Wife Gets Overly Flirty with Friend

[gazupp]

I had recently begun hanging with my old home town friend Hank after a long hiatus. It was really good to catch up with him. My wife met Hank before but generally avoided him when he came over. She didn't trust Hank and said he was a player and a threat to our family, supposedly because he once gave her a flirty look many years ago. After a few recent visits to my house, my wife finally warmed up to him a bit more and it seemed they were cordial. I even asked Hank to join us at the casino/hotel where my wife and I were staying for a few nights. Due to scheduling/logistics, he would meet us and take the extra bed in our room one night and his new girlfriend would meet up with all of us the next evening for dinner etc. (at which point they would get their own room).

 

So, first night just me and the wife and we had a good time, but I was pretty tired after a long work week and driving...we were gonna be there for a few nights and I wanted to pace myself (we're in our mid 40s). My wife, who, despite being disabled with chronic pain, recently lost 40 lbs and is looking hot...she took the meds that can allow her to be up and around, albeit a bit manic sometimes, including amphetamines, which one of her Dr.s recently prescribed...she dressed sexy and has all this energy and wants to go gamble and enjoy some drinks and went to the tables for a bit. Came back at 4 am and got into bed with me. Starts ranting about how she's changing and has needs and she woke me up a few hours later for a great morning sex session.

 

That night Hank comes down and we meet up. We're doing a bit of drinking and vaping and wife took her amphetamines and gave Hank some too (I didn't want to indulge).I notice some flirty banter between Hank and my wife. Things started to kind of heat up when my wife got more flirty and chatty with Hank. There was sexual innuendo...at one point she asked him how big his cock was! This was awkward to say the least. I kind of dropped hints that I didn't like it...she appeared to be annoyed that I would be upset at this...I didn't want to get too heavy at that point so I put up with it to an extent and we moved on with the night. We planned on gambling and I usually play blackjack. She usually doesn't gamble but recently discovered roulette and wanted to play that. Hank likes roulette also and my wife had figured she would play roulette with Hank while I played blackjack. Well, what she didn't count on is me deciding I would join her to play roulette as well. She got pissed off because she felt like I was now jealous and insecure and tailing her around to make sure she didn't "do anything" with Hank. While she wasn't entirely wrong on that, I didn't see why we couldn't all play roulette together. Hank seemed to be fine with that idea, but she got steamed and decided to ditch both me and Hank and walk to an adjoining casino. I tried to stop her but she was determined to get away from me at that time. She disappeared for a few hours while me and Hank played a few different games.... so, it's late now (3 am) and I text her she says she's playing roulette "alone". I'm concerned because she's on drugs and alcohol and want to find her. So Hank and I split up and said we'd look out and let each other know if we see her. He apparently runs into her and they hang for a minute near a casino lounge. She lost a lot of money gambling and is in a bad mood. Hank apparently (according to him) suggests they find me but wife apparently says I'm the last person she wants to see right now, because she was so mad at me for being jealous and watching over her and her interactions with Hank and she knew I'd be pissed about her losing so much money. While in that drug propelled mindset she supposedly indicates to Hank she wants to go back to the room...Hank claims that she said something like "wanna go back to the room and ****?" She claims it was said in jest/sarcastically while she was expressing her anger about me be jealous/insecure with me to him, like "hell, we should go back to the room and **** and just get it over with". Hank had told me this first, when we were alone at lunch the next day. Hank told me not to tell my wife that he told me. I was curious if my wife would tell me about it herself. Well, I had to sort of back into her telling me about it the next day when we were vaping in the bathroom all three of us together...there was some banter, she said something like she and Hank were similar (players) and implied they had some kinship and understood things that I didn't. It felt like she was slighting me and being disrespectful... I refuted some of what she was saying but there was this uncomfortable atmosphere (for me) as we're there in the bathroom. At one point, she shakes her head with a smirk and looks at Hank and says "man, he would have never even known." I said, "known what?" She chuckled and shook her head slightly...and tried to squirm out of it but I cornered her about what it was that "I never would have known."? and exactly what was said or done...ultimately, she told me about the let's go **** thing. Hank was there, concerned, but trying to look all innocent but at that point, my wife calls him out and says, "hey don't be fooled by Mr. innocent over there, showing me cock shots on your phone" and he blushes and I'm kind of shocked and just am dealing with this. I let Hank and my wife know I didn't appreciate it and that they needed to chill. It was somewhat awkward for the rest of that day...then Hank's girlfriend shows up and my wife starts gabbing to her, giving her some (but not all) details on the night before. Hank and I are concerned she's going to ruin/sabotage their new relationship. So my wife told her that she found Hank attractive etc. and that I was jealous of Hank. She didn't seem to take to kindly to what my wife was telling her, but we all managed to have a nice dinner and get through that night before retiring to our respective rooms for sexual shenanigans. We left the next day.

