All good men taken by their early 20s?

[Timshel]

This is a difficult thing to put in writing but I have to say that I can't dispute that single men around have nothing nice to say about the dating pool.

What's up, don't know and not participating but it's kind of ugly.

 

First liars. Lots of bald faced, out and out liars. Then, aggressiveness. Take me home and do me now type of stuff. The dudes are haha, scared...got laid but seriously scared.

 

I'm sure that women have equally horrendous stories to tell. The single dudes I know are nice, regular guys. I don't hang out with single women because I'm in a relationship and I have noticed some fairly raunchy stuff going on.

[thefooloftheyear]

This is a difficult thing to put in writing but I have to say that I can't dispute that single men around have nothing nice to say about the dating pool.

What's up, don't know and not participating but it's kind of ugly.

 

First liars. Lots of bald faced, out and out liars. Then, aggressiveness. Take me home and do me now type of stuff. The dudes are haha, scared...got laid but seriously scared.

 

I'm sure that women have equally horrendous stories to tell. The single dudes I know are nice, regular guys. I don't hang out with single women because I'm in a relationship and I have noticed some fairly raunchy stuff going on.

 

Scared of what??

 

TFY

[Timshel]

Scared of what??

 

TFY

 

Ok, I'll use 6' 2" harley looking dude (give the shirt off his back) living down the street as an example. Divorced 2 yrs. ago and dating. Trust me, he isn't afraid of anything. G knows him.

 

So we commiserate about the lawn, hoa and such but he tells me (us) about his dating life. He says women throw themselves at him and then come around and make him have some relationship.

 

Now I say, dude, what? He's scared. I'm not kidding, I know the look of fear in a man's eyes. I don't know what else to say.

[thefooloftheyear]

Ok, I'll use 6' 2" harley looking dude (give the shirt off his back) living down the street as an example. Divorced 2 yrs. ago and dating. Trust me, he isn't afraid of anything. G knows him.

 

So we commiserate about the lawn, hoa and such but he tells me (us) about his dating life. He says women throw themselves at him and then come around and make him have some relationship.

 

Now I say, dude, what? He's scared. I'm not kidding, I know the look of fear in a man's eyes. I don't know what else to say.

 

 

She'll only come out at night, the lean and hungry type, nothings new seen her here before......

 

 

I get it....Yeah...they even do it here.....

 

Watch out!

 

 

TFY

[Chilli]

Women divorce more than men right now because she has nothing to lose. He'd rather have an affair and keep his kids and finances in tact if he is miserable .

He'll have to support her even if she scewed around, she'll get his kids and his house and he still has to pay for that too and ends up in a 1 bed flat paying for her and missing his own kids, starting over.

If the courts ever start seeing sense, those stats will change dramatically .

l don't meet too many guys willing to risk getting skun again for a women when they can have all the fun and do whatever they want and eventually control their own life for once, without worrying about a thing anymore.

Edited May 16, 2017 by Chilli

[BluEyeL]

Generally speaking those great guys that are snapped up in their early 20's are going to be available for round two in their mid thirties. Have you seen the divorce rate? If you're willing to take on step kids that will probably hate you you've got a shot!

No, that's wrong. According to the original theory and the one I was presented as argument against dating, those guys who become available are NOT the great guys who got snatched. They are the no-good guys who got married early and were let go by their women for being bad husbands.

[BluEyeL]

Women divorce more than men right now because she has nothing to lose. He'd rather have an affair and keep his kids and finances in tact if he is miserable .

He'll have to support her even if she scewed around, she'll get his kids and his house and he still has to pay for that too and ends up in a 1 bed flat paying for her and missing his own kids, starting over.

If the courts ever start seeing sense, those stats will change dramatically .

l don't meet too many guys willing to risk getting skun again for a women when they can have all the fun and do whatever they want and eventually control their own life for once, without worrying about a thing anymore.

 

While I think this is still true in many cases, it's not universal anymore, since women make as much as men or even more in many marriages. So this argument doesn't hold as a generalization.

 

For example, in my first marriage I was the breadwinner. My ex had nothing to lose. I even waived child support. On the contrary, he could have gotten me to the cleaners. But he didn't, we just left each other alone and got along, on the principle you don't give me problems, I don't give you problems and that's that.

[Chilli]

Yeah l guess but haven't met too many guys on a good wicket from their ex but plenty of vice verse. And also plenty of good men that were screwed around on too.

But if she leaves him, then he's no good where as if he leaves her , he's still no good , see that one doesn't hold water either.

There's just as many bad wives out there unfortunately , l feel sorry for most married men l see about but l do envy some though for sure.

 

But anyway , back on the question , l was thinking about it and l use to worry about the same thing back when too because it was like all the good women were already snapped up too. It was like the only time l liked somebody she was spoken for,

Edited May 16, 2017 by Chilli

[hotpotato]

Yeah l guess but haven't met too many guys on a good wicket from their ex but plenty of vice verse. And also plenty of good men that were screwed around on too.

But if she leaves him, then he's no good where as if he leaves her , he's still no good , see that one doesn't hold water either.

There's just as many bad wives out there unfortunately , l feel sorry for most married men l see about but l do envy some though for sure.

