Husband disappointed in me

[sandylee1]

I think you need a man you can be yourself with. You're currently bending over backwards to be someone you aren't.

 

You may be right about him being the goldigger.. So why not make a will and leave a good proportion of your assets to blood relatives in the meantime.

 

Some men get very intimidated by women earning more than them... Maybe that's part of his issue.

 

You need to address the lack of intimacy and if it doesn't improve to your satisfaction, don't waste any more time and end it.

 

This marriage currently sounds like really hard work on your part.

[immatureWife]

You give any thought to my suggestions?

 

Oh GOD now I feel miserable. But I needed it. After reading all the posts I realize what an annoying, irritating person I am. Maybe they would have been cute if I were still in my teens but not at this age. Maybe cute to my parents who have over-pampered me all my life and some of my friends, but not to a spouse. Some of my friends did imply from time to time that my mother crippled me and about my annoying habits but I never paid attention. Other facts that I didn't reveal. I am sure you'll all now understand who is the one at fault, but I really need to hear. I really need to hear the brutal truths about myself:

 

1. I have always had my own washroom and nobody is allowed to use it. I never use public toilets or anybody else's for that matter. My husband agreed to give me my own washroom at his place before we got married. When he comes over to my place, he is only allowed to pee in my toilet (he is the first person who has been given that permission although before we tied the knot I told him he wouldn't be allowed to do so either). Perhaps I have some sort of OCD.

 

2. I made it clear to him (before we tied the knot) that I would never give him a BJ. He said that was okay. I have never given it to any man and I don't believe I ever would be able to. Even if I have to stay single for the rest of my life. I told him so several times and also the fact that I was horrible in bed. Now when we're having sex (or used to) he asks me from time to time if I would swallow his cum and I say "yes" just to keep him aroused, but after we are done I tell him "I hope you realize that I would never do it and I just said yes so you could have a fantasy about it". I did like it when he got down on me perhaps three or four times, but the thought of all the germs getting inside his mouth really made me uncomfortable and so I couldn't enjoy that either. So I don't mind whether he gets down on me or not. But again, I offered to give him one once or twice given that he showered and I got drunk, but he was very nice and said that I didn't have to do something that I didn't want to do.

 

And no, I spoke to my lawyer and in the event of my death he will not be getting my property. Maybe a very small portion under the jurisdiction of our country. I am actually the one who'd be getting a large sum of cash in the event of a divorce. Although I don't actually plan on accepting it if we were to divorce.

[NTV]

Wow. Yes somewhat...errr....greatly pampered. That's about attitude and expectations though and can be changed.

 

I don't know what you have against a blow job. They are one of the best things in this world lol.

 

Hmmm..... do you journal? It's probably time to wake up to what is realistic in an adult relationship. A journal will help with internalizing the changes. Posting and reading here can help normalize sexual behavior by differentiating normal from unusual.

 

I agree think your sex life and relationship with your husband can grow into something that you've never had before if you let yourself experience life.

[stillafool]

One of my friends is 60 yo and she baby talks everyone. I HATE it but her guy LOVES it. She is child-like and helpless with almost everything and it makes her seem young. Her guy is 8 years younger than her and loves that she is this way.

 

I think maybe you just have the wrong guy, or maybe when you get older, older men will love it to death because then they won't feel like they're with someone old.

 

Maybe the baby talk works when the woman is in her early 20s but to have someone with a 60 year old face talking like a baby is a real turn off for most people.

[mikeylo]

I personally wouldn't be able to stay married if I was the husband here. Period. Too much entitlement and attitude.

[Popsicle]

Maybe the baby talk works when the woman is in her early 20s but to have someone with a 60 year old face talking like a baby is a real turn off for most people.

 

I totally agree but not for her boyfriend so I figure some men must like it.

 

 

I wonder how old the OP is? She says she baby talks.

[Heathen]

 

1. I have always had my own washroom and nobody is allowed to use it. I never use public toilets or anybody else's for that matter. My husband agreed to give me my own washroom at his place before we got married. When he comes over to my place, he is only allowed to pee in my toilet (he is the first person who has been given that permission although before we tied the knot I told him he wouldn't be allowed to do so either). Perhaps I have some sort of OCD.