 

After getting home, the wife and I talked things over. I expressed my disappointment regarding her behavior and how I felt she disrespected me both in front of Hank and behind my back with Hank. While she did apologize and admitted she crossed the line a few times, she kept deflecting it back on me saying I was just jealous and insecure and she doesn't like that in a man etc. and that I need to just trust that she "would never do anything." I explained that the stuff she already did amounted to emotional cheating and I wouldn't stand for it...it took some more convincing but she finally seemed to take some accountability for her actions/statements and promise to chill out and not disrespect me and not flirt with my friends...I resolved not to put us into that situation by inviting a guy to stay with us and to be more attentive to her needs, sexually (apparently her libido has re-awoken after many years of hiatus). She says she loves me and wants me but also doesn't want to be held captive or treated like a child and told she can and can't do.

 

A week or so after the casino trip, I saw her on her phone and discovered she'd been texting (FB messenger) with Hank. Lots of it was tame bull****, but some of the texts got flirty and they exchanged some banter with some lightinnunendo (mostly coming from her side). Hank seemed more like a passive participant. I was mad and put my foot down and asked her to stop communicating with Hank. She said she is "amused" by Hank but won't do anything with him and I can't tell her what to do etc. She's very stubborn and free-willed and implied she might still text him but will try not to be flirty. That wasn't going to cut it with me at that point so I told her, I might not be able to tell her what to do but I know Hank will respect me enough to honor my request. So I told Hank to cut my wife off as far as any communication and as far as I know, they haven't been in touch with each other since (been a couple weeks now).

 

I have since stepped up my game and given her more of what she said she needed sexually and we seem to have in ways, come to a deeper understanding. She has seemingly moved past this episode and I'd like to as well, but I cannot yet get that suspicious feeling from creeping into my head. I demanded to see her phone the other day and she got mad but let me, saying I need to trust her and she can't be with me if I'm going to treat her this way...(I found nothing on the phone). I'd like to check her phone randomly but she has a password on it and won't give it to me. I dont' even want to be checking her phone or concerned about **** like this, but this is what its come to.

 

In ways I feel we've grown closer due to this episode, by talking all this out...we have recommitted and re-affirmed our love for each other, but I still question if I can trust her in certain situations. She claims it's my own insecurity and she wouldn't do anything, but I contend she has given reason for me to be concerned and not blindly trust her in every situation. Even if her intention wasn't to end up hooking up with Hank, the way she acted was inappropriate and disrespectful to me and with alcohol and drugs involved, anything can happen. I don't want that kind of thing to destroy my family (and/or friendship with Hank) and I think she agrees, yet stubbornly wants to be able to flirt or whatver if she wants to (while implying she won't do anything). I fear if I "let" her be completely unleashed, she will eventually do something that could be fatal to our marriage but she seems resistant to any hard boundries.

 

Sorry for the long post, and it could have been much longer! Anyone have any advice or suggestions or comments? Anyone had/have a similar situation?

[Marc878]

Ban Hank if you're smart.

[Marc878]

You phone bill will tell you all you need to know.

 

Trust me? Ignorance is bliss until it isn't

[Sparta]

OP you know you have something to worry about.!!! Your wife disrespectful and is on her way to have an offer no doubt about it. First of all your buddy showing her his dick pics come on dude that's totally disrespectful on both ends and you should be done with him as a friend all together. if that with my wife I don't care how good of a friend he is.! he should know better.! With him communicating with her as often as you say they are buddy you can't be so passive it is a proven fact Women despise week and passive man. You should start becoming more of an alpha male. and read the book no more Mr. nice guy. You do not appear stronger to her you can count on it he will cheat on you she's already on her way. Don't worry about what she thinks about her being an independent woman or any of that crap she'll start respecting you... The way she's acting you need to start turn things around and don't worry about her b!tching about anything remind her She's married to you.!

