Author brileeb Posted April 13, 2017 Author Share Posted April 13, 2017 Why do you want this abuser back? He sounds like a psychopath who should stay gone from your life forever. You're right but why won't he give me my keys and why did he say he was coming to get his bed but didn't? Do you think I'll ever get them? Do you think he's going to come and get the bed? Link to post Share on other sites
Author brileeb Posted April 13, 2017 Author Share Posted April 13, 2017 It's best that the relationship is over then. You're right but why won't he give me my keys and why did he say he was coming to get his bed but didn't? Do you think I'll ever get them? Do you think he's going to come and get the bed? Link to post Share on other sites
Author brileeb Posted April 13, 2017 Author Share Posted April 13, 2017 I guess I'm a little heartbroken because he was my first everything and we've been together off and on for about 8 years 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 13, 2017 Share Posted April 13, 2017 8 years is a long time. No I don't think he's going to get his things. I think you should just change the locks & move when the lease is up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brileeb Posted April 13, 2017 Author Share Posted April 13, 2017 8 years is a long time. No I don't think he's going to get his things. I think you should just change the locks & move when the lease is up. But why won't be give me my keys? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 13, 2017 Share Posted April 13, 2017 Because your keys is the only way he can make you mad without being in front of you physically abusing you. What he did was inexcusable. You should have called the police on him, and you may have to if you don't get those locks changed right now! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 13, 2017 Share Posted April 13, 2017 He won't give you the keys because you want them. He's playing games. Stop letting him. The cost of changing the locks buys you peace of mind. Link to post Share on other sites
whatnot Posted April 14, 2017 Share Posted April 14, 2017 I was gone...to stay gone. couldn't resist....(someone "liked" my post....had to see what a great thing I had written hee hee) anyway.... brileeb.....I don't know you. But, I don't have to. If my brother-in-law did what your guy did to my sister, I hate to think what I would do. Hopefully, I would just call the police (even if it made her hate me) and just let her not like me....because I love her too much to let anything like this happen to her. I'd love her enough to let her hate me. The fact that his family was there, and did not intervene. (even a stranger who doesn't know you, if worth his salt, would have intervened on your behalf). That tells me you are in a very unhealthy place. Both....with them....but, more importantly, with yourself. As I write this, I know there is nothing I can say or do to help you. And, I'm sorry I cannot. Good luck with things. You are in my thoughts. I won't forget your situation, or you. You are an honest person. When you say..."I'd care again if he did". That's not something that people know about themselves. It shows honesty, with yourself. You put things in such a way that many cannot. I care for you....from across the miles. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 14, 2017 Share Posted April 14, 2017 You're right but why won't he give me my keys and why did he say he was coming to get his bed but didn't? Do you think I'll ever get them? Do you think he's going to come and get the bed? Because he's an abusive jerk and that's what they do. It's all about power and manipulative games and that's what he's doing now. Change the locks. And start looking for a new place. It's time to cut him out of your life forever. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BeautifuLie Posted April 15, 2017 Share Posted April 15, 2017 He was drinking and accused me of cheating( I wasn't ) ripped my shirt off and drug me out the house by my legs and then threw me out in front of the house with my bra on and threw my coat in the bushes in front of his uncle and brother! Wait.. Waahhht.? Sounds like the two of you have no business being together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brileeb Posted April 24, 2017 Author Share Posted April 24, 2017 My ex and I broke up the middle of March. It was bad, I put him out and the whole 9. We talked a couple days after that then that was it, no calls/ texts or anything. 