 

2. I made it clear to him (before we tied the knot) that I would never give him a BJ. He said that was okay. I have never given it to any man and I don't believe I ever would be able to. Even if I have to stay single for the rest of my life. I told him so several times and also the fact that I was horrible in bed. Now when we're having sex (or used to) he asks me from time to time if I would swallow his cum and I say "yes" just to keep him aroused, but after we are done I tell him "I hope you realize that I would never do it and I just said yes so you could have a fantasy about it". I did like it when he got down on me perhaps three or four times, but the thought of all the germs getting inside his mouth really made me uncomfortable and so I couldn't enjoy that either. So I don't mind whether he gets down on me or not. But again, I offered to give him one once or twice given that he showered and I got drunk, but he was very nice and said that I didn't have to do something that I didn't want to do.

 

And no, I spoke to my lawyer and in the event of my death he will not be getting my property.

 

No amount of property is worth living with this. Maybe you are a germaphobe. Germaphobes can usually be a little more accepting with a trusted spouse and therapy. Get some help on this and perhaps things may improve

 

I really don't see a problem with the baby talk, if it is related to intimacy, however even your intimacy sucks.

 

Actually, I guess it really doesn't.

 

And that is unfortunate for the both of you.

[JuneL]

I think we're getting a fuller picture with the additional information below.

 

You mentioned you're divorced; did your ex hubby not have the same issues (i.e., having to deal with a "spoiled" wife)? Also, I find it a little shocking that you've been able to avoid public bathrooms your whole life; did you not have to use the bathroom during office hours when you were working for the NGO? Were you the CEO with your own bathroom in your personal office suite then??

 

I think you can benefit much from individual therapy. The good news is, you seem to be self-reflective and it sounds like you're willing to work on improving the whole situation. Maybe you can make the best use of this extended break to work on being a more "compassionate" person (not someone with the my way or highway mentality).

 

 

Oh GOD now I feel miserable. But I needed it. After reading all the posts I realize what an annoying, irritating person I am. Maybe they would have been cute if I were still in my teens but not at this age. Maybe cute to my parents who have over-pampered me all my life and some of my friends, but not to a spouse. Some of my friends did imply from time to time that my mother crippled me and about my annoying habits but I never paid attention. Other facts that I didn't reveal. I am sure you'll all now understand who is the one at fault, but I really need to hear. I really need to hear the brutal truths about myself:

 

1. I have always had my own washroom and nobody is allowed to use it. I never use public toilets or anybody else's for that matter. My husband agreed to give me my own washroom at his place before we got married. When he comes over to my place, he is only allowed to pee in my toilet (he is the first person who has been given that permission although before we tied the knot I told him he wouldn't be allowed to do so either). Perhaps I have some sort of OCD.

 

2. I made it clear to him (before we tied the knot) that I would never give him a BJ. He said that was okay. I have never given it to any man and I don't believe I ever would be able to. Even if I have to stay single for the rest of my life. I told him so several times and also the fact that I was horrible in bed. Now when we're having sex (or used to) he asks me from time to time if I would swallow his cum and I say "yes" just to keep him aroused, but after we are done I tell him "I hope you realize that I would never do it and I just said yes so you could have a fantasy about it". I did like it when he got down on me perhaps three or four times, but the thought of all the germs getting inside his mouth really made me uncomfortable and so I couldn't enjoy that either. So I don't mind whether he gets down on me or not. But again, I offered to give him one once or twice given that he showered and I got drunk, but he was very nice and said that I didn't have to do something that I didn't want to do.

 

And no, I spoke to my lawyer and in the event of my death he will not be getting my property. Maybe a very small portion under the jurisdiction of our country. I am actually the one who'd be getting a large sum of cash in the event of a divorce. Although I don't actually plan on accepting it if we were to divorce.

[immatureWife]

Lol. I was just curious as to how people these days think and feel. Trust me, I am a very strong woman and I am well aware of my rights.

 

If a spouse is withholding sex, or using it as a weapon, this is immediate grounds for divorce. Marriage, as set forth in legal precedent, implies that there will be sex’to withhold this is considered a divorceable offense.If one partner refuses to seek therapy or medication to help with the issue and it can be proven that the other spouse encouraged this type of healing, the case likely could be considered for an at-fault divorce. Sometimes it’s total refusal, sometimes it’s sex once a month, or almost once a week.

