letting go!

[Cinderella]

Im sure this sounds like another dead end story, but sometimes it helps hearing a little input from a third person. I met him last summer at a party. I was married about a year, happily I thought, when Mr Wrong walked into my life.This gorgeous smooth talker with a whole lot of past attached. 26 divorced with a child and separated from his girlfriend who might I add , had his child on the way. From our first talk,it was like he swept me away! Couldnt think of anything but him. We worked together for about 2 weeks until his job was done. Didnt sleep with him just yet,was scared of what this would do to my marriage.He lived in another country and it just seemed hopeless to make dreams on nothing. He just pushed and really made me beleive that we could be together. We were from two different worlds, two different classes and yet my desire for him would not go away. On his last night, I lied and drove down to see him.We made love however it wasnt what I expected and yet I just wanted him more. He made all sorts of promises and we sought out a plan to see each other in amonth.He flew out to see me. I booked the classiest hotel and 5 days were heaven.The love making was like the 4th of july. I found myself growing more and more attached. Although I made promises, I never really beleived that i could live up to them. After constant phone calls and messaging I bought him tickets to come see me again. His financial position was the pitts, however I am quite well off and would do anything for him. His second trip out wasnt so great. We argued alot, we disagreed, he told me that I was too classy for him, yet I overlooked it all and told him that in my eyes he was all I ever wanted. I felt him slipping away and yet although I was slipping, I couldnt stop wanting him and still we made dreams. as soon as he landed in his hometown, his first phone call was cold. He told me that he needed time to think and then all of a sudden it just stopped. Two and half months and everything froze. No more phonecalls , no more emails, no messages. He implied that he was going back to his ex and I just said ok.My world shattered. He called after that a few times, sensed a bit of jealousy. SOme unexpected messages and then on valentines day "Im missing you lots and want to see you". Its like he has a beer and thinks of me. I try to hold back and there are times when I dont think of him at all, and then theres these weak moments where I just crumble and send him a message. SOme time he responds, sometimes he doesnt. I am finally sleeping again, and yet I find myself asking the simplest questions that I cant find answers for. Like how can one fall in love soquickly and out of it even faster. How does one let go so easy, when I cant even find my way back. How does one walk away and why do others walk on top us with no respect? How do I stop loving him when Im in love with loving with him. My life has changed so remarkbly after our break up.I dont feel as alive as I did and although I know he wasnt for me...how do I convince myself. DOes someone know how I can make letting go an easier thing to DO! Thanks for the listening ear!

[Ellen]

I wish I could help you how to let it go...but as I was reading your story, I had tears in my eyes because it reminds me so much of my story. You give up your whole life to someone and he just walks all over you.

 

I had this kind of relationship one after another, and I am still getting over one now, it's just to let you know that you're not alone, there are a lot of warm-hearted people like you.

 

try to think he is dead or something, that he doesn't exsist anymore. Time & distance heal sometimes too. Be strong.

Im sure this sounds like another dead end story, but sometimes it helps hearing a little input from a third person. I met him last summer at a party. I was married about a year, happily I thought, when Mr Wrong walked into my life.This gorgeous smooth talker with a whole lot of past attached. 26 divorced with a child and separated from his girlfriend who might I add , had his child on the way. From our first talk,it was like he swept me away! Couldnt think of anything but him. We worked together for about 2 weeks until his job was done. Didnt sleep with him just yet,was scared of what this would do to my marriage.He lived in another country and it just seemed hopeless to make dreams on nothing. He just pushed and really made me beleive that we could be together. We were from two different worlds, two different classes and yet my desire for him would not go away. On his last night, I lied and drove down to see him.We made love however it wasnt what I expected and yet I just wanted him more. He made all sorts of promises and we sought out a plan to see each other in amonth.He flew out to see me. I booked the classiest hotel and 5 days were heaven.The love making was like the 4th of july. I found myself growing more and more attached. Although I made promises, I never really beleived that i could live up to them. After constant phone calls and messaging I bought him tickets to come see me again. His financial position was the pitts, however I am quite well off and would do anything for him. His second trip out wasnt so great. We argued alot, we disagreed, he told me that I was too classy for him, yet I overlooked it all and told him that in my eyes he was all I ever wanted. I felt him slipping away and yet although I was slipping, I couldnt stop wanting him and still we made dreams. as soon as he landed in his hometown, his first phone call was cold. He told me that he needed time to think and then all of a sudden it just stopped. Two and half months and everything froze. No more phonecalls , no more emails, no messages. He implied that he was going back to his ex and I just said ok.My world shattered. He called after that a few times, sensed a bit of jealousy. SOme unexpected messages and then on valentines day "Im missing you lots and want to see you". Its like he has a beer and thinks of me. I try to hold back and there are times when I dont think of him at all, and then theres these weak moments where I just crumble and send him a message. SOme time he responds, sometimes he doesnt. I am finally sleeping again, and yet I find myself asking the simplest questions that I cant find answers for. Like how can one fall in love soquickly and out of it even faster. How does one let go so easy, when I cant even find my way back. How does one walk away and why do others walk on top us with no respect? How do I stop loving him when Im in love with loving with him. My life has changed so remarkbly after our break up.I dont feel as alive as I did and although I know he wasnt for me...how do I convince myself. DOes someone know how I can make letting go an easier thing to DO! Thanks for the listening ear!