2 weeks after that I randomly texted him and asked if he could put the keys to my house in my mailbox, he didn't respond. Beginning of April he was in an accident and I went to see him, he was surprised I came (it was that bad). So even after that he thanked me for coming and that was it, no communication. So the cable bill was in his name so I got it cut off and put in my name. We'll I guess they called him about the bill and the equipment so he randomly texts me say "hey I see you got the cable cut off can. You let me know if I need to return the equipment and I'll have my mom drop off your keys" I returned the stuff so I said that then he thanked me and said he had to like find my keys and then he'll have her drop them off or whatever. So I said thanks. Then he texted again saying and just because we're going through all of this doesn't mean we have to hate each other. I said I don't hate you that's it. Then he texts back i don't hate you either I just wanted to put that out there. What is all that supposed to mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 He was drinking and accused me of cheating( I wasn't ) ripped my shirt off and drug me out the house by my legs and then threw me out in front of the house with my bra on and threw my coat in the bushes in front of his uncle and brother! You should be done with this guy. I'm not sure why a man that treats you this way is warranted niceties on your part. Instead of focusing on what these silly text messages mean, pay attention to why you desire being cordial to someone that dragged you by your legs out of the house, half naked in public. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 It means he doesn't hate you. It doesn't mean he wants to reconcile. If things were so bad you had to put him out of the house a month ago, you have to assume he's still the same person even if he's acting mature right now. Forget the keys. Pay to change the locks & get him out of your life. That doesn't mean you have to go out of your way to be awful to each other but there's no reason to stay close. It was very kind of you to go to the hospital but really sever the ties & move on. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 It means he wants a peaceful break up and doesn't want you to have hard feelings towards him as he has none for you. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Instead of focusing on what these silly text messages mean, pay attention to why you desire being cordial to someone that dragged you by your legs out of the house, half naked in public. OP, be thankful this happened and I don't know why you are even giving this guy a second thought. He has no respect for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 He was drinking and accused me of cheating( I wasn't ) ripped my shirt off and drug me out the house by my legs and then threw me out in front of the house with my bra on and threw my coat in the bushes in front of his uncle and brother! So yeah I did bruise his ego because I wanted him to be as hurt as I was embarrassed as well. He was not remorseful so I thought that would make him feel bad for what he did to me. Even after I packed his things he didn't apologize. Then once he did I asked him to come back. Then all he cared about was me embarrassing him! That's not fair! He thought there would be no consequences for his actions? So I still gave him more opportunities to come back before and after I took him his things. This should be game over. If I even *saw* something like this happen near my home, I would question if I needed to pick up a second job to move someone a little nicer where such trailer trash antics didn't happen. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 never mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brileeb Posted April 25, 2017 Author Share Posted April 25, 2017 But why would he hate me? What does he mean what we're going through right now, we aren't going through anything, we've broken up we don't talk so what is that supposed to mean? I already changed the locks so I haven't asked or cared about the keys Link to post Share on other sites
Author brileeb Posted April 25, 2017 Author Share Posted April 25, 2017 Idk why I do either, I guess I still love him but it's clear he doesn't give a care about me. I guess since he was my first love and it's hard for me to let go. But I really want to! I want to stop crying and thinking of him! I want him to want me I guess, I want him to feel bad for what he did and be sad and apologizing and begging me to take him back. He promised he would never leave me again and that we were going to get married and that he loved me so much. So I guess it just hard for me to believe he would hurt me like this again! Link to post Share on other sites
Author brileeb Posted April 25, 2017 Author Share Posted April 25, 2017 He always does me like this, we broke up a few years ago and he always does something bad (never physical until now)to make me break up with him and then he makes it seem like it's my fault and then ignores me and stops talking to me. And after a year of that break up, he came to a mutual friends house and said he wanted me back and I went right back like a stupid girl! And believed all his promises and that he never wanted to lose me again and all that and then this happened! I feel so stupid and weak I want to movement on and this time really move on but idk how I'm still sad all the time and I know I shouldn't be! I try to remind myself of the horrible things he did and I still get sad sometimes! I feel like I got played twice I should've stayed away the first time but I loved him and I believed him but I'm starting to believe this was a game for him! I lost so much weight the last time I had to take sleeping pills to sleep at night I explained to him how hard that break up was on me mentally and physically and mentally and he swore he would never leave or hurt me again and look what he's done again? Link to post Share on other sites