 

The other subject I want to bring up his her speed use.?! first of all have you ever done speed any form.? Do you know how speed affects people.? If you don't have a clue let me tell you how Hyper sexual people become once they are under the influence of that drug. If you plan on staying married to her!?! I would advise you talk to your wife about drug use. If you plan on staying married to your wife that will depend if she stopped taking that drug ASAP. I would even advise you to go talk to her doctor and discuss her latest behavior. If she does not reframe from or get clean off of speed she will cheat no doubt about it, if she hasn't already.??? You need to monitor your wife without her knowing check her phone wake up in the middle the night when she passed out find a way to get into her phone ASAP.! Everything she's up to will be on her phone. And keep posted here we will help walk you through this.

Edited April 20, 2017 by Sparta

[mikeylo]

Why is he still your friend ?

 

As it's a known fact, I'll repeat anyways. Men and women will flirt and chase others irrespective of their own and others relationship status. It's up to you to decide what you want to do with it. Many really low people will continue to chase even after rejection. It's hard being on the receiving end of this.

 

This guy and your wife are equal in this. If he initiated and she rejected but he persisted then you stand by her to get rid of him. But that's not the case here.

[lolablue17]

Well, your wife is directly on the highway to "there", if she is not there already.

Yes, she surly focused on that, and has all intention and desire to cheat on you. With or without your friend.

 

She has no problem lying to you or hiding things from you, she is flirty with another man. The fact that she's doing it even when you're around, tells me that she is hot and eager to have sex with another man, and she just can't stop even when you're around.

 

It may calm down, and it may increase. Only time will tell you that.

[kendahke]

She's going to destroy your marriage and break up your family. She is clearly on the road there. There really isn't much you can do about it since you don't want to administer serious consequences.

 

Perhaps Hank's girlfriend needs to see these texts she's been sending him. He's acting a little too much like butter couldn't melt in his mouth when he's been a prime instigator in a lot of this. If he hadn't greenlighted most of what your wife initiated, you wouldn't be where you are.

 

Yeah. Your wife is a problem. And I'd put Hank back in the past where he belongs. He can't be trusted around other men's women.

Edited April 20, 2017 by kendahke

[S2B]

Whoa... your wife totally disrespects you yet you make excuses for her bad behavior and stay with her?

 

Dude, she's messed up! Normal people don't take anpethamines and also pass them around to friends then act like a jerk to the person they love and married.

 

She has problems. You can't fix her.

 

The dude is NOT your friend. Your wife isn't acting like a wife.

 

You'd be better off getting rid of all of them and finding new friends that are decent people!

[Darren Steez]

Hank for president!

 

Did Hank spank? You may want to thank Hank for getting you to step your game up.

 

It seems Hank came up the flank and put some power moves right in your face.

 

You were shooting a blank in the love department but kudos to Hank for turning the tide.

 

The tale ranks right up there, all because of Hank.

[Space Ritual]

Hank is not the problem,

 

Your wife is.

 

Dude, Amphetamines? Really? And she is sharing them with your friend?

 

Now the FB chats?

 

You do realize that if it wasn't Hank it would be some other guy that paid her a modicum of attention. I will tell you I used to deal drugs back in the day, mostly cocaine an meth. t was pretty easy to get girls horny by throwing a couple of rails up their nose or cooking a rock or two for em.

 

Both are real good at making somebody extremely horny.

 

If what your wife is taking is Pharmaceuticals like Ativan I would really warn you that if she is drinking and taking Ativan that chances are if she was really hammered she would jump on a Stick Shift on a Camaro in a parking lot and go to town on it.

 

I am sorry, but combined with her statement about "Needs", the newfound weight loss, the Mid 40's crisis, asking the guy to bang and the FB chats you have yourself a whole Mess O Potamia with your wife.

 

Again, if you do not put your foot down and are prepared to follow up with consequences, she will run with this and you will find yourself doing the Pick Me Dance with a wigged out Wife. And you will lose.

 

You need to look at your phone bill, nip this in the but and assert yourself. This all happening in such a short period of time indicates that if Hank isn't DTF, that she will be more than happy to find some guy with her newfound sex appeal that will be.

 

Get her off the uppers man. She is train wreck waitng to happen. You gotta act like yesterday.

