Just a Guy Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 Hi Broken, good to know you will be spending quality time with your kids. Yes, your brain knows its over because all our brains are hardwired. Our hearts on the other hand are soft wired. The heart is the wellspring of emotions and your heart has been dealt a deadly blow. It is still reeling and considering it is a softie, it will take time for it to get it's new bearings. However, this too shall pass. As the old World War 2 Army Engineers motto used to go "When the going gets tough the tough get going". Just remember you are tougher than you think. Warm wishes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 You are enjoying the family vacation. The only one missing out is your WW. Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 Even though the court won't order a maternal blood sample DNA test you and your STBX could agree to do the test privately just so you'd both know. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
WilyWill Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 Even though the court won't order a maternal blood sample DNA test you and your STBX could agree to do the test privately just so you'd both know. I would expect her to be just as curious as her husband. She might have done it already, but is just evil enough to drag it out by withholding the results. Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 When we are in such a stressful, vulnerable state our minds play tricks on us to help us cope. We filter out the bad memories and seem to only remember how good life was with our spouse/SO. We even imagine things much better, happier than they actually were in order to lure ourselves back into that safe, comfortable relationship. People have a hard time facing the truth and doing what's best for them. It takes insight and courage. You seem to have plenty of both at this time so see your longing memories for what they are. Bull$hit. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted August 1, 2017 Share Posted August 1, 2017 When we are in such a stressful, vulnerable state our minds play tricks on us to help us cope. We filter out the bad memories and seem to only remember how good life was with our spouse/SO. We even imagine things much better, happier than they actually were in order to lure ourselves back into that safe, comfortable relationship. People have a hard time facing the truth and doing what's best for them. It takes insight and courage. You seem to have plenty of both at this time so see your longing memories for what they are. Bull$hit. Yeah, we just wish it wasn't bull****. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Superchicken Posted August 1, 2017 Share Posted August 1, 2017 That's great to see your moving forward. Its just a matter of time before you find someone else. Its inevitable.. Just like tax's.. Hey, one upside.. You can fart when ever you want now... Ted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rose.1977 Posted August 7, 2017 Share Posted August 7, 2017 I am sorry but if she cheated on you just for money, gifts..what the fu..? its hard but I think you deserve better! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrokenMan87 Posted August 26, 2017 Author Share Posted August 26, 2017 A huge update. First, I want to say, I miss my kids while they are with their mother for vacation. I worked a lot of over time during this time. Second... My wife relented and we got an prenatal DNA testing done. Good News... I'm NOT THE FATHER... Bad News... My kids. How do I explain this to them. And how do I deal with the felon in the picture? I have contacted my lawyer and hoping to hear back from him on Monday to figure out what to expect going forward. As of right now, I don't believe the felon is in the picture. I've been keeping close eyes on the wife. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted August 26, 2017 Share Posted August 26, 2017 A huge update. First, I want to say, I miss my kids while they are with their mother for vacation. I worked a lot of over time during this time. Second... My wife relented and we got an prenatal DNA testing done. Good News... I'm NOT THE FATHER... Bad News... My kids. How do I explain this to them. And how do I deal with the felon in the picture? I have contacted my lawyer and hoping to hear back from him on Monday to figure out what to expect going forward. As of right now, I don't believe the felon is in the picture. I've been keeping close eyes on the wife. How did you get your WW to agree to take the test? What was her response to you not being the father? Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted August 26, 2017 Share Posted August 26, 2017 A huge update. First, I want to say, I miss my kids while they are with their mother for vacation. I worked a lot of over time during this time. Second... My wife relented and we got an prenatal DNA testing done. Good News... I'm NOT THE FATHER... Bad News... My kids. How do I explain this to them. And how do I deal with the felon in the picture? I have contacted my lawyer and hoping to hear back from him on Monday to figure out what to expect going forward. As of right now, I don't believe the felon is in the picture. I've been keeping close eyes on the wife. So, what was her response to the results of the test? Do you think she actually knows whether the felon or the rich guy is the father? Did she happen to mention her plan as to whether to go after them for child support? Very interesting turn of events for you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrokenMan87 Posted August 26, 2017 Author Share Posted August 26, 2017 There is no possibility that the Rich Man is the father. Their affair ended long before she could have possibly gotten pregnant. She was so upset and of course took it out on me. She prevented two nights in a row my night face time. Which legally I can't do anything about. I did talk the kids today, the first time since I found out the results. My oldest knows about the baby, but from our brief conversation, she has no idea about the results which is good. I hope the wife can stop crying long enough for us to discuss. How it came to be was, I had made it clear that I wasn't supporting and I hadn't done anything for her during this pregnancy, where with our four children, I had done everything for her, bought her everything she needed. She finally said she wanted to know because if this was my child I had to support her. To Add: Last I heard the felon doesn't have a job. So not sure if she'll get any support out of him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 Great news in a way. Bad news in other ways. Your kids need to know that you are not the baby's father. Them seeing that you take no interest in the child will turn them against you. They need to know why. