Women file for Divorce more

[Mysterio]

Why do you think it is stat wise that Women file for Divorce more.

 

In my view. It always feel like men are the less demanding partner in a relationship.

 

I am not trying to slam women. I just wonder why that is. I wonder why there is less men filing for Divorce over women. Take out Physical Abuse factors as well.

[blockrockinbeat74]

Traditionally, women have been filing for divorce more because men have the most to loose; this has no correlation with men's behaviour during the marriage.

 

These stats will probably change in the next generation or two now that shared parental custody is becoming the norm, that parity at work is evolving in the right direction, and that marriage rates are falling.

[carhill]

Probably is individual. However, among my male friends, the two men who did file for divorce also filed for, fought for, and received joint or favorable custody at a time when that was rare.

 

Also, filing can be an admission of failure, regardless of circumstances, of 'keeping it together', for a man. Society has different expectations of, and places different pressures on, men versus women.

 

Then, the Cheers effect. Men are creatures of habit and will suffer a lot to retain their routine and filing for divorce and voluntarily initiating one of the most disruptive parts of living to their routine isn't something men prefer to do. Women, with more freedom and training in emotional expression and networking, can take the same step to end an unproductive or unhealthy marriage and maintain and/or recover their status in life than men, all else being equal.

 

Lastly, though it is changing, money. Few men would voluntarily fire up the legal removal of a significant portion of their life's work. In the past, women had the legal profession and law on their side to fund their transition to single life on the man's wallet. Men had no such recourse. As times have changed and women earn equally to men, the numbers have leveled but the laws are to a certain degree still living in the past and, well, people tend to be all about the money in life so few leave any on the table.

 

That's what I've seen in my nearly six decades of being around, being married and being divorced. Men may be aggressive and confident out in the world but home is their vulnerable and safe haven and many fear upsetting that safety. Apparently, women adapt better so have fewer qualms about ending unproductive or unhealthy marriages. They feel like it so they do it. IMO, good on them.

[Rouik]

That's a hard question to answer, it may be that men are generally led likely to seek help or admit something didn't work the way they planned. So in filling for divorce they are in a sense admitting they failed at something. Interesting question though.

[Popsicle]

It's partly because of money and partly because they're scared they won't get another woman. Most men hate chasing women.

[Jj66]

It's partly because of money and partly because they're scared they won't get another woman. Most men hate chasing women.

 

True, but don't forget fear of losing the children and the fear of appearing to be a failure in the eyes of others.

 

I filed for divorce and much later than I should have. What kept me in it so long?

 

The two reasons you mentioned and the two I added were a powerful cocktail to keep me in an abusive relationship. I didn't get out until it became excruciatingly painful to stay.

[PegNosePete]

When a couple are separated it's more likely to be the woman who files because more men are prepared to live a "separated" life than women.

[Superchicken]

Well, heres a few reasons why :

 

 

1 - Men get very, and I mean VERY abusive Verbally.

I know when I am bad, my words will embarrass Satin himself.

 

 

2 - We are aggressive by nature (Not all, and again, geez, I'm guilty with this too)

 

 

3 - Spiteful (Yippee, I'm not)

4 - Selfish (Refuse to answer)

5 - Predictable (I knew I would say this)

6 - Liars (Really, I'm telling you the truth)

 

 

Man, the list goes on..

 

 

But, Men tend to accept more crap before we give up.

Women have a boiling point.

When reached, Adios, so long, and good bye.

 

 

Ted.

[aileD]

My Thoughts not based on any hard statistics:

 

-women get cheated on more than men

-women that do cheat, are more likely to leave for AP (this one I think I read somewhere) because men cheat more for extracurricular sex, women cheat more for "love" so they say

-women who divorce, usually get custody of the kids and it's not a worry like it is for men about not seeing their kids as much

-Men know they're going to lose a large amount of their income to child support and/or alimony which gives them pause

[PegNosePete]

-women get cheated on more than men

Actually statistics show that the opposite is true.

 

It may be true though, that men get caught cheating more than women.

[WasOtherWoman]

A very wise friend once told me "men don't leave unless their wives kick them out, or they meet someone they want to be with more."

[Superchicken]

Actually statistics show that the opposite is true.

 

It may be true though, that men get caught cheating more than women.

 

You sir, are correct.

I'm glad some of us keep up with statistics..

 

 

Its just that Men get caught easier.

 

 

Ted.

[mikeylo]

Since its not a taboo anymore, women just go ahead and do it.Because they can.

Men, most like the label of being a family man, irrespective of what they actually are up to.

[FoundMyStrength]

I think men wrap all their emotional needs up in their wife, and find it hard to imagine living without her. Whereas most women spread their emotional support more broadly. So when the relationship goes south and they get to a point where they can't see a way forward, it's easier for women to have faith they'll end up okay. Maybe bruised and heartbroken, but eventually okay.

 

I heard a story about a friend of a friend whose wife divorced him a year plus ago. This man still lives in the marital home, which is large and in a distant suburb from the big city he works in. He's isolated, struggling emotionally, but can't seem to bring himself to put the house on the market and move on toward a different, but still meaningful life. He lives alone with two cats he barely takes care of (hairballs and litter everywhere). I think women don't get to a place where divorce would mean that level of isolation or emotional devastation.

 

And my guess is that the more men see other men struggling post divorce, the more it convinces them to stay right in their comfort zone. Which is sad, since often that zone is comfortable but not always happy.

