Should I be worried? [UPDATE: texting confusion]

[InvisiBlonde]

No I believe this guy ! I believe he went to a wedding ... I believe it was his wedding though !!!

 

OMG; LOLOLOLOL! How do I just know you're right??

 

I'm aghast that he's leading on the poor OP , but this has me snorting out my tea!

[InvisiBlonde]

He let me pick what I wanted and we were talking about when we were going to do this and how I would have to come to his house.

 

Oh, really. . ? For???

[starrynight4321]

Yeah I don't plan on contacting him anymore. I'm still sitting here hoping he contacts me.

 

I just feel so sad and confused. I keep replaying it in my head of where it possibly could have gone wrong. I keep second guessing everything I did. I mean a few of my girl friends think what he's doing is okay. He seems very busy and has a lot he wants to get done with the place he just moved to, so he will come around. I guess I just don't want nor feel the same. Then I keep thinking maybe they are right and I am overreacting.

 

I'm not sure how I should feel. I truly did not think the last time I kissed him goodbye that we wouldn't talk all that much and this whole thing. I don't understand. Then other people I know keep telling me that I didn't do anything wrong and something is clearly just going on with him in his life for him to be like this. He went from acting like he really liked me, and telling me, to "maybe I'll see you next week." and being really flighty with plans.

 

I don't know if he is freaked out by us getting closer. But thats not my fault. But it still hurts me, because I'm involved. I question if he is not ready for a relationship. But then again, why is he on a dating site and why did he invite me to his bed and he set the pace, after claiming he didn't want to rush. I went along with it, and was okay with what we did. I still thought things were going in a good direction. I never asked him for more. Tried not to give off that vibe of wanting more. I think I gave off that I liked him, but I never asked for a relationship right away and I felt I tried my hardest not to pressure him.

 

Then I thought maybe he freaked out that he saw me still logging in to match.com. But the only reason I was logging in was to see if he was logging in. I would feel bad if he kept seeing me on there and then figured I was seeing other guys and wasn't serious about him. I just feel like guys don't think as in depth about that. They aren't like woman. I keep seeing he will log in from time to time.

 

I have been talking to a few guys online casually. They have not asked me out, which is fine. To be honest, after this whole crazy experience I am not quite ready to go on a first date with someone. I now have anxiety over this whole thing. I'm scared.

 

I was starting to fall for this man. And now he would rather plant a garden. One of my friends told me maybe he is working really hard trying to get his place looking really good so he can invite me over. But again, he can't text me and tell me that.

 

Like right now one of my girlfriends just texted me and told me she thinks he just has a lot going on right now. Moving out of the place he shared with his ex-fiancee and such, is emotional. My girl friend said if he genuinely liked me, as he seemed to last week, that it just doesn't go away like this. He may just be going through a lot trying to make this new life for himself. She thinks he will come around if he did like me.

 

I guess that makes me feel better, but it also makes me feel bad. Like maybe my friend is right. I mean for the last three weeks he has been telling me he is going to move, and every time I went over he never had anything packed. I remember being surprised thinking that he was never going to just be able to pick up and move, because nothing again, was packed up. Even thursday, when I was over, two days from moving day, he seemed to have nothing packed and he was just living like he was staying there. He told me his mother would come over, clean, and try and help him pack, and tell him he needed to pack up. Maybe he was avoiding it because it was more real if it packed that he was definitely moving out. Maybe it popped an emotional bubble he was living in. That he was leaving "their" place, where they would live when they got married and he was never coming back. Maybe there is so much going on with him right now, nothing to do with me. I keep speculating, but I truly don't know. I mean even Friday I wished him good luck with moving and he said he would keep me posted. And then nothing. No contact for days. Doesn't make sense. And when I asked him to dinner Friday night, he said my offer was so tempting and he would have loved to if he wasn't with his friend. Who says that they would have loved to and my offer was tempting, if they were pulling back?

 

He has to buy furniture, which he had done with her, but now by himself. He has to buy all cooking stuff, which he had with her, but now by himself. He has to now do everything he did with her, alone. Maybe he's totally not in a great place right now and he doesn't want me around for it. I don't know. I'm just so confused and confused. We seemed to be fine and things seemed to be heading somewhere slowly but surely, and now things seem awkward. I don't understand, how things change so quickly. Usually you would notice the person pulling away or not being as interested, but literally last time I saw him he begged me to come over. What happened?

 

I don't think I did anything wrong. He seemed to like me, and I liked him. There's nothing else I can do and I can't beat myself up over it.

 

I'm grateful, I do have plans for the weekend. My friends birthday is tonight so a bunch of us are going out. Its good to keep my mind off of it.

 

I'm sorry to be extremely blunt and harsh here - but what EXACTLY are you confused about? I've read this entire thread. This guy gave you the absolute bare minimum investment from the get-go, and this has NEVER changed. I wonder if you notice that every time you reach the idea that he's not worth it, you get another text from him, and then you start making excuses for him and saying how he's actually really a great guy. No, he isn't. He's not too busy. He's not too tired. He's not occupied with work. He's not emotionally exhausted. He is not afraid of getting close. That is all a bunch of hot air.

 

He is not interested in you, and he has already figured out that he doesn't have to do much of anything for you. When he's particularly bored, he can reach out and you'll jump at the chance. He can squeeze you in when others cancel on him or before other, more important plans just to keep you hanging on in case he wants a little action or some company temporarily. You are allowing all of this. While you're obsessing, he's having a grand old time not even thinking about it.

 

Stop making excuses for him, he is not the guy for you. No guy wants to garden rather than meet up with a pretty girl he's interested in dating. He's not "crazy busy." It takes 5 seconds to send a text. This guy is NOT into you, but you keep hanging on when you could be putting your time into meeting someone so much better.