Worried about my bfs mental health [UPDATED: boyfriend is in the hospital]

April 20, 2017

I'll go more in depth as soon as I have some replies because it's a very long story. But to summarize I've been with my bf for close to 2 years now and he's recently become basically paranoid about the world and is extremely religious like I've never seen before. I believe in god and believe in Christianity but it's more of a personal thing to me. but this is something that I've never experienced anyone do and I will post screenshots of the things he says later on. I love him so much and I'm worried honestly. He thinks he is a prophet and he was reborn. God has called upon him to change the world. These 2 examples aren't even close to the things he says that are absolutely crazy. Will go into further detail later. Please help me with this because I'm struggling with myself over this and him. I have no one to talk to about this and I figure an outsider could help more than someone close to me

April 20, 2017

if you think he's delusional, can you speak to a family member of his to make sure he's not a danger to himself or others?

He probably needs a CT scan or a PET scan to see what's up with his brain, but there isn't a nice way to suggest that & you can't force him.

April 20, 2017

if you think he's delusional, can you speak to a family member of his to make sure he's not a danger to himself or others?

He probably needs a CT scan or a PET scan to see what's up with his brain, but there isn't a nice way to suggest that & you can't force him.

I talked to his mother about it because he talks like this and about this to everyone even random people on the streets and all over social media. Warning them about the deceiving ways of the world. His mom basically brushed it off and said he will be okay. I told her I was concerned and she didn't seem to be at all. He goes through phases a lot where he completely changes and she believes that this is another phase but it's different than normal this time. It's been almost 2 weeks of this behavior now. I believe he said he went to the doctor at one point a couple years ago and was told he was bipolar and had derealisation but Idk if that has any correlation to this. He woke up one day and was completely different. Not the man I fell in love with.

April 20, 2017

Phases of completely changing sounds very much like bipolar. And this could well be a manic phase. He probably won't listen to you until the phase passes, so I'd suggest you hang on for another week or two if you can and then when he stabilises, get him to a psychiatrist.

If he refuses to see a psychiatrist, unfortunately you will be faced with a 'stay or go' decision.

April 20, 2017

Phases of completely changing sounds very much like bipolar. And this could well be a manic phase. He probably won't listen to you until the phase passes, so I'd suggest you hang on for another week or two if you can and then when he stabilises, get him to a psychiatrist.

If he refuses to see a psychiatrist, unfortunately you will be faced with a 'stay or go' decision.

I really hope it is a manic phase and he does get over it soon. A couple weeks back he had a sudden change like this one that was based on religion but it was fairly calm compared to this. He got over it quickly though. I just want to help him but he doesn't see how he's acting and I don't expect him to but I wish I could just make him snap out of it. Idk it that's selfish of me but I know he's making himself anxious and sick over something that he doesn't need to worry about.

April 20, 2017

He is becoming delusional and does need immediate mental healthcare from a psychologist or psychiatrist. You should at least let his family know, but you can try making him get help yourself, though this may only make him paranoid about you.

People who develop this stuff suddenly can really be a danger to themselves and others. About 20 years ago, I read about a case where a guy who had always been a steady guy and worked at the same big electronics firm for 20 years. First thing that began to happen when he changed was paranoia about his workplace and the other people there. It progressed to where the wife would come home to find him inside with the house dark ranting about political and religious things he never cared about before. He lost his job or quit going, can't remember which, because of his paranoia about it. A 20 year job.

One day the wife came home and he was sitting on a big block of ice and had castrated himself (the twins).

It's very hard to make someone mentally ill get help, and it's equally hard when the person has not had a problem in the past to get his family to take their head out of the sand and admit something needs to be done. There are late-onset mental conditions. It's not unusual to develop a serious mental illness in the 30s or 40s. Some of the more serious ones are frequently late to manifest.

So start with his family. You should maybe videotape him covertly to catch his crazy on tape. Show them and try to get them to intervene. It's hard to legally force a full grown adult to get help though. You have to prove them incompetent. He probably isn't to that stage yet, but the earlier the better. If there is one family member who you know has a lot of influence over him, take it to them. Meanwhile, if you feel he is really flipping out OR if he threatens himself or others at all, even theoretically, you can call the police and see if they can get him admitted for an evaluation. If you're ever away from home and he is sounding crazy, send them over there for a wellness check. You don't even have to be there.

