Do online things normally still have it when they meet ?

[Chilli]

Just wondering what sort of percentage of online things actually still have it after they meet and in RL, even marry later?

 

There probably aren't any numbers or stats but it'd be great to get some sort of an idea seems so many people end up meeting somebody like that these days.

 

Anyone got any idea ?

[BearwithMe]

well yes online dating is possible in real life and yes again it does lead to real relationships..for some..ive been in OLD for years well on and off anyway as its just my way of destressing but somehow i met few peoplpe worth talking to and i did fell for someone online as well..few people get lucky tho but anyway it always depends on both person if they wanna make it work then each should do their part..if its good to have one online..would it be better to have them for real and meet them,spend time with them..online dating is a good start anyway of trying to get to know the person.it may not work for everybody but hey its worth trying..as long as both just be open and honest then its a good start and maybe even worth continuing.

Edited April 17, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Formatting ~6

[FoundLove]

If you're serious about meeting someone online, honesty is key.

 

I met my husband on an online dating website. While chatting we were both truthful with one another, so when we did finally meet there were absolutely no surprises. We simply continued our online dating in real life and we've been together now for 4 years and married for 3.

[Chilli]

What about long distance OL.

Although that could be another thread, dunno.

 

But l wonder how many Long distance things work out when they actually meet ?

 

 

ps , good for you btw FL and all the best for the future.

[Altair0770]

I don't think there are any statistics, nor are they relevant. What only really matters is you and your partner and if you guys are willing to make it work.

 

And yes, honesty is KEY. Especially in a long distance relationship. I trusted a woman I met over a year ago on a video game. She was all over me, couldn't go a day without texting me. Told me a few things that made her nervous. I thought, "sure okay". Turns out she has severe PTSD, and didn't tell me until 3 months after I visited her and triggered her.

 

Guess how that turned out? Hint: There's a reason I am on LS

 

 

Honestly, I'd never do it again. Don't meet someone online having already fallen head over heels for them. Red flags that are invisible when dating online and start popping up the second it becomes real.

 

My biggest regret in the whole relationship was falling very hard for her before I even met her in person. Most people that meet online in LDR are really looking for that fantasy over that reality.

[Titanll]

Are you doing a research paper or are you asking because you have a personal interest?

 

I'm not sure if I understand. OLD is online introduction. I'm sure there are plenty of online introductions that seem great and quickly head south on the first date. This, of course, can happen regardless of how two people meet.

 

If we are talking about having some great barrier between two people and over the course of days/weeks/months, some relationship develops online and when the two people finally meet they find that the attraction is no longer there...sure, that is possible.

 

Probably best to use your noggin and realize that you aren't dating online. Ever.

 

If you are developing feelings for someone that you never met in person you are more than likely setting yourself up for getting hurt. Guess what, that isn't the fault of any online dating service.

[Popsicle]

What kind of online are we talking about? If you're talking about OLD people who are local, there shouldn't be much time at all that passes before you meet in person, so you will transition to RL very quickly and there will be no wondering if you still have "it". If you're talking about meeting people online who live far away, then you aren't really seeing each other or dating really. You're just talking and building up a fantasy. It's not real, IMO, until you are "real" and spending all your time together in person. So yes, there's the possibility that it won't transition to RL or be the same in those situations. For some people it does work out, but it's a risk that I'm not willing to take.

[Silverstring]

What about long distance OL.

Although that could be another thread, dunno.

 

But l wonder how many Long distance things work out when they actually meet ?

 

 

ps , good for you btw FL and all the best for the future.

 

I only had one long distance relationship and it started online, but didn't work out. We met after about 3 months and there were a lot things we didn't discuss that once we did, we realized we weren't really compatible.

[Chilli]

Ahh,my fault. l should've been more specific in the title.

Mainly interested in the long distance things.

Because of the internet these days so many people seem to be meeting someone online that are god knows where.

lt's very common now l've been in one 14mths myself . When we finally met in person things were still much the same and just as strong.

Although there are other problems though and l don't think sadly it's gonna be able to work out.

 

But nope , no study or anything , l've just been reading stuff about it for 12mths or so now and about others stories.

It's been a mixed bag out there but many have gone on to move countries or marry later on.

l guess because l've lived it my self l've sorta developed a bit of a fascination for it tbh.

 

One couple l was reading about it took them 5yrs, 5 yrs , to finally actually meet in person.

That was 15yrs ago when he was telling the story and they were still married and had a family. She moved over 12mths after they finally met in person and they got married soon after.

Amazing stuff.

 

Still no idea how often they have a happy ending though.