[SevenCity]

I believe it's the same reason why most breakups are initiated by women. They simply have more options.

 

A woman is alone for as long as she wants. Many men can go a long time without so much as getting a date.

 

Additionally, women handle sad emotions much better then men. They have a much better support system and will be given a free pass if they burst into tears at work.

 

Men are just told to "man up" and keep on a happy face.

 

A lot of women believe that men don't have deep feelings. I believe the opposite is true. Men go to war and kill themselves over women. It's not easy to find one you really like so men will put up with a lot more than women will.

 

Finally, when men emotionally invest it is usually permanent. Women often change their minds.

[DKT3]

Carhill nailed it, men are creatures​ of habit who seek stability even when they don't offer it, want comfort even after not giving it. More importantly, men don't need the emotional support of his wife the way the wife needs it from the husband.

 

Another trick that many of us men use is the ole make her dump me tactic. Just overheard a guy at work telling a couple other guys he was going to make his girlfriend break up with him before her birthday. I think maybe he was half joking.

 

Men rarely leave his marriage for another woman, so mostly when we file we are pissed off big time.

[carhill]

Interestingly, in the two anomalies in my social circle, both close friends, the women cleaned the guys out and took the kids, in one case literally I showed up one evening to the guy who only had an empty house and his truck and horse and he was sitting in the pasture with some Jack and his .45 thinking it over. The women left but the guys actually filed the papers. Perhaps that's key. If the woman does a major disruption like that, it jolts the guy out of the security routine, he gets pissed and files. However, those anecdotes happened back in the 70's and 80's so the social and legal milieu is far different now.

 

All of my male friends have been divorced at least once, myself included and in all but those two the wives filed for divorce. I can't speak for the other guys but in our case we agreed that the process would go smoothest if my exW did the filing. It did go smooth, as smooth as any D can go I guess. My main fear was failing the 'one and done' I was socialized into by parents who were married for life. My mom was already demented so she didn't know we were going through a D but I did and it pained me to look at her and think that I failed the family. Interesting that we guys can work in deadly professions and kill people and take bullets in war and overcome those fears but we can fear, and become paralyzed from it, relatively benign stuff like ending a relationship. Oh, well.

[CM71]

I think more women definitely file for divorce these days. My estranged wife was the first to file. We went from taking romantic trips in March and being intimate like a healthy married couple to her giving me the I love you but I'm not in love with you speech. We were together 12 years total and our 7th wedding anniversary was last week. Of course I find out she started having emotional affair with guy she dated 26 years ago. It's funny because she gave me the laundry list of what I've done wrong. She never once asked about my needs in the past 7 years. It's always about her's. I think there is such a double standard when it comes to justifying why women cheat as opposed to men.

[AMarriedMan]

Traditionally, women have been filing for divorce more because men have the most to loose; this has no correlation with men's behaviour during the marriage.

 

These stats will probably change in the next generation or two now that shared parental custody is becoming the norm, that parity at work is evolving in the right direction, and that marriage rates are falling.

 

If the experience of Northern European countries is any guide, they are unlikely to change all that much. In Scandinavia, there is no alimony (except in exceedingly rare cases), child support is very reasonable (typically only a few hundred USD per month, probably because there are so many heavily subsidized or free of charge public services). Yet, women file for about two thirds of all divorces. Women just tend to be the more demanding sex in heterosexual relationships.

[SmartDude]

If there were no constraints or expectations from society, women would be a lot different. They are the rulers in the realms of love and sex. Men are like mere peasants traveling through this strange land. When I was young, I thought there could be equality. As I am older now I see the truth.

 

I have a suspicion that women are naturally poly amorous if left to their own decision making process. It seems easier for them to love multiple men.

[arzi]

The truth is that the trend of women filing for divorce more often than men is related to socio-economic trends, changes in divorce law and some basic gender differences.

 

Here is the brief article, you should read this one

 

6 Reasons Women File for Divorce More Often Than Men

[NTV]

It could also be that men tend to overvalue loyalty. I hear a lot more about brotherhood among men than sisterhood among women.

 

Women also tend to get what they want more often. Even mother's day which is coming up is an example. It's always outweighed fathers day. Why? Not because a mother or father are more important than the other. No, it's just far more likely a mother would make a big stink about not celebrating it vs a father who would just shrug it off.

 

So when a woman doesn't get what she wants out of a marriage she is more like to exercise those other options mentioned earlier. When a man doesn't get what he wants he's told to accept it. After years of accepting less and less... well you get the picture.

 

But really it could just come down to women being less able to deal with commitment than men. That's why they're always changing their minds.

[somanymistakes]

Women also tend to get what they want more often. Even mother's day which is coming up is an example. It's always outweighed fathers day. Why? Not because a mother or father are more important than the other. No, it's just far more likely a mother would make a big stink about not celebrating it vs a father who would just shrug it off.

 

Do you have any actual evidence for that? I've heard from a lot of people about how Mother's Day means a card and Father's Day means a cool expensive present...

[NTV]

Do you have any actual evidence for that? I've heard from a lot of people about how Mother's Day means a card and Father's Day means a cool expensive present...

 

Personal experience which was corroborated by a multitude of friends in my teens and twenties followed by personal experience as a father.

 

They do say it's getting better. I'm just glad I got a card last year.

[alphamale]

Why do you think it is stat wise that Women file for Divorce more.

because women START and END the vast majority of relationships