Good luck. He needs help.

April 20, 2017

He is becoming delusional and does need immediate mental healthcare from a psychologist or psychiatrist. You should at least let his family know, but you can try making him get help yourself, though this may only make him paranoid about you.

People who develop this stuff suddenly can really be a danger to themselves and others. About 20 years ago, I read about a case where a guy who had always been a steady guy and worked at the same big electronics firm for 20 years. First thing that began to happen when he changed was paranoia about his workplace and the other people there. It progressed to where the wife would come home to find him inside with the house dark ranting about political and religious things he never cared about before. He lost his job or quit going, can't remember which, because of his paranoia about it. A 20 year job.

One day the wife came home and he was sitting on a big block of ice and had castrated himself (the twins).

It's very hard to make someone mentally ill get help, and it's equally hard when the person has not had a problem in the past to get his family to take their head out of the sand and admit something needs to be done. There are late-onset mental conditions. It's not unusual to develop a serious mental illness in the 30s or 40s. Some of the more serious ones are frequently late to manifest.

So start with his family. You should maybe videotape him covertly to catch his crazy on tape. Show them and try to get them to intervene. It's hard to legally force a full grown adult to get help though. You have to prove them incompetent. He probably isn't to that stage yet, but the earlier the better. If there is one family member who you know has a lot of influence over him, take it to them. Meanwhile, if you feel he is really flipping out OR if he threatens himself or others at all, even theoretically, you can call the police and see if they can get him admitted for an evaluation. If you're ever away from home and he is sounding crazy, send them over there for a wellness check. You don't even have to be there.

Good luck. He needs help.

He's turning 20 soon that's what worries me. I feel like he's kind of going for this behavior but I don't know much about things like this anyways. But I'm veryy worried that he will spiral out of control and do some real damage to his brain or even harm himself because he believes that the lord isn't going to let him die. I wish his mom would actually pay attention to what I say to her but she just doesn't see the seriousness. I believe his dad is on the same page as me but I don't have the same relationship with his dad as I do his mom because they are divorced.

April 20, 2017

He's turning 20 soon that's what worries me. I feel like he's kind of going for this behavior but I don't know much about things like this anyways. But I'm veryy worried that he will spiral out of control and do some real damage to his brain or even harm himself because he believes that the lord isn't going to let him die. I wish his mom would actually pay attention to what I say to her but she just doesn't see the seriousness. I believe his dad is on the same page as me but I don't have the same relationship with his dad as I do his mom because they are divorced.

Thank you for your opinion though. It really helps. I'm so worried about where this is leading him that I can't even think straight these days.

April 20, 2017

He's turning 20 soon that's what worries me. I feel like he's kind of going for this behavior but I don't know much about things like this anyways. But I'm veryy worried that he will spiral out of control and do some real damage to his brain or even harm himself because he believes that the lord isn't going to let him die. I wish his mom would actually pay attention to what I say to her but she just doesn't see the seriousness. I believe his dad is on the same page as me but I don't have the same relationship with his dad as I do his mom because they are divorced.

Get ahold of his dad. Just do it. Mothers are so often just unable to see anything wrong with their boys. It's love blindness.

He's not abusing substances, is he, because that would be a simple explanation for this behavior if he was shooting drugs or doing meth or crack or heroin or hallucinogens (although with the latter, he'd likely be back to normal once it wore off). If he is doing drugs, don't enable it.

April 20, 2017

You know, everything is expensive, but there are online psychologists if you can afford them or if he'd agree to that. He wouldn't even have to leave the house. but it's expensive, just like the local ones are, unless he has insurance or Obamacare which does cover some of this I think. I think under Obamacare kids are covered under their parents' policies until 24. But you may not be in the US. Anyway look into whether you can get mental healthcare for him.

If he is a student, try to get him to the school or college counselor even.

April 20, 2017

You know, everything is expensive, but there are online psychologists if you can afford them or if he'd agree to that. He wouldn't even have to leave the house. but it's expensive, just like the local ones are, unless he has insurance or Obamacare which does cover some of this I think. I think under Obamacare kids are covered under their parents' policies until 24. But you may not be in the US. Anyway look into whether you can get mental healthcare for him.