 

Sometimes the lack of sex is because of ongoing emotional, mental or physical issues, but the person with the problem won’t get any help. This is still refusal, as it is refusing to do what would make it possible to have sex. That doesn't mean that if your husband wants sex twice a day you therefore have to make love twice a day. Marriage is compromise. If your spouse is demanding weird or kinky sex you shouldn't have to do that. It is also an offense if the husband won’t have regular intercourse because he only wants X or Y instead. But there is a certain level of reasonableness that should be met in a marriage.

 

Refusing sex, or only making love extremely rarely, is a serious problem. Now, if you have a medical reason for this, or if you’re still recovering from psychological trauma or abuse, that’s a different category. If you are working towards recovery, and you are hoping to resume a healthy sex life, then you are working towards a healthy marriage and that’s good. if a woman has vaginismus so that sex is excrutiatingly painful, then not having sex is justified–while the problem is worked on. The problem here is not withholding sex per se; it is only if the spouse isn’t seeking help to overcome the issue, and is content to stay as they are. For instance, if it were a husband who was refusing sex because he had no sex drive and was diabetic, he should over the next month, agree to talk to a doctor about this, start taking care of his health so that obesity and diabetes were not as great issues, and find ways to show his wife love, even if sex isn’t possible yet.

 

While lack of intellect, baby-talk, immaturity, quitting a job, refusing BJ or kink aren't considered to be an offense or sin, withholding sex for whatever reason, is.

 

No wonder Donald Trump is the President of The United States!

Edited April 18, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Paragraphs

[mikeylo]

Lol. I was just curious as to how people these days think and feel. Trust me, I am a very strong woman and I am well aware of my rights.

 

If a spouse is withholding sex, or using it as a weapon, this is immediate grounds for divorce. Marriage, as set forth in legal precedent, implies that there will be sex’to withhold this is considered a divorceable offense.If one partner refuses to seek therapy or medication to help with the issue and it can be proven that the other spouse encouraged this type of healing, the case likely could be considered for an at-fault divorce. Sometimes it’s total refusal, sometimes it’s sex once a month, or almost once a week.

 

Sometimes the lack of sex is because of ongoing emotional, mental or physical issues, but the person with the problem won’t get any help. This is still refusal, as it is refusing to do what would make it possible to have sex. That doesn't mean that if your husband wants sex twice a day you therefore have to make love twice a day. Marriage is compromise. If your spouse is demanding weird or kinky sex you shouldn't have to do that. It is also an offense if the husband won’t have regular intercourse because he only wants X or Y instead. But there is a certain level of reasonableness that should be met in a marriage.

 

Refusing sex, or only making love extremely rarely, is a serious problem. Now, if you have a medical reason for this, or if you’re still recovering from psychological trauma or abuse, that’s a different category. If you are working towards recovery, and you are hoping to resume a healthy sex life, then you are working towards a healthy marriage and that’s good. if a woman has vaginismus so that sex is excrutiatingly painful, then not having sex is justified–while the problem is worked on. The problem here is not withholding sex per se; it is only if the spouse isn’t seeking help to overcome the issue, and is content to stay as they are. For instance, if it were a husband who was refusing sex because he had no sex drive and was diabetic, he should over the next month, agree to talk to a doctor about this, start taking care of his health so that obesity and diabetes were not as great issues, and find ways to show his wife love, even if sex isn’t possible yet.

 

While lack of intellect, baby-talk, immaturity, quitting a job, refusing BJ or kink aren't considered to be an offense or sin, withholding sex for whatever reason, is.

 

No wonder Donald Trump is the President of The United States!

 

I feel sorry for your husband.

[GunslingerRoland]

Why don't you try to fix your issues, rather than trying to figure out how to make you husband accommodate for them?

 

That public washroom thing is like howard hughes level insanity. I can't imagine how much that has limited your every action in your life.

[NTV]

Lol. I was just curious as to how people these days think and feel. Trust me, I am a very strong woman and I am well aware of my rights.

 

If a spouse is withholding sex, or using it as a weapon, this is immediate grounds for divorce. Marriage, as set forth in legal precedent, implies that there will be sex’to withhold this is considered a divorceable offense.If one partner refuses to seek therapy or medication to help with the issue and it can be proven that the other spouse encouraged this type of healing, the case likely could be considered for an at-fault divorce. Sometimes it’s total refusal, sometimes it’s sex once a month, or almost once a week.