Edited April 17, 2017 by Chilli

[Els]

Yeah, it does happen and sometimes it works out. It worked for us (long distance for 2 years before we closed the distance), and for a few other couples I know. Of course, it didn't work for others - but I'd think the % of things working out is probably similar to RL dating. I mean, you can see how many of THOSE don't work out from browsing the other subsections. The difference is just that LDRs take more investment so it's a bigger risk if things don't work out - you would have invested months and thousands of dollars, as opposed to a few weeks and a few meals.

 

As a caveat, NONE of the couples I know who worked out, met via OLD. They did meet online... but not through OLD sites. I think the very nature of OLD, of how it focuses on quantity, is antithetical to making a true LDR work. Nobody enters a LDR (at least, not any genuine one) by signing up to OLD and specifically searching for someone on the other side of the world. You'd be daft to do that. It happens when people meet organically, on a forum or a game or a hobby/lifestyle site, and talk and hit it off.

[central]

I met about 50 out of roughly 1000 contacts (where we exchanged at least a few emails - not counting one-offs). Of the 50, I had short term relationships with 5, longer relationships with another 5, and one of those I eventually married. Those that didn't lead to any further dating just didn't inspire any chemistry, so about 40 of the 50 were one-time meets.

 

 

Half of my 50 meets were long distance (which I'll define as being at least 1 hour away by car), most of the short term relationships were close by, and all of the longer relationships were an hour or more away - it just happened that my best matches were farther, unfortunately.

[Gr8fuln2020]

...- it just happened that my best matches were farther, unfortunately.

 

Yah, doesn't it seem that way.

 

Longevity of character...that is, if you can live up to your profile hype and be authentic, your chances are best.

[Chilli]

Yeah, it does happen and sometimes it works out. It worked for us (long distance for 2 years before we closed the distance), and for a few other couples I know. Of course, it didn't work for others - but I'd think the % of things working out is probably similar to RL dating. I mean, you can see how many of THOSE don't work out from browsing the other subsections. The difference is just that LDRs take more investment so it's a bigger risk if things don't work out - you would have invested months and thousands of dollars, as opposed to a few weeks and a few meals.

 

As a caveat, NONE of the couples I know who worked out, met via OLD. They did meet online... but not through OLD sites. I think the very nature of OLD, of how it focuses on quantity, is antithetical to making a true LDR work. Nobody enters a LDR (at least, not any genuine one) by signing up to OLD and specifically searching for someone on the other side of the world. You'd be daft to do that. It happens when people meet organically, on a forum or a game or a hobby/lifestyle site, and talk and hit it off.

 

 

Yeah , exactly how we met, ln a way it was just like the RL thing - when you least expected it you just come across each other and hit it off.

Ours was in a divorce forum of all places , last thing we expected.

Sadly ours isn't gonna workout but strangely it's not because of the LD , well sort of not , we had that worked out.

But things about her personality side , admittedly they would have shown much much sooner and been much more in my face if we'd actually met in real life though. So in that way it is bc of the LD .

 

How long have you guys been together now ?

Really nice to hear anyway and about the people you know too .

[Chilli]

I met about 50 out of roughly 1000 contacts (where we exchanged at least a few emails - not counting one-offs). Of the 50, I had short term relationships with 5, longer relationships with another 5, and one of those I eventually married. Those that didn't lead to any further dating just didn't inspire any chemistry, so about 40 of the 50 were one-time meets.

 

 

Half of my 50 meets were long distance (which I'll define as being at least 1 hour away by car), most of the short term relationships were close by, and all of the longer relationships were an hour or more away - it just happened that my best matches were farther, unfortunately.

 

Thanks for that central , so you guys still married ?

 

When l was on a date site same thing , my best were at least 2 or 3hours but some were intestate .

Funny, if l ended up back on a date site or whatever and met someone on the other side of the country now, that'll seem like around the corner these days, after dealing with the other side of the world all this time.

Ha,it'd just feel like a little drive or a quick plane trip now, luxury

Edited April 18, 2017 by Chilli

[curiouslysearching]

Thanks for that central , so you guys still married ?

 

When l was on a date site same thing , my best were at least 2 or 3hours but some were intestate .

Funny, if l ended up back on a date site or whatever and met someone on the other side of the country now, that'll seem like around the corner these days, after dealing with the other side of the world all this time.

Ha,it'd just feel like a little drive or a quick plane trip now, luxury

 

my suggestion would be to NEVER LET ANYTHING (distance, time) ever

deter you from being with someone you truly want to be with....where

matters of the heart are concerned, there will always be a WAY

[Els]

Yeah , exactly how we met, ln a way it was just like the RL thing - when you least expected it you just come across each other and hit it off.

Ours was in a divorce forum of all places , last thing we expected.

Sadly ours isn't gonna workout but strangely it's not because of the LD , well sort of not , we had that worked out.