[Space Ritual]

In ways I feel we've grown closer due to this episode, by talking all this out...we have recommitted and re-affirmed our love for each other, but I still question if I can trust her in certain situations.

.

 

No you haven't. You are rugsweeping this. Look, maybe you want someone to tell you this will all be ok. That ain't gonna be me. The fact of the matter is she basically has put you on notice that she does not give a crap what you think. If this was my wife, She'd be out on her ass and told to not come back until she finished inpatient treatment.

 

Lay the hammer down or you'll regret it.

[gazupp]

OP you know you have something to worry about.!!! Your wife disrespectful and is on her way to have an offer no doubt about it. First of all your buddy showing her his dick pics come on dude that's totally disrespectful on both ends and you should be done with him as a friend all together. if that with my wife I don't care how good of a friend he is.! he should know better.! With him communicating with her as often as you say they are buddy you can't be so passive it is a proven fact Women despise week and passive man. You should start becoming more of an alpha male. and read the book no more Mr. nice guy. You do not appear stronger to her you can count on it he will cheat on you she's already on her way. Don't worry about what she thinks about her being an independent woman or any of that crap she'll start respecting you... The way she's acting you need to start turn things around and don't worry about her b!tching about anything remind her She's married to you.!

 

The other subject I want to bring up his her speed use.?! first of all have you ever done speed any form.? Do you know how speed affects people.? If you don't have a clue let me tell you how Hyper sexual people become once they are under the influence of that drug. If you plan on staying married to her!?! I would advise you talk to your wife about drug use. If you plan on staying married to your wife that will depend if she stopped taking that drug ASAP. I would even advise you to go talk to her doctor and discuss her latest behavior. If she does not reframe from or get clean off of speed she will cheat no doubt about it, if she hasn't already.??? You need to monitor your wife without her knowing check her phone wake up in the middle the night when she passed out find a way to get into her phone ASAP.! Everything she's up to will be on her phone. And keep posted here we will help walk you through this.

 

Appreciate your response! There's definitely an issue with my behaving like a beta sometimes. She has said in so many words in the recent past, how she'd like me to be more manly, "like I was"... but it's complicated. Her narcissistic personality and disability played a part in emasculating me.

 

Anyway, on the heels of this episode, I did make it clear that I won't stand for the stuff she was pulling on the trip and though she didn't like being told what to do, she agreed not to disrespect me like that again. I agreed to step up and be more of the man she wants. Per my request, Hank has blocked her on FB and as far as I know, there hasn't been any communication between them in since. Things have been pretty good since then (a few weeks) in most aspects.

 

I hear you on the amphetamines. I am aware of the effects you speak of and have convinced her that it's not a good idea to take them. Problem is the neurologist prescribed them for times when she's fatigued but needs to do stuff. So, if we go out or something, she may take it. This is a recent thing (last few months). Not that she gets out much with her chronic pain etc. Her psychiatrist also put her on daily benzos and an SSRI. I always try to caution her on the drugs she takes and she more or less listens.

[gazupp]

You phone bill will tell you all you need to know.

 

Trust me? Ignorance is bliss until it isn't

 

 

How will the phone bill tell me? Does it show what texts she got and sent? FB messenger? I don't think so. She's not really a big phone talker...she'd rather text/email.

[gazupp]

Ban Hank if you're smart.

 

 

I did ban Hank from communicating with her (he has always deferred to me as to how he is permitted to interact with her) and I am still maintaining my friendship with him (for now). We're old friends and have history we value... while he can be a player type, I think he's matured and would try not to do things to hurt me if he could help it. The dick pic he showed, he said was in response to her asking him how big his kok was. He found some rando big dick pic and just kind of showed her his phone and said "you asked, here it is"...but this was while I wasn't there so, still fishy. I mean I'm ok with a little bit of this kind of thing but she went too far and he was goaded into plahying along a little too much imo. Why would he tell me what she said about going to the room to phuk and why didn't he try to take her up on it if he was planning to try and bang her? I just don't think he would purposely do harm to me, but in these situations, with drugs and alcohol, flirtation can turn to hooking up, so it's still something I am wary of.

[gazupp]

Why is he still your friend ?

 

As it's a known fact, I'll repeat anyways. Men and women will flirt and chase others irrespective of their own and others relationship status. It's up to you to decide what you want to do with it. Many really low people will continue to chase even after rejection. It's hard being on the receiving end of this.

