Mother Constantly Asking For Things

[BettyDraper]

My mother is a compulsive shopper. She has a closet full of outfits which still have tags on them, shoes she doesn't wear and dresses she's only worn once.

 

For some reason, almost every time I speak to her, my mother is always expecting me to buy her some kind of clothing item. She'll ask me to look it up online and then tell me to buy it for her. Sometimes I buy the clothing for her but on most occasions I don't. I don't like my mother's entitled attitude.

She's used to my brother buying her whatever she wants and giving her money.

 

In the past, my mother has complained that I don't give her enough money. She and my father have done well for themselves. They live in the Caribbean. Their house is in a gated community with a private pool and beach. They have a domestic helper as well. My parents have more money than my husband and I as well as my brother. It's not like they are struggling so I don't think it's appropriate to keep asking for money and gifts like a spoiled child.

 

My mother and I will never be close because she was an abusive parent and she loves to put me down. She also enjoys gossiping about me. It's pretty funny that she knows we are not close yet she throws tantrums because I rarely answer the phone when she calls. It's also ridiculous that my mother expects me to lavish her with gifts and money despite our distant relationship. It's like she lives in an alternate reality.

 

My husband thinks my mother is an immature brat. His parents are poor and they never ask for anything. My father never demands money and gifts either. We're going overseas for a trip and my mother said "I hope you bring me something". Nope. I'm shopping for myself and my nephew.

 

If you have a greedy brat for a parent, how do you handle their behavior?

[d0nnivain]

sadly, you ignore the person. You certainly don't buy her things.

[Whodatdog]

You could try "no".

[Mr. Lucky]

Sometimes I buy the clothing for her but on most occasions, I don't.

 

If you give in 25% of the time, that just teaches her to ask 4 more times for each "gift". Be consistent, stand your ground and do what feels right for you...

 

Mr. Lucky

[anduina]

Why not tell her that you can't afford it?

[BettyDraper]

If you give in 25% of the time, that just teaches her to ask 4 more times for each "gift". Be consistent, stand your ground and do what feels right for you...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

This is true. I just try to avoid my mother as much as possible. It's easier that way.

 

I believe that my mother has NPD. The world revolves around my mother and her needs.

That's why she throws tantrums when I don't answer her incessant phone calls.

[BettyDraper]

Why not tell her that you can't afford it?

 

I would rather not give any information to my mother about my financial situation.

[Whodatdog]

Next time she calls and asks for money, tell her you were JUST getting ready to call her and ask her the very same thing!

[BettyDraper]

Next time she calls and asks for money, tell her you were JUST getting ready to call her and ask her the very same thing!

 

:lmao: This might work.

[whichwayisup]

You could try "no".

 

Yep, this! Tell her no. You're enabling her behavior by buying her more stuff that she doesn't need or wear. It's a waste of money. Your mom is a clothes hoarder and maybe needs some help. Talk to your dad about this and see if he feels this has become a problem.