Is he hooking up with her?

[katecopes]

I have been distance for about 4 months. He calls me his gf but we haven't had the exclusive talk yet. We facetime multiple times a week and have seen each other 3 times in person each for 3-4 days at a time. This past weekend at 2 am I saw a post on his instagram page of him with a cute girl and the caption was basically her admitting to hijacking his phone. One of the hashtags was "#notmygf." The post was already deleted that next morning. I haven't brought it up to him yet because I don't want to seem psycho, and honestly it's probably nothing. I know he considers her a good friend- but she is super pretty which is probably the main reason I keep dwelling on this. Thoughts? I feel like the most likely explanation is that they have a flirty friendship and have probably hooked up before in the past. Thank you!

[KBob]

I feel like the most likely explanation is that they have a flirty friendship and have probably hooked up before in the past. Thank you!

 

If that's the case then you do have a reason to be concerned. A guy that's had sexual history with a good looking woman isn't going to stop being sexually attracted to her after they stop having sex for whatever reason. If he calls you his girlfriend then that should be default exclusivity. Have you been together longer than the 4 months you've been long distance for?

 

I would recommend talking to him about her and simply explaining that your concerns lie in the fact that there needs to be a solid foundation of trust for a long distance relationship to work. Posting pictures to his instagram with an unknown, attractive woman IMO is a risk to that trust.

[smackie9]

His actions speaks volumes.....and that is why there is no real exclusivity.

[Knix]

Well first of all, just because she is pretty, does not mean that they have hooked up. You're probably overthinking it. Taking pictures of herself with his phone is immature, but because she posted #notmygf, I think she's the one making it clear that there is nothing going on. If it's really reeeally bothering you just ask him what that was about and let him answer. But it's probably best to just let it go, especially since you haven't had time to get close.

[Jason Van Jason]

Maybe your not exclusive because you don't trust him?

 

Based on what your saying, it sounds like you have more reasons to not trust him than just this and even if you are feeling like you are overthinking those reasons, the fact of the matter is that you are still thinking these things.

 

Sounds like you have a choice to make, either commit your feelings or do not and if you've been seeing this person for 3-4 months and you still do not have enough information to make that choice, there is definitely a reason why.

[Blackbird0121]

If you are his girlfriend, you should be exclusive right? I would think the two go hand-in-hand but that might just be me!

 

They may be just friends and there is nothing romantic going on between them. The post itself doesn't seem suspicious to me, but the fact that it was deleted is strange. If he deleted it, clearly he is hiding something.

 

I think you need to talk to him and have a conversation about your relationship and exclusivity. LDRs take even more trust than regular relationships, and you need to be able to trust him for a successful relationship!

[justwhoiam]

I saw a post on his instagram page of him with a cute girl and the caption was basically her admitting to hijacking his phone. One of the hashtags was "#notmygf."

So he made sure to tell the world she's not his girlfriend. What's the problem then? Was it that he posted it at 2 am?

 

The post was already deleted that next morning.

Or is this the problem? The fact that he deleted picture and caption? That he was probably questioning why that picture had to be there for the world to see?

 

Or maybe the problem is that he didn't publicly announced you as his gf either?

 

In short, it's not clear what your problem is.

 

Is he hooking up with her?

Who knows?