Snow7 Posted April 13, 2017 Share Posted April 13, 2017 I asked my husband for a separation 2 months ago. We then had to stay under the same roof for 6 weeks and I moved out 2 weeks ago. We've communicated regularly via text regarding stuff about our kid and practical household related issues but we have not talked about our relationship at all. Right before I moved out, I tried to talk to him about collaborative divorce and gave him a list of lawyers in our area to choose from but he didn't want to discuss it. I know he's joined an OLD site. So he's obviously realizes it's over and is ready to move on. It he hasn't told his family or any of our friends. Not sure what I should do now? I'm not even sure I know what I WANT to do. We are hiring a nanny so maybe he wants to make sure the transition to single parenting goes fine. Should I give him more time? I just want to move on and have closure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted April 13, 2017 Share Posted April 13, 2017 Right before I moved out, I tried to talk to him about collaborative divorce and gave him a list of lawyers in our area to choose from but he didn't want to discuss it. Pretty sure you can't have a "collaborative divorce" with someone who refuses to collaborate . If you're honestly focused on moving forward, file on your own and let the process play out. Why the separation/divorce in the first place? Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted April 14, 2017 Share Posted April 14, 2017 Be prepared for a messy divorce. You have moved out. Why ? That is usually not a good move if you are divorcing with a child. Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted April 14, 2017 Share Posted April 14, 2017 You know that restaurant you always wanted to try but didn't cause he didn't like that kind of food? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 14, 2017 Share Posted April 14, 2017 (edited) You don't need your husband to file for divorce. If you're ready to move on go ahead and file so he will be served. Ok I read some of your previous threads and your husband has been cheating and emotionally neglecting you for quite some time. Also he is not fighting for your marriage but online searching. I can't blame you for moving on and trying to have a more fulfilling life. Also don't be afraid to share what is happening with your close friends and family. They are going to find out anyway and you will need their support. Edited April 14, 2017 by stillafool 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Snow7 Posted April 14, 2017 Author Share Posted April 14, 2017 Be prepared for a messy divorce. You have moved out. Why ? That is usually not a good move if you are divorcing with a child. I moved out because there is no way in hell that he would have done it. Also, I cannot afford our family home on my own (nor do I want it honestly)and he can. My Lucky, if you read some of my earlier threads, it will explain why the separation and divorce. I am not interested in playing the blame game. We have special needs child so we will need to communicate and be collaborative for the rest of our lives. I just want to get on with it already. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted April 14, 2017 Share Posted April 14, 2017 Well, then you should file. It doesn't sound like he is interested in working things out and to be very honest, I wouldn't be interested in working things out with any man who cheated during the marriage and was looking for other women so quickly after separating. Good riddance! Best to settle the finances and start collecting your child and spousal support. You can then settle in to a new home and focus on your children. I would also tell fiends and family because you will definitely need their support. Best wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted April 14, 2017 Share Posted April 14, 2017 You thought separation would knock some sense into him. Well, it didn't. And it never will. Nothing will. He will never get better. Just move on. File for divorce. Pick the lawyer yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted April 14, 2017 Share Posted April 14, 2017 My Lucky, if you read some of my earlier threads, it will explain why the separation and divorce. Wish I had the time time to research every poster's back story. Well, then you should file. Just move on. File for divorce. Pick the lawyer yourself. I third the motion ... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted April 14, 2017 Share Posted April 14, 2017 If you want a divorce file. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 OP - Just file and move the process along yourself. It's time to protect the needs of yourself and your kids. Get agreements into place. Get closure. Let him deal with it in his own way (which sounds like it involves getting his ego stroked by other women). I agree with the PP that if separating and the other stuff you've tried doesn't zap some sense into him, he's never going to be a true partner to you. So you might as well move on and find a guy who will be that when you're ready. Be prepared for a messy divorce. You have moved out. Why ? That is usually not a good move if you are divorcing with a child. That's not true in all areas... especially if you don't want the marital home. Link to post Share on other sites
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