9 months later

[small_hand_of_power]

It feels so dumb even posting anyone here because we have all gone through it and everyone else has gone through it, or will go through it eventually. I just want to talk I suppose.

 

Gf and I broke up 9 months ago. It was a long time coming, I should've seen it coming but I didn't.

 

I still think about her everyday and it is definitely not good for me, but it is also impossible for me not to do. We both live in the same town we grew up in still, (21 and 20 respectively) and I have to drive past her boyfriends house to get to work. Sure there is a way around but its like a 15 minute detour. I've tried to train myself not to look at the house/cars in front of it when I go to work but sometimes curiosity gets the better of me.

 

Even when I try to rationalize with myself, don't look, there's is no point to looking, her being there and her being not there will give you the same exact results. Nothing.

 

When will I stop thinking of her everyday? What will it take?

 

I thought it would take getting another girlfriend, nope, I ended up breaking up with her because I couldn't get my mind off my ex.

 

sorry if this is all so stupid. I just want to get over this so like, I can move on.

[Altair0770]

Take the detour.

[Pete2304]

You say you knew it was coming, on what grounds?

[Pete2304]

You say you knew it was coming, on what grounds?

[small_hand_of_power]

You say you knew it was coming, on what grounds?

 

Something MAJOR happened about 4 months prior to the break up. It was a fight between a family member of mine and her. We were both living at my parents house at the time,(1)as a result of the fight she ended up moving out and grew increasingly distant towards me. This tension between her and my family member began to de-escalate over the course of that 4 months, until an explosion happened where they got into a confrontation.

 

I suggested we break up, because the last 4 months really sucked and it was looking like we were going to have to go through all that hassle and problems again. I said this offhandedly but she agreed and she ended up actually breaking up with me a few minutes later.

 

So to answer your question of why I should've seen it coming is because we probably should've broken up from the offset, but it just seemed to wrong and backwards to break up over something that was completely neither of our faults, and we still loved each other, so we stayed together.

 

 

(1)

It may seem weird that we both lived at my parents house but thats kind of just what ended up happening, it wasn't planned. I got back from a vacation about 2 months into our relationship and she just literally never left my house and ended up living there with us. My parents loved her so they were ok with it.

Edited April 16, 2017 by small_hand_of_power

[Pete2304]

It sounds like that incident was too much for any relationship to survive especially considering you already had your suspicions things weren't going to work in the long term.

 

I know it hurts but there's a difference between a relationship ending that you can't explain and one you knew was screwed deep down.

 

The only advice I can give from experience is accepting that at some point it was going to end and from what you've said you knew that. So all you can do is be glad and smile about the memories but if it was doomed to fail you were fighting an impossible battle. Maybe you shouldn't have had that conversation with her that night but at some point she would have left anyway. Things honestly do get better, you might always miss her but the pain does fade I promise.

[small_hand_of_power]

It sounds like that incident was too much for any relationship to survive especially considering you already had your suspicions things weren't going to work in the long term.

 

I know it hurts but there's a difference between a relationship ending that you can't explain and one you knew was screwed deep down.

 

The only advice I can give from experience is accepting that at some point it was going to end and from what you've said you knew that. So all you can do is be glad and smile about the memories but if it was doomed to fail you were fighting an impossible battle. Maybe you shouldn't have had that conversation with her that night but at some point she would have left anyway. Things honestly do get better, you might always miss her but the pain does fade I promise.

 

thank you for your extremely genuine response. it really does mean a lot and what you say makes a lot of sense. i know it will be gone once i finally leave his town.