If he is a student, try to get him to the school or college counselor even.

He recently quit smoking weed I would say about a month ago. He smoked multiple times a day for 7 months straight. I'm not sure if that has much to do with it though because I've never been an avid weed smoker myself. I'm really wanting to get him in somewhere but I'm trying to wait a little bit to see if he calms a little bit because if I mentioned anything right now it would literally set him off and I can't even imagine how he would react.

April 20, 2017

How old is your boyfriend? Hate to say this and don't want to scare you but this sounds like Schizophrenia. This type of mental illness can make an appearance and show signs in the late teens or early 20's. His grandiose attitude, his moods, his ups/downs is something serious and shouldn't be ignored so don't give up on talking to his mom, close friends and other family members. He needs to be assessed or at best go have an appt with his Dr.

April 20, 2017

He's turning 20 soon that's what worries me. I feel like he's kind of going for this behavior but I don't know much about things like this anyways. But I'm veryy worried that he will spiral out of control and do some real damage to his brain or even harm himself because he believes that the lord isn't going to let him die. I wish his mom would actually pay attention to what I say to her but she just doesn't see the seriousness. I believe his dad is on the same page as me but I don't have the same relationship with his dad as I do his mom because they are divorced.

Keep reaching out to his dad, don't give up.

The more people who see something is off, the sooner you all can help him and get him into counseling.

April 20, 2017

Keep reaching out to his dad, don't give up.

The more people who see something is off, the sooner you all can help him and get him into counseling.

Thanks so much for your advice. I'm so worried about him because this is not the man I know and I just want to help him. I'm hoping by trying to get in touch with his dad and also contacting my therapist will help guide me into making the right decision to help him but not hurt him. I don't want him to think that I'm forcing him but he needs to talk to someone about this.

April 20, 2017

I would call an ambulance and tell them that he is having serious delusions that he is a Prophet of Jesus Christ, that he is paranoid and that you are scared for yourself and for him. It's not to punish him it's to get him help. What if he decides he can fly or something and jumps off a building believing he's an angel or something?

If they evaluate him and find ok he's ok that's good to know and if he isn't they will help him.

April 20, 2017

sounds like he is in real need of a diagnosis.....i have a few pothead friends who have drug induced psychosis when they go off the crap......aggression paranoia..hearing things....seeing things.......pot is really addictive......and going cold turkey can cause drug psychosis..changes in personality from calm to irate within minutes......he needs to see someone ...some people might say pot doesnt cause that...from experience and the men i have had in my life...oh yes it can.....its obvious withdrawals they suffer......and psychosis...

talk to him ....see if the happenings started up around the same time he gave pot up...get him to a mental health official..if you can and inform his family you would like their support........deb

April 20, 2017

He's turning 20 soon that's what worries me. I feel like he's kind of going for this behavior but I don't know much about things like this anyways. But I'm veryy worried that he will spiral out of control and do some real damage to his brain or even harm himself because he believes that the lord isn't going to let him die. I wish his mom would actually pay attention to what I say to her but she just doesn't see the seriousness. I believe his dad is on the same page as me but I don't have the same relationship with his dad as I do his mom because they are divorced.

Bi-polar symptoms actually start increasing by the time a person is nearing or in their 20s. Delusions of grandeur/immortality and "visions" occur in the manic stage. The length of the cycles between mania and depression vary from person to person but each end of the spectrum can last for months sometimes years.

He needs to see a psychiatrist PDQ.

April 20, 2017

He recently quit smoking weed I would say about a month ago. He smoked multiple times a day for 7 months straight. I'm not sure if that has much to do with it though because I've never been an avid weed smoker myself. I'm really wanting to get him in somewhere but I'm trying to wait a little bit to see if he calms a little bit because if I mentioned anything right now it would literally set him off and I can't even imagine how he would react.

Well, even to an old hippie like me, that's a lot of weed. And it means he's anesthetizing some pain from something, like mental pain from emotional problems maybe. So it's certainly a possibility that that much weed could make him real screwy and delusional, but it's more likely to me he graduated into some harder drug. But there is still an underlying problem no matter what that needs therapy because something is making him take it to excess, and it's usually just wanting to numb emotional pain and get blotto to forget it.

