Whisky1981 Posted April 16, 2017 Share Posted April 16, 2017 I am just curious, what would you do if you found out that your girlfriend went to a speeddating event lying that she was somewhere else? Thank you for your response. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 16, 2017 Share Posted April 16, 2017 How long ago was it that you had the commitment talk and both agreed to be exclusive? Or did you forget to do that? If you had an oral agreement, then that's cheating. If not, then that's dating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whisky1981 Posted April 16, 2017 Author Share Posted April 16, 2017 We were an exclusive couple for 1 and a half year. Although we had a huge fight that led to a 1 month break up. But when she went speeddating we were back together. So yeah, absolutly exclusive relationship. Thank you for your reply. Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted April 16, 2017 Share Posted April 16, 2017 So she's shopping for a replacement? What was her explanation - did she claim that she felt neglected and just wanted someone to pay attention to her and didn't intend for the speed dating to actually go anywhere? If so, is there any likelihood that it's true? HAVE you been ignoring her? Did she tell you about the speed dating? Did she do any followup with anyone from it, or just enjoy the three minute flirt? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whisky1981 Posted April 16, 2017 Author Share Posted April 16, 2017 She never told me that she went speed dating...she was lying that she was on one of her activities when this happened. I dosen't matter how I learned that she went, but she definitly did. Now, why she did this. No, I never neglected her, I was always true to her, never lied, never dated other people outside of her. As I posted before, we had a huge fight and I left her but she went out of the way to get back together. I won't go into details but it was mostly her fault that we broke up, because of her behavior and her previous actions in the relationship. Long story short, we break up, then she goes out of the way to get me back and when I agree to get back together (althogh I said to her that I don't like her anymore and that she'll have to get me back with her actions....) that was the action she took right after I agreed to try again. Another thing, she was defenitly having flirtatious contacts with other guys trough her mail...don't know if they were a follow up to the speed dating, but they were definitly there . Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted April 16, 2017 Share Posted April 16, 2017 You should have stayed broken up. She's not relationship material. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whisky1981 Posted April 16, 2017 Author Share Posted April 16, 2017 Yeah, no worries, when I learned this I just waited for the right moment to break up again, which I did after 2 months. So now it's over for good. I am asking this to see what would be your first reaction if you found out something like this. And you wouldn't be allowed to disclose to her that you know. Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted April 16, 2017 Share Posted April 16, 2017 Her behavior suggests that she doesn't see a future with you, and as soon as she meets another guy, she will probably dump you. It sounds like she got back together with you because she doesn't want to be alone. Some people are really insecure about being alone so they will overlap between relationships. Ask yourself, do you really want to be in a relationship with someone you can't trust? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whisky1981 Posted April 16, 2017 Author Share Posted April 16, 2017 Yeah, Scarlett. That's the point here. I think that when something like this happens you just can't trust that person anymore and there is no future in the realationship. Thank you for your reply. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted April 16, 2017 Share Posted April 16, 2017 Yeah, no worries, when I learned this I just waited for the right moment to break up again, which I did after 2 months. So now it's over for good. I am asking this to see what would be your first reaction if you found out something like this. And you wouldn't be allowed to disclose to her that you know. IMO, I'd go completely dark and block everything. Life's to short to have needless crap in it. Why can't divulge? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted April 16, 2017 Share Posted April 16, 2017 what would you do if you found out that your girlfriend went to a speeddating event lying that she was somewhere else? I would think that she is no longer my girlfriend. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whisky1981 Posted April 16, 2017 Author Share Posted April 16, 2017 IMO, I'd go completely dark and block everything. Life's to short to have needless crap in it. Why can't divulge? I wasn't able to divulge this because I stole her email account and if she would have found out she could have taken legal action against me. So I just broke up with her and that was the end of it. No need to disclose anything. I knew and that was enough. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 16, 2017 Share Posted April 16, 2017 This isn't even a close Q. You get a new GF. You already broke up once. This was the second chance. She's flirting with other guys. She is actively seeking a different relationship. Going speed dating doesn't "just happen." She's got at least one foot out the door of this relationship. Why are you still sticking around? Do you want to be introduced to whomever she met at speed dating? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 16, 2017 Share Posted April 16, 2017 I think she just knows there's now instability in the relationship that will probably never fully heal so she's looking. I'm sorry. Probably a clean break would be best for you so you can recover and find someone else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whisky1981 Posted April 17, 2017 Author Share Posted April 17, 2017 I think she just knows there's now instability in the relationship that will probably never fully heal so she's looking. I'm sorry. Probably a clean break would be best for you so you can recover and find someone else. I did break up with her after I came to know of this. We are not together anymore. I could have never trusted her again. So I finished it. I just don't understand this kind of behavior, when you literaly try to get somebody back for a month and right after you get him back you do something that destroys the whole relationship again. I know that I could never do something like this and behave in that way towards my significant other. Hell, generaly when I break up a long term relationship I need at least 6 months to get back in dating because I have to put myself back together. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 17, 2017 Share Posted April 17, 2017 It's cowardly and not mature behavior, but at least half of the population does this crap and hurts people. They either want more than one person or they want to find a replacement before they dump you. I only had one friend growing up who would do this and it made me look down on her. I would say "What are doing? I thought you were with X!" I would tell her, If you're not happy, break up. I don't know why she was like that. Maybe it was money, but I have to believe she could have always moved in with her parents, you know, at any age. And then men do it because they just want more than one woman. And all it tells you about a person is they don't have much empathy and don't love whoever they're doing that with, and probably are not capable of real love, because if you love someone or ever loved someone, the last thing you'd want to do is hurt them. It's selfish and self-absorbed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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