Author brileeb Posted April 25, 2017 Author Share Posted April 25, 2017 It means he doesn't hate you. It doesn't mean he wants to reconcile. If things were so bad you had to put him out of the house a month ago, you have to assume he's still the same person even if he's acting mature right now. Forget the keys. Pay to change the locks & get him out of your life. That doesn't mean you have to go out of your way to be awful to each other but there's no reason to stay close. It was very kind of you to go to the hospital but really sever the ties & move on. But why would he hate me? What does he mean what we're going through right now, we aren't going through anything, we've broken up we don't talk so what is that supposed to mean? I already changed the locks so I haven't asked or cared about the keys Link to post Share on other sites
Author brileeb Posted April 25, 2017 Author Share Posted April 25, 2017 It means he doesn't hate you. It doesn't mean he wants to reconcile. If things were so bad you had to put him out of the house a month ago, you have to assume he's still the same person even if he's acting mature right now. Forget the keys. Pay to change the locks & get him out of your life. That doesn't mean you have to go out of your way to be awful to each other but there's no reason to stay close. It was very kind of you to go to the hospital but really sever the ties & move on. OP, be thankful this happened and I don't know why you are even giving this guy a second thought. He has no respect for you. Idk why I do either, I guess I still love him but it's clear he doesn't give a care about me. I guess since he was my first love and it's hard for me to let go. But I really want to! I want to stop crying and thinking of him! I want him to want me I guess, I want him to feel bad for what he did and be sad and apologizing and begging me to take him back. He promised he would never leave me again and that we were going to get married and that he loved me so much. So I guess it just hard for me to believe he would hurt me like this again! Link to post Share on other sites
Author brileeb Posted April 25, 2017 Author Share Posted April 25, 2017 You should be done with this guy. I'm not sure why a man that treats you this way is warranted niceties on your part. Instead of focusing on what these silly text messages mean, pay attention to why you desire being cordial to someone that dragged you by your legs out of the house, half naked in public. He always does me like this, we broke up a few years ago and he always does something bad (never physical until now)to make me break up with him and then he makes it seem like it's my fault and then ignores me and stops talking to me. And after a year of that break up, he came to a mutual friends house and said he wanted me back and I went right back like a stupid girl! And believed all his promises and that he never wanted to lose me again and all that and then this happened! I feel so stupid and weak I want to movement on and this time really move on but idk how I'm still sad all the time and I know I shouldn't be! I try to remind myself of the horrible things he did and I still get sad sometimes! I feel like I got played twice I should've stayed away the first time but I loved him and I believed him but I'm starting to believe this was a game for him! I lost so much weight the last time I had to take sleeping pills to sleep at night I explained to him how hard that break up was on me mentally and physically and mentally and he swore he would never leave or hurt me again and look what he's done again? Link to post Share on other sites
AT15 Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 Abuse and trauma bonds are the worst relationships to break free from. Usually when you are in a relationship with a person who abuses you, the abuser will be the one who calls off the relationship. I find that this happens for one of two reasons, 1. The abuser doesn't like to be reminded of their abusive ways when confronted by the abused. Even if the abused has no inner power to leave. 2. The abused is depleted of their inner power. Their is nothing left for the abuser to fight. OP, it would be in your highest good to take control of this situation ( internally) and set yourself straight on who you really are. These are the moments that can change your psyche for the better if you do the inner work. If that doesn't happen, then you will attract the same abuser in a different body. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 Where did he say he hated you? He said he doesn't hate you and it seemed that he was trying to make a peaceful breakup although he never apologized. You changed the locks so you don't need the keys and I imagine he is trying to find a place to stay where he can get his bedroom furniture moved in. Your relationship was not healthy and you both need to move on and put this mess behind you. Link to post Share on other sites
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