 

Sometimes the lack of sex is because of ongoing emotional, mental or physical issues, but the person with the problem won’t get any help. This is still refusal, as it is refusing to do what would make it possible to have sex. That doesn't mean that if your husband wants sex twice a day you therefore have to make love twice a day. Marriage is compromise. If your spouse is demanding weird or kinky sex you shouldn't have to do that. It is also an offense if the husband won’t have regular intercourse because he only wants X or Y instead. But there is a certain level of reasonableness that should be met in a marriage.

 

Refusing sex, or only making love extremely rarely, is a serious problem. Now, if you have a medical reason for this, or if you’re still recovering from psychological trauma or abuse, that’s a different category. If you are working towards recovery, and you are hoping to resume a healthy sex life, then you are working towards a healthy marriage and that’s good. if a woman has vaginismus so that sex is excrutiatingly painful, then not having sex is justified–while the problem is worked on. The problem here is not withholding sex per se; it is only if the spouse isn’t seeking help to overcome the issue, and is content to stay as they are. For instance, if it were a husband who was refusing sex because he had no sex drive and was diabetic, he should over the next month, agree to talk to a doctor about this, start taking care of his health so that obesity and diabetes were not as great issues, and find ways to show his wife love, even if sex isn’t possible yet.

 

While lack of intellect, baby-talk, immaturity, quitting a job, refusing BJ or kink aren't considered to be an offense or sin, withholding sex for whatever reason, is.

 

No wonder Donald Trump is the President of The United States!

 

 

Let me get this right.... . You want sex, bathroom, and who knows what else your way or no way.... and when your husband is fed up with your cap during what should be the honeymoon period of your new marriage and starts to withdraw you look at his disinterest as a reason to pursue divorce?

 

I don't care how you might look or how much you might earn.... There is a limit.

 

You came here for advice on a sexual problem you're facing with your husband but seem disingenuous and disinterested in doing much of anything at your end to resolve what's become more and more apparent to be an issue you yourself are causing.

 

There are a lot of folks here from different places, ages, experiences, backgrounds. I don't think that what I've said has gotten through to you but I do hope that another poster will. I wish you the best and hope you are able to get to a better place in your marriage.

[JuneL]

I thought your hubby was the one who wanted to get a divorce?

 

And how is Donald Trump related to this thread?? :confused:

 

Lol. I was just curious as to how people these days think and feel. Trust me, I am a very strong woman and I am well aware of my rights.

 

If a spouse is withholding sex, or using it as a weapon, this is immediate grounds for divorce. Marriage, as set forth in legal precedent, implies that there will be sex’to withhold this is considered a divorceable offense.If one partner refuses to seek therapy or medication to help with the issue and it can be proven that the other spouse encouraged this type of healing, the case likely could be considered for an at-fault divorce. Sometimes it’s total refusal, sometimes it’s sex once a month, or almost once a week.

 

Sometimes the lack of sex is because of ongoing emotional, mental or physical issues, but the person with the problem won’t get any help. This is still refusal, as it is refusing to do what would make it possible to have sex. That doesn't mean that if your husband wants sex twice a day you therefore have to make love twice a day. Marriage is compromise. If your spouse is demanding weird or kinky sex you shouldn't have to do that. It is also an offense if the husband won’t have regular intercourse because he only wants X or Y instead. But there is a certain level of reasonableness that should be met in a marriage.

 

Refusing sex, or only making love extremely rarely, is a serious problem. Now, if you have a medical reason for this, or if you’re still recovering from psychological trauma or abuse, that’s a different category. If you are working towards recovery, and you are hoping to resume a healthy sex life, then you are working towards a healthy marriage and that’s good. if a woman has vaginismus so that sex is excrutiatingly painful, then not having sex is justified–while the problem is worked on. The problem here is not withholding sex per se; it is only if the spouse isn’t seeking help to overcome the issue, and is content to stay as they are. For instance, if it were a husband who was refusing sex because he had no sex drive and was diabetic, he should over the next month, agree to talk to a doctor about this, start taking care of his health so that obesity and diabetes were not as great issues, and find ways to show his wife love, even if sex isn’t possible yet.

 

While lack of intellect, baby-talk, immaturity, quitting a job, refusing BJ or kink aren't considered to be an offense or sin, withholding sex for whatever reason, is.

 

No wonder Donald Trump is the President of The United States!

[BaileyB]

Relationships shouldn't be this complicated. I hope you find what you are looking for. Good luck to you.