I would say if you can't get him to do therapy, not to stick around for this. Would be a calamity to have kids with him.

April 20, 2017

I think perhaps contact a mental health practitioner and see if you can persuade your boyfriend to go along with you to support you. You could tell him you are very stressed about life at the moment and wish to see a therapist. It would help if he came along with you so the therapist could see the relationship dynamic since things have changed with his new religious ideas.

Otherwise, getting family involved is a good idea. I'm sorry it is so difficult for you. It must also be scary for your boyfriend whose perception of the world and its meaning has changed so much so suddenly. He is probably excited but maybe a bit scared too.

Edited April 20, 2017 by spiderowl

April 20, 2017

You are in over your head. I agree with whoever said your BF may have schizophrenia. He needs more help then you his 20 year old GF can provide.

Talk to your own parents about the best things you can do for your own health & safety.

It's so sweet that you want to help but you may not be able to. If your BF had cancer you wouldn't think you could love him through it would you?

April 20, 2017

Sounds like schizophrenia to me. I had a colleague his son was schizophrenic and when he had crises he thought he was a secret agent on a mission. He would visit police stations, introduce himself as an agent, talked about made-up cases, etc. He lived it as it was the holy truth.

On top of that you're saying he smoked weed on daily basis and we have studies now connecting heavy weed smoking with schizophrenia.

Someone needs to call an ambulance and say he is having a schizophrenic episode.

April 20, 2017

He needs to see a doctor. He NEEDS to see a doctor, stat! As others have mentioned, this is right around the age (19-22) that extremely severe mental illnesses emerge. I dated a guy who had his first psychotic break at 22 and it was terrifying for everyone involved.

This is not your job. You are not responsible for handling this. Make sure his parents and competent medical authorities are involved.

Edited April 20, 2017 by lana-banana

April 23, 2017

My boyfriend of 2 years is in the hospital. He's been in for 2 days. The first night I left early and found out afterwards that he wanted me to stay with him. Tonight I left again because my parents birthday is in the morning and I wanted to be with them for a while and then head back up to the hospital. He is being extremely rude and is telling me I made a stupid decision and is saying he's breaking up with me for this. I know I should have stayed but I was torn. I never make the right decision in his eyes and it ends like this every time. I dont think it's healthy for me when he is constantly trying to break up with me.

April 23, 2017

My boyfriend of 2 years is in the hospital. He's been in for 2 days. The first night I left early and found out afterwards that he wanted me to stay with him. Tonight I left again because my parents birthday is in the morning and I wanted to be with them for a while and then head back up to the hospital. He is being extremely rude and is telling me I made a stupid decision and is saying he's breaking up with me for this. I know I should have stayed but I was torn. I never make the right decision in his eyes and it ends like this every time. I dont think it's healthy for me when he is constantly trying to break up with

No that's not healthy at all for him wanting you to be there 247 for him at the hospital. I think you just need to express to him that you will be there but you have things to do as well. He seems to be scared of being alone for some reason. Re-assure him and communicate that you will be there with him on these days and specific hours but you have other plans you have to attend to as well. You're not a robot that needs to cater to his every need. I think it's great that you are even at the hospital in the first place because you care for him. If he keeps breaking up with you because of it then maybe you need to reevaluate your relationship. First talk it out with him.. if he keeps throwing a hissy fit then you need to leave him. Regardless if he's in the hospital or not.

April 23, 2017

My boyfriend of 2 years is in the hospital. He's been in for 2 days. The first night I left early and found out afterwards that he wanted me to stay with him. Tonight I left again because my parents birthday is in the morning and I wanted to be with them for a while and then head back up to the hospital. He is being extremely rude and is telling me I made a stupid decision and is saying he's breaking up with me for this. I know I should have stayed but I was torn. I never make the right decision in his eyes and it ends like this every time. I dont think it's healthy for me when he is constantly trying to break up with me.

Its definitely 100% not healthy and hes using it as a tool for manipulation to have control.

Sometimes the hardest and smartest decision is knowing when to let go and walk away. Our hearts were created to heal.

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Worried about my bfs mental health [UPDATED: boyfriend is in the hospital]

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