William Posted April 19, 2017 Share Posted April 19, 2017 William if I may... What we have here is a situation where the OP came in and threw a big stone in a quiet pool. I believe she meant this to be a provocative thread, and her underlying desire to get the rest of us to justify her behavior. Well she has not been back for several days now, and some good members have ended up being banned due to the *****storm she initiated. I recommend you close the thread until she comes back and answers some of the questions put to her. If you wish to contact moderation, do it privately. Our instructions are clear and posted twice in this thread. Any further public discussion will result in permanent removal from LoveShack.org. Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted April 19, 2017 Share Posted April 19, 2017 William if I may... What we have here is a situation where the OP came in and threw a big stone in a quiet pool. I believe she meant this to be a provocative thread, and her underlying desire to get the rest of us to justify her behavior. Well she has not been back for several days now, and some good members have ended up being banned due to the *****storm she initiated. I recommend you close the thread until she comes back and answers some of the questions put to her. If you wish to contact moderation, do it privately. Our instructions are clear and posted twice in this thread. Any further public discussion of moderation action will result in permanent removal from LoveShack.org. No one has been so removed, yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Hi Folks, seems to me to be a case of collateral damage more than anything else. I tend to agree with Oldshirt's assessment of the situation. In cases such as these it would be good to get both sides of the story and I am sure the BS would have a completely different story to tell were he here. Just some food for thought. Warm wishes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
seren Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 For what it is worth, it isn't 'just' BS who stop seeing their children when a marriage ends. My XH stopped seeing his son when we split up (no affair), my boy was jut 4 and he just stepped away leaving a very sad, very confused little boy who took ages to adjust. My son is now 33 and still, at times and when a little worse for wear will ask what he had done to make his father not want him. Breaks my heart, thank goodness for my husband who came into our lives and became the Dad my son needed, they love each other to bits. There is absolutely no excuse for anyone effectively abandoning their child, marriages break down all the time and good parents put their differences aside to ensure the children are as affected as little as possible. I would also say that either parent should be careful when introducing the new partner and not introduce casual lovers, wait until they are sure it is going to be a long term relationship as that too hurts little people if it breaks up. If you do split because of an affair, try to not bad mouth the other parent, children should be protected at all costs, not staying in a bad relationship, that doesn't help anyone, but ensuring the relationship with the child is maintained should be the goal of everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I don't see where this guy has abandoned the kids. He's providing income. He's calling and communicating with them. He'll come back around once things cool off. If she wants relief, she needs to file for divorce and cite abandonment if it makes her feel better. The judge will laugh her out of the courtroom, but she can try. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I don't know if it's been stated but one of the side effects of my wife's cheating was that I needed to dna test my kids. That's a hard thing for a loving father to wrap his head around. Could be he's fighting that too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zenstudent Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 You ask why he is trying to punish the kids. Probably for the same reason you tried to punish them, he's being selfish for a while. Or he's trying to spare them the pain of seeing their father lose it. You also ask how you should deal with it . You deal with it the way a BS needs to deal with their shjt, you accept that you can't change other people, and then you do the best you can for your self and your kids. Simple, and yet so difficult sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
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