What is the "cheater script" after discovery?

[Furious]

- Me too! I've often wondered how the BS cannot know her H has partially checked out of the relationship. Surely the BS must see the communication gaps? -even if they are still having 'their few times a month duty sex.' Or, maybe it is- that they don't want to see, cause if they do, then it means they have a problem that has to be addressed that they don't wish to fix?

 

Cheaters are good at using decoy excuses, often it's complaining about being overworked, stressed out and tired. The easiest person to fool is the person who trusts you the most. It's ironic that the affair partner knows for a fact they're with a deceptive person but yet seem befuddled that a trusting spouse is not suspicious.

 

Most cheaters use work and work travel to conduct their double life. Most cheaters call their spouse and check in with them while away on business. The weaving of normality while being deceitful is intentional. The gas lighting is part and parcel before and after discovery.

[wmacbride]

- Me too! I've often wondered how the BS cannot know her H has partially checked out of the relationship. Surely the BS must see the communication gaps? -even if they are still having 'their few times a month duty sex.' Or, maybe it is- that they don't want to see, cause if they do, then it means they have a problem that has to be addressed that they don't wish to fix?

 

I'm always surprised that an ow or om, wh believes the lies their mm/mw tells, is so shocked when a bs believes them too.

[Chica80]

I'm always surprised that an ow or om, wh believes the lies their mm/mw tells, is so shocked when a bs believes them too.

 

I guess because I can only speak to my circumstances no one elses.

 

But when my A started, I was married. It was much more exit A than anything else. I told xH I was done. He wanted to wrk on marriage. I said no. I told him there was someone else. If he wanted to work on things then he should know that. And although I wasn't leaving to be with AP he should know that.

 

For me there is no way I could go be with someone else. Talk share of myself, then come home and continue life as normal. There is just no way.

 

I guess that is the part I have difficulty understanding. I couldn't say I love my spouse don't want to ruin my marriage, yet go and spend time put time into another relationship.

 

Because regardless if you believe it is "real" or not. You are taking from one and giving to another.