 

But anyway , back on the question , l was thinking about it and l use to worry about the same thing back when too because it was like all the good women were already snapped up too. It was like the only time l liked somebody she was spoken for,

This started for me in high school. I had no idea it would carry on into my 20s and 30s. A lot of the guys i've been kinda interested in have mostly been taken, not only taken by married for years with kids. I've gotten attractive guys who admit they are married try to have a fling with me.

[thefooloftheyear]

While I think this is still true in many cases, it's not universal anymore, since women make as much as men or even more in many marriages. So this argument doesn't hold as a generalization.

 

For example, in my first marriage I was the breadwinner. My ex had nothing to lose. I even waived child support. On the contrary, he could have gotten me to the cleaners. But he didn't, we just left each other alone and got along, on the principle you don't give me problems, I don't give you problems and that's that.

 

 

True, but still horribly one sided ...

 

That actually may explain why there aren't enough good men later on in life...They realize the effing they thought they were going to get when they met her, isn't really worth the effing they are going to get when the shyt hits the fan.....

 

There is a guy I know that has 3 little kids....Works like crazy, runs his own company...Comes home one day unannounced to find one of his workers in bed with the wife...She divorces him because he's angry over it(duh), and winds up having to pay for her divorce lawyer...She is now in the house he bought, he can't go there, and he's paying...Great, right??

 

But yeah, men tend to be more pragmatic than women...They weigh the consequences vs the actions and act accordingly...That's why guys do what Chili said...They live their own secret lives and don't rock the boat...

 

So those potential "good" men never wind up back in the game..

 

TFY

Edited May 16, 2017 by thefooloftheyear

[hotpotato]

I think one of the biggest reasons it becomes difficult to find people later in life is because of baggage, emotional and otherwise. A couple harsh breakups, and suddenly we become bitter and jaded. People start overestimating their own value in a relationship, and they want some magical, imaginary person who doesn't exist, or would never date them if they did. They start to compare new people to everyone they ever dated, and if you don't have all the best qualities of each of them, and none of the bad, you're out of luck.

 

I really thought about it, and i know someone like that. One of my exes. In short he wanted a woman who would cook and clean, sex him real nice, and butter him up in a certain way. The problem? These women were being so nice and thoughtful because they were trying to use him whether to get in his house or get his wallet.

 

He told me about the one girl. He said she was so thoughtful ie much more thoughtful than i am. A few days later, he was complaining about her trying to get his money. He has also compared me with other women, how great they were, but also, these women were trying to use him. He was in essence complaining that i wasn't acting like a woman who wasn't trying to use him.

 

Theres no talking to him about this. He's older, set in his ways, expects things to be a certain way, and believes himself to always be right. Other people have told him this.

 

Also, this man is hellbent on dating women half his age.

 

So he wants a women half is age, with no kids(he has a kid), no emotional baggage ( he has severe emotional baggage), who will treat him how a gold digger treats him but not actually be a gold digger, and has nothing that could remind him of an ex wife. This unicorn women could be out there, but she's extremely mythical.

 

Over the years his list of things he wanted has grown and grown. He thinks he deserves all these things even though he's not a spring chicken anymore. People have told him that no matter who you're with, you'll have issues.

 

This man might die alone bc what he wants in a woman has grown so long. He's really not a bad guy, but his standards are through the roof.

 

I'm certainly not saying it's just men. I do see now how it's easier to stay single after you've had more and more experience. Some things are understandable, but some older people have absurd expectations.

[CptInsano]

I really thought about it, and i know someone like that. [...]

 

Only one person? I know a whole bunch. I guess one's self-image develops during adolescence and often does not change much after that. I know plenty of people who are stuck in college or even high school when it comes to dating and romance. Men tend tongue very direct about it, women are a little more subtle, wanting a man of their own age who should exhibit youthful characteristics.

 

Some people are even able to reflect on this, yet they cannot change what they want.

[hotpotato]

Only one person? I know a whole bunch. I guess one's self-image develops during adolescence and often does not change much after that. I know plenty of people who are stuck in college or even high school when it comes to dating and romance. Men tend tongue very direct about it, women are a little more subtle, wanting a man of their own age who should exhibit youthful characteristics.

 

Some people are even able to reflect on this, yet they cannot change what they want.

Mm hmmm... They want someone youthful who knows what to do, what not to do, is experienced in relationships but hasnt had negative experiences that give them baggage. This person cant have any of their ex's faults. Go figure.

Edited May 17, 2017 by hotpotato

[Sweetfish]

While I think this is still true in many cases, it's not universal anymore, since women make as much as men or even more in many marriages. So this argument doesn't hold as a generalization.

 

For example, in my first marriage I was the breadwinner. My ex had nothing to lose. I even waived child support. On the contrary, he could have gotten me to the cleaners. But he didn't, we just left each other alone and got along, on the principle you don't give me problems, I don't give you problems and that's that.

 

Most women do not make as much as men because men work more often than women so that's a false.

 

While you may be an exception to the rule, many women will try to get full custody of a child.

 

Most men will not take a woman to the cleaner as men are more often "providers"

 

Also...women which Ive seen countless of times have no problem collecting a check, alimony, taking half or more even if they make the same amount. Some states have life time alimony.

 

There is nothing to lose for most women when they sign a marriage contract and the state is the second husband on standby.