 

This guy and your wife are equal in this. If he initiated and she rejected but he persisted then you stand by her to get rid of him. But that's not the case here.

 

He's still my friend because I think she was the main instigator and, while he wasn't completely innocent, he did some things that showed he wasn't out to screw me (or my wife)...such as telling me what she said to him about going back to the room to phuk and asking me a few times what he wanted me to do in regards to her flirtations and his level of communication with her.

[gazupp]

Well, your wife is directly on the highway to "there", if she is not there already.

Yes, she surly focused on that, and has all intention and desire to cheat on you. With or without your friend.

 

She has no problem lying to you or hiding things from you, she is flirty with another man. The fact that she's doing it even when you're around, tells me that she is hot and eager to have sex with another man, and she just can't stop even when you're around.

 

It may calm down, and it may increase. Only time will tell you that.

 

Yeah, well she doesn't get out much at all so, her opportunities are limited, but obviously with the things she's said to me and her behavior, she's seeking something...I'm trying to give it to her so she doesn't feel like straying off, and it's ok so far, but like you say, time will tell.

[gazupp]

Hank for president!

 

Did Hank spank? You may want to thank Hank for getting you to step your game up.

 

It seems Hank came up the flank and put some power moves right in your face.

 

You were shooting a blank in the love department but kudos to Hank for turning the tide.

 

The tale ranks right up there, all because of Hank.

 

Haha! In a way, you're right when you say this may have helped. Her flirt with him, ultimately made me step up my game and show I'm a man and wouldn't permit this crap, which may be part of what she was seeking.

[gazupp]

She's going to destroy your marriage and break up your family. She is clearly on the road there. There really isn't much you can do about it since you don't want to administer serious consequences.

 

Perhaps Hank's girlfriend needs to see these texts she's been sending him. He's acting a little too much like butter couldn't melt in his mouth when he's been a prime instigator in a lot of this. If he hadn't greenlighted most of what your wife initiated, you wouldn't be where you are.

 

Yeah. Your wife is a problem. And I'd put Hank back in the past where he belongs. He can't be trusted around other men's women.

 

I have put my foot down and made it clear I won't tolerate her recent behavior. She seemed to acquiesce. I don't think Hank was an instigator, though he's not totally innocent.

[gazupp]

Whoa... your wife totally disrespects you yet you make excuses for her bad behavior and stay with her?

 

Dude, she's messed up! Normal people don't take anpethamines and also pass them around to friends then act like a jerk to the person they love and married.

 

She has problems. You can't fix her.

 

The dude is NOT your friend. Your wife isn't acting like a wife.

 

You'd be better off getting rid of all of them and finding new friends that are decent people!

 

That may very well be the advised path, but it's a lot easier said than done. We have two kids, and a life together. At this point we're trying to patch things up.

[gazupp]

Hank is not the problem,

 

Your wife is.

 

Dude, Amphetamines? Really? And she is sharing them with your friend?

 

Now the FB chats?

 

You do realize that if it wasn't Hank it would be some other guy that paid her a modicum of attention. I will tell you I used to deal drugs back in the day, mostly cocaine an meth. t was pretty easy to get girls horny by throwing a couple of rails up their nose or cooking a rock or two for em.

 

Both are real good at making somebody extremely horny.

 

If what your wife is taking is Pharmaceuticals like Ativan I would really warn you that if she is drinking and taking Ativan that chances are if she was really hammered she would jump on a Stick Shift on a Camaro in a parking lot and go to town on it.

 

I am sorry, but combined with her statement about "Needs", the newfound weight loss, the Mid 40's crisis, asking the guy to bang and the FB chats you have yourself a whole Mess O Potamia with your wife.

 

Again, if you do not put your foot down and are prepared to follow up with consequences, she will run with this and you will find yourself doing the Pick Me Dance with a wigged out Wife. And you will lose.

 

You need to look at your phone bill, nip this in the but and assert yourself. This all happening in such a short period of time indicates that if Hank isn't DTF, that she will be more than happy to find some guy with her newfound sex appeal that will be.

 

Get her off the uppers man. She is train wreck waitng to happen. You gotta act like yesterday.