Edited April 18, 2017 by BaileyB

[immatureWife]

Let me get this right.... . You want sex, bathroom, and who knows what else your way or no way.... and when your husband is fed up with your cap during what should be the honeymoon period of your new marriage and starts to withdraw you look at his disinterest as a reason to pursue divorce?

 

Because I made the same post in another forum and the posters there did get through to me. My husband has no room to complain now because

 

1. I never pretended to be something that I was not.

2. He knew that I was spoiled

3. I told him repeatedly that I was bad in bed.

4. When I told him I would never give him a BJ, and that I was terrible in bed, and also about my romantic sexual preferences, he is the one who should have revealed to me just how much he was into porn, masturbation and kink. He admits now that he has been a porn and masturbation addict.

5. When I told him I would need a separate bathroom, he should have realized just to what extent I was spoiled. However, he doesn't have any complain about me having my own bathroom.

6. I also told him repeatedly just how much I hated working and that I would rather pursue something like painting before we tied the knot. He said it was okay (again, that was before we tied the knot) as long as I kept myself busy with something, like painting (which he admired and encouraged before we got married, not anymore though after the marriage). Not that I needed his permission to quit something that made me so miserable, but I still waited until he said that it was okay to quit.

7. I was under the impression that he was also having a good time when he stayed up all night to watch movies. It was during the early stages of our marriage. He pretended to be having a good time. It wasn't like I forced him to or anything. The moment I realized he wasn't liking it I stopped.

 

I was really surprised when he proposed to me even after I revealed all my quirks and traits and just how bitchy I can be and to what extent. Now I have no idea and I keep asking him whatever gave him the impression that I am a mature woman.

 

You came here for advice on a sexual problem you're facing with your husband but seem disingenuous and disinterested in doing much of anything at your end to resolve what's become more and more apparent to be an issue you yourself are causing.

 

Seriously? I seem disingenuous and disinterested in doing much of anything at my end? Trust me when I say that the girl he married would never compromise or try to change herself just to please someone else. And yet, not only am I trying to change my behavior, but also my personality - to the extent that I feel suffocated. I put on a fake smile even when he says something that deeply hurts me (man, my ex-wife looked remarkable at times), I actually ask him to call me a whore and talk dirty, I have stopped the baby talk, I also asked him today if having pets like turtles and cats was immature and if I should get rid of them. I asked a cousin for advise and she suggested that I should act all mature infront of him, and be my fun loving self with them to relieve the stress.

 

As for your suggestions, they are deeply appreciated. I had tried some even before you suggested them in this thread (examples: sending a sexy text, wearing sexy lingerie, etc, etc) - doesn't work. And when they don't work I feel more frustrated and rejected.

 

Of course I want this marriage to work and I don't want a second divorce. But I just feel so angry and rejected. My confidence has been totally shattered. So finally I thought to myself - wait a minute. I think I have done enough. And maybe I yelled at him a number of times, but I have tried to make amends. So who cares what others think as long as I know that I have been honest and truthful and I have tried to the best of my ability. I shouldn't have to explain myself to anyone. If you think I am a bitch, yes, I am one, and I can't help it. So thank you all for your suggestions. Wish you all all the best. Thank you and goodbye.

[NTV]

Because I made the same post in another forum and the posters there did get through to me. My husband has no room to complain now because

 

1. I never pretended to be something that I was not.

2. He knew that I was spoiled

3. I told him repeatedly that I was bad in bed.

4. When I told him I would never give him a BJ, and that I was terrible in bed, and also about my romantic sexual preferences, he is the one who should have revealed to me just how much he was into porn, masturbation and kink. He admits now that he has been a porn and masturbation addict.

5. When I told him I would need a separate bathroom, he should have realized just to what extent I was spoiled. However, he doesn't have any complain about me having my own bathroom.

6. I also told him repeatedly just how much I hated working and that I would rather pursue something like painting before we tied the knot. He said it was okay (again, that was before we tied the knot) as long as I kept myself busy with something, like painting (which he admired and encouraged before we got married, not anymore though after the marriage). Not that I needed his permission to quit something that made me so miserable, but I still waited until he said that it was okay to quit.

7. I was under the impression that he was also having a good time when he stayed up all night to watch movies. It was during the early stages of our marriage. He pretended to be having a good time. It wasn't like I forced him to or anything. The moment I realized he wasn't liking it I stopped.