But things about her personality side , admittedly they would have shown much much sooner and been much more in my face if we'd actually met in real life though. So in that way it is bc of the LD .

 

How long have you guys been together now ?

Really nice to hear anyway and about the people you know too .

 

8+ years.

 

One of the couples I know who worked out (they have 2 kids now) met on LS.

[coolheadal]

Just wondering what sort of percentage of online things actually still have it after they meet and in RL, even marry later?

 

There probably aren't any numbers or stats but it'd be great to get some sort of an idea seems so many people end up meeting somebody like that these days.

 

Anyone got any idea ?

 

This info isn't present, but from my own experiences not always what it seems to be. Today unlike years ago marriage was on the table. Everyone today just want to be independent and on their own. Most who had married once, twice and more can't keep marriages together. The dream of getting married forever has gone welcome to 2017 a whole new dating world online.

[coolheadal]

What about long distance OL.

Although that could be another thread, dunno.

 

But l wonder how many Long distance things work out when they actually meet ?

 

 

ps , good for you btw FL and all the best for the future.

 

More questions I see?? This one data isn't around unless someone conducts a poll for it. All those LDR outside the USA I never gone to meet anyone outside the USA and won't do it. I am staying here. We have enough women here to keep us men grounded I say!

[divegrl]

8+ years.

 

One of the couples I know who worked out (they have 2 kids now) met on LS.

 

Awwww ..... so sweet. I love stories like this!!!!

[curiouslysearching]

Awwww ..... so sweet. I love stories like this!!!!

 

I agree with Dive....you never know when the love bug is gonna bite ya

and when he/she does you need not ignore it.......

[Ronnys93]

It saddens me that my LDR didn't work out as he is a great guy. Too many hang ups, but when we met the week went by pretty awesome and we had great chemistry. Takes more than just great chemistry though.

[CptInsano]

I met an online romance once. The chemistry IRL was better than online, oddly enough. She literally latched onto me and wouldn't let go, and I was immediately comfortable with her. It lasted several years, but I couldn't find work in her area. We're still friends, and both agree that it was one of the best relationships either one of us had.

[preraph]

LDRs are out of sight out of mind. There's never faithfulness, and really unless you're married, there shouldn't be because an LDR is a real long shot. I think an LDR has a better chance of at least having some substance if you met in real life doing something you have in common.

 

Like decades before internet, I met a guy at an out-of-town small concert for three obscure prog bands, very small audience, special tastes for the time period. The concert was in the middle between where we lived, which was 3 hours apart. But we both made an effort to see each other and formed not a lasting romance, but a genuine bond and a nice romance that lasted a few months. But it was how we met that ensured we had a bond. We had both traveled a couple of hours because we shared a serious music interest, very specific. As it turns out, he credits me for giving him the confidence to go on to follow a music career and become a bigwig in radio long after we'd stopped dating. And I credit him for being a nice guy in the rogue '70s who wasn't careless enough to hurt me.

 

OLD and then not meeting someone right away, you have too much space on which to project your ideal person -- and you can be sure that person is an illusion. So when you meet, it can be disconcerting because they aren't how you fantasized in their actions toward you, which you've played in your head over and over. They also aren't how you fantasized sexually because you wrote the script for that and they have their own and you aren't fitting into that either. And then you can just hit the wall conversationally. After all, you've already told them your life story before you met, so everything you say now, unless you are a particularly active person who goes out and experiences new things every day (unlikely if you're living online) is simply repetitious and therefore boring.

 

Also, there can be an intimidation factor in person. I once met a gay online friend overseas and he was clearly frightened and intimidated by my Texas self.

 

It certainly helps when you can talk live seeing each other's body language and cadence, but it's still not foolproof. There's still this X factor when you meet. They way you walk, the way you smell, whether you exude confidence or not, that even in a live face shot can't be conveyed.

[Titanll]

I met an online romance once. The chemistry IRL was better than online, oddly enough. She literally latched onto me and wouldn't let go, and I was immediately comfortable with her. It lasted several years, but I couldn't find work in her area. We're still friends, and both agree that it was one of the best relationships either one of us had.

 

I would argue that there is no chemistry online. Chemistry is felt between two humans. Just strikes me as an odd comment. Again, there seems to be a distinction trying to be made between OLD and IRL which, in my opinion, doesn't exist.

 

I argue that you never "met" until you, in fact, met regardless of how you were introduced.

[gaius]

I think if you're upfront it has a high chance of working out. I met my girlfriend here and talked honestly and openly with her. I didn't put up any false pretenses or send her a picture from 5 years ago. And neither did she. When we met in person every bit of that scorching chemistry was there. Our 2 year anniversary is a little more than a month away.

 

You really need to make meeting in person a priority though. The odds drop dramatically if you both aren't busy finding a way to turn it into a regular in person relationship.