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 Agreed. Kids are smarter than you think. They know who the screwed up parent is. They know who the righteous parent is. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 There is no possibility that the Rich Man is the father. Their affair ended long before she could have possibly gotten pregnant. She was so upset and of course took it out on me. She prevented two nights in a row my night face time. Which legally I can't do anything about. I did talk the kids today, the first time since I found out the results. My oldest knows about the baby, but from our brief conversation, she has no idea about the results which is good. I hope the wife can stop crying long enough for us to discuss. How it came to be was, I had made it clear that I wasn't supporting and I hadn't done anything for her during this pregnancy, where with our four children, I had done everything for her, bought her everything she needed. She finally said she wanted to know because if this was my child I had to support her. To Add: Last I heard the felon doesn't have a job. So not sure if she'll get any support out of him. There were two OM's. The Rich OM and the Felon OM. How did I miss the Rich one? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 There were two OM's. The Rich OM and the Felon OM. How did I miss the Rich one? YOU didn't read the very first post. . I found out on March 3rd that she has been cheating on me with a man 10 years older than me. He makes more money than I, owns his own business and has no children and never been married. He is a bachelor and enjoys flinging his money around to catch unsuspecting women. He has spent well over 10,000.00 on my wife in the last 6 months.. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrokenMan87 Posted September 7, 2017 Author Share Posted September 7, 2017 So my oldest daughter knows the truth and is handling it relatively well. She asked me who the father is. Her mom originally told her about being pregnant, and me not being the father, but not who. I told her I thought the "felon" was the father. She said "oh". I asked what she meant about her reaction. She said that the felon wouldn't be a good father because when he was around he never helped out, was either sleeping on the couch or playing on his phone. I also found out that my wife is dating again. I did have added to the custody order that neither she or I can move in a member of the opposite sex until we had been dating for one year, or if the other one mutually agrees. Anyway my daughter pointed out that Mom has been talking to a man named "David" (not his real name) and that they have hanged out as "friends" for a few weeks now. She hasn't met him, but says my soon to be ex wife has told her they hanged out a few times and are only friends and if anything changes she'd let me know. There isn't much I can do now unless she brings this man around my children. I'm keeping a close eye but so far nothing is a huge red flag. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 So my oldest daughter knows the truth and is handling it relatively well. She asked me who the father is. Her mom originally told her about being pregnant, and me not being the father, but not who. I told her I thought the "felon" was the father. She said "oh". I asked what she meant about her reaction. She said that the felon wouldn't be a good father because when he was around he never helped out, was either sleeping on the couch or playing on his phone. I also found out that my wife is dating again. I did have added to the custody order that neither she or I can move in a member of the opposite sex until we had been dating for one year, or if the other one mutually agrees. Anyway my daughter pointed out that Mom has been talking to a man named "David" (not his real name) and that they have hanged out as "friends" for a few weeks now. She hasn't met him, but says my soon to be ex wife has told her they hanged out a few times and are only friends and if anything changes she'd let me know. There isn't much I can do now unless she brings this man around my children. I'm keeping a close eye but so far nothing is a huge red flag. Unenforceable Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrokenMan87 Posted September 7, 2017 Author Share Posted September 7, 2017 Unenforceable Maybe so, but my wife is under the impression that it is. Also it's all ready on public record that she moved in a felon, so I could use it if I need too to show bad judgement. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Unenforceable Not in our state. If the court orders state no unrelated adult members of the opposite sex in the home while the children are in residence, which is the common phrasing here, violating that order usually results in the judge revisiting the custody arrangements and sometimes charging the violator with contempt of court for failure to comply with a court order. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted September 11, 2017 Share Posted September 11, 2017 I also found out that my wife is dating again. I did have added to the custody order that neither she or I can move in a member of the opposite sex until we had been dating for one year, or if the other one mutually agrees. No state in the US will recognize this condition. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted September 11, 2017 Share Posted September 11, 2017 No state in the US will recognize this condition. Not true. Not always granted though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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