 

I was really surprised when he proposed to me even after I revealed all my quirks and traits and just how bitchy I can be and to what extent. Now I have no idea and I keep asking him whatever gave him the impression that I am a mature woman.

 

 

 

Seriously? I seem disingenuous and disinterested in doing much of anything at my end? Trust me when I say that the girl he married would never compromise or try to change herself just to please someone else. And yet, not only am I trying to change my behavior, but also my personality - to the extent that I feel suffocated. I put on a fake smile even when he says something that deeply hurts me (man, my ex-wife looked remarkable at times), I actually ask him to call me a whore and talk dirty, I have stopped the baby talk, I also asked him today if having pets like turtles and cats was immature and if I should get rid of them. I asked a cousin for advise and she suggested that I should act all mature infront of him, and be my fun loving self with them to relieve the stress.

 

As for your suggestions, they are deeply appreciated. I had tried some even before you suggested them in this thread (examples: sending a sexy text, wearing sexy lingerie, etc, etc) - doesn't work. And when they don't work I feel more frustrated and rejected.

 

Of course I want this marriage to work and I don't want a second divorce. But I just feel so angry and rejected. My confidence has been totally shattered. So finally I thought to myself - wait a minute. I think I have done enough. And maybe I yelled at him a number of times, but I have tried to make amends. So who cares what others think as long as I know that I have been honest and truthful and I have tried to the best of my ability. I shouldn't have to explain myself to anyone. If you think I am a bitch, yes, I am one, and I can't help it. So thank you all for your suggestions. Wish you all all the best. Thank you and goodbye.

 

See now.... that's information that I could have used from the get go. It's really difficult to provide meaningful advice on a snapshot. If you had said all this from the get go, I don't think I would have given you the same advice.

 

So can you provide an even fuller picture? For example if you aren't working-- what are you doing all day? In my mind that MIGHT give you time to dwell on things that shouldn't be dwelt upon. (This is an example)

[immatureWife]

See now.... that's information that I could have used from the get go. It's really difficult to provide meaningful advice on a snapshot. If you had said all this from the get go, I don't think I would have given you the same advice.

 

So can you provide an even fuller picture? For example if you aren't working-- what are you doing all day? In my mind that MIGHT give you time to dwell on things that shouldn't be dwelt upon. (This is an example)

 

I mentioned this in a previous post how I keep myself busy. I try to pursue something new. Maybe try out a new recipe, decorate the house, fix stuff around the house, fix hubbies computer, etc, etc.

 

Right now I am into photography. I have downloaded several books on photography that I am reading and videos on youtube that I have been watching. I am also turning one of the rooms at my place and one of the rooms at our place into a studio so I can do indoor photography. I enter my pictures into challenges and contests.

 

Recently I took a trip to a nice place (6 hours bus ride) and also took my mother with me because she never really gets to go anywhere and I thought would enjoy a trip like this. When I saw how beautiful the place was, I asked hubby to join me because photography is his hobby too. Actually he is the one who got me interested in photography. He spent the day with me and and said afterward that he had a really good time.

 

And my mother recently got sick and had to be hospitalized, so I also had to take care of her.

 

So this is basically what I have been doing lately.

[mikeylo]

Re read your entire thread. No wonder he doesn't like you.

[immatureWife]

Re read your entire thread. No wonder he doesn't like you.

 

Haha well said. Well, he is a free man you know. If he doesn't like me, he should really let me go rather than emotionally torture me. As for me, I am trying to make this marriage work because I love him, but I explicitly told him that if he has fallen out of love and doesn't want me anymore, he is free to go.

[mikeylo]

Haha well said. Well, he is a free man you know. If he doesn't like me, he should really let me go rather than emotionally torture me. As for me, I am trying to make this marriage work because I love him, but I explicitly told him that if he has fallen out of love and doesn't want me anymore, he is free to go.

 

Let's put it this way.

 

You love him but he isn't happy with you. If you love someone, set them free. YOU initiate and make him happy for once. He will thank you forever.

[Spring23]

Because I made the same post in another forum and the posters there did get through to me. My husband has no room to complain now because

 

1. I never pretended to be something that I was not.

2. He knew that I was spoiled

3. I told him repeatedly that I was bad in bed.

4. When I told him I would never give him a BJ, and that I was terrible in bed, and also about my romantic sexual preferences, he is the one who should have revealed to me just how much he was into porn, masturbation and kink. He admits now that he has been a porn and masturbation addict.

5. When I told him I would need a separate bathroom, he should have realized just to what extent I was spoiled. However, he doesn't have any complain about me having my own bathroom.

6. I also told him repeatedly just how much I hated working and that I would rather pursue something like painting before we tied the knot. He said it was okay (again, that was before we tied the knot) as long as I kept myself busy with something, like painting (which he admired and encouraged before we got married, not anymore though after the marriage). Not that I needed his permission to quit something that made me so miserable, but I still waited until he said that it was okay to quit.

7. I was under the impression that he was also having a good time when he stayed up all night to watch movies. It was during the early stages of our marriage. He pretended to be having a good time. It wasn't like I forced him to or anything. The moment I realized he wasn't liking it I stopped.

 

I was really surprised when he proposed to me even after I revealed all my quirks and traits and just how bitchy I can be and to what extent. Now I have no idea and I keep asking him whatever gave him the impression that I am a mature woman.

 

 

You did label YOURSELF as being immature which sounds like you do view yourself as immature.

 

I don't know you. Maybe your parents did spoil you and maybe you have some issues regarding germs and so that stops you from doing certain acts.

 

If you do see a therapist they'll probably tell you that you exhibit BPD traits which you can choose to believe or not.

 

In any case, would you like to become more mature?

[immatureWife]

If you do see a therapist they'll probably tell you that you exhibit BPD traits which you can choose to believe or not.

 

Yes, I have seen a therapist today and he tells me that forums like this are very unhealthy which tend to confuse you out of your mind. So this is what I am getting from the forum replies:

 

1. You should try to work on becoming more mature

2. An immature person can never grow up and become mature

3. It is not you, it is him

4. It is not him, it is you

5. You should work on your marriage

6. You should let your husband go

7. Your husband has no room to complain now

8. If I were your husband I would have left you

9. It is good to take extended break from work if you can afford to and pursue a hobby

10. You quit your job and you are a terrible person.

11. Your husband was wrong to have slapped you and called you names

12. Can you role play and become his whore in bed from time to time?

 

Yeah so the therapist says that I was fine, but after making this post I have gone nuts and began showing BPD symptoms. And I could make much better use of my time than spend time making posts in forums that confuse the hell out of you.

Edited April 22, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language ~T

[stillafool]

Yes, I have seen a therapist today and he tells me that forums like this are very unhealthy which tend to confuse you out of your mind. So this is what I am getting from the forum replies:

 

1. You should try to work on becoming more mature

2. An immature person can never grow up and become mature

3. It is not you, it is him

4. It is not him, it is you

5. You should work on your marriage

6. You should let your husband go

7. Your husband has no room to complain now

8. If I were your husband I would have left you

9. It is good to take extended break from work if you can afford to and pursue a hobby

10. You quit your job and you are a terrible person.

11. Your husband was wrong to have slapped you and called you names

12. Can you role play and become his whore in bed from time to time?

 

Yeah so the therapist says that I was fine, but after making this post I have gone nuts and began showing BPD symptoms. And I could make much better use of my time than spend time making posts in forums that confuse the hell out of you.

 

Good you figured that out.

Edited April 22, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language ~T

[Spring23]

Yeah so the therapist says that I was fine, but after making this post I have gone nuts and began showing BPD symptoms. And I could make much better use of my time than spend time making posts in forums that confuse the hell out of you.

 

Then you should take a social media break. If you're fragile right now then forums can be horrible. You'll get some nice support but the bad might override the good.

 

Talk to people who know you face-to-face in real life. They will be able to guide you better.

 

Only use social media when you're more regulated and can blow off nasty comments easy.

[olivetree]

IW,

 

I don't think you should change unless you want to.

You're right, you didn't trick him into being with you.

You've always been yourself and now he has decided he doesn't like it.

 

I think you're just not a match.

And with your particular quirks, it might be more difficult for you to find a compatible partner than the average person, and that's okay.

I think there is someone out there that will accept your quirks.

Doesn't sound like it's going to be your current husband.

And there's things about him that don't work for you, so don't forget that part!

 

Now all that said, of course there are always things you can work on to be a better person, like being less bitchy, compromising as best you can, that sort of thing.

 

Please don't listen to the nasty comments.

You don't deserve them.