 

I agree with most of what you say. I have let her know I won't tolerate this kind of thing going forward...but still feel like I need to watch her closely (her phone) to make sure...I know she hates that though and has a PW on her phone, so I can't really get free access.

[gazupp]

.

 

No you haven't. You are rugsweeping this. Look, maybe you want someone to tell you this will all be ok. That ain't gonna be me. The fact of the matter is she basically has put you on notice that she does not give a crap what you think. If this was my wife, She'd be out on her ass and told to not come back until she finished inpatient treatment.

 

Lay the hammer down or you'll regret it.

 

I did lay some things out and it has been ok so far, but we'll see.

[road]

I did ban Hank from communicating with her (he has always deferred to me as to how he is permitted to interact with her) and I am still maintaining my friendship with him (for now). We're old friends and have history we value... while he can be a player type, I think he's matured and would try not to do things to hurt me if he could help it. The dick pic he showed, he said was in response to her asking him how big his kok was. He found some rando big dick pic and just kind of showed her his phone and said "you asked, here it is"...but this was while I wasn't there so, still fishy. I mean I'm ok with a little bit of this kind of thing but she went too far and he was goaded into plahying along a little too much imo. Why would he tell me what she said about going to the room to phuk and why didn't he try to take her up on it if he was planning to try and bang her? I just don't think he would purposely do harm to me, but in these situations, with drugs and alcohol, flirtation can turn to hooking up, so it's still something I am wary of.

 

Dump Hank, now.

[Space Ritual]

I agree with most of what you say. I have let her know I won't tolerate this kind of thing going forward...but still feel like I need to watch her closely (her phone) to make sure...I know she hates that though and has a PW on her phone, so I can't really get free access.

 

I am so sorry Gazzup. The mere fact that she feels the need to PW her phone from her own husband is pretty much all you need to know.

 

Look, I know I am not the most diplomatic person on LS, but I have been here for 8 years. I have seen just about every type of infidelity situation come through this subforum in that time. And I totally get where you are coming from. At this point you do not know exactly what to believe. It is probably feeling like to you that your house is on fire and your wife is telling you that you just better get a garden hose to put it out.

 

I know you are wanting to hear something, in fact anything that will indicate to you that this is not really happening.

 

But happening it is.

 

I was a victim of it nearly 30 years ago. It happened under my nose between my fiance and my best friend.

 

I just wanted to let you know that her words at this stage mean absolutely nothing, and that her actions mean absolutely everything. Thus far she is showing you who she is. Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.

 

You should be forewarned that this may be just the tip of the iceberg. After pulling the stunt she did at the casino she should be bending over backwards in an effort to help protect her marriage. Sadly, her actions suggest the exact opposite.

 

Please please please act with decisiveness as soon as you can. I know it sounds cliche, but you must be willing to lose your marriage in order to save it.

 

I do not think your wife takes you or her vows seriously. I also hate to say that she probably has little to no respect for you as a human being the way she disrespected you to your face. She has had little to any consequence for her actions thus far and regards you more like an insecure roommate than a husband.

 

When people have no consequences for stepping over agreed upon boundaries, they have no motivation to dial their behavior back. It is imperative that you present her with concrete consequences for any untoward action.She is only going to gain her respect back for you if she sees you are seriously willing to follow through with those consequences.

 

In the interim, I really suggest you at least see a lawyer on your own to know what your rights are.

 

Secondly, if you have any information that you feel you should share with Hank's Girlfriend, you don't tell anyone you are going to do it, you just do it.

 

2 pairs of eyes on this situation is far better.

 

Again, I am sorry if I come across as harsh, but I've seen a hundred guys like you come here with a similar story and out of those the ones that end up surviving a heaping helping of Turd Burger like the one your wife is serving you on a platter are the ones that take swift and decisive action.

 

Good Luck

[gazupp]

I am so sorry Gazzup. The mere fact that she feels the need to PW her phone from her own husband is pretty much all you need to know.

 

Again, I am sorry if I come across as harsh, but I've seen a hundred guys like you come here with a similar story and out of those the ones that end up surviving a heaping helping of Turd Burger like the one your wife is serving you on a platter are the ones that take swift and decisive action.

 

Good Luck

 

Thanks, I know you're mostly right. RE: her phone, I have a mancave that is locked with a key that no one else has. She has asked me to tell her where the key is or to give her one and I haven't. It's my space. I also have a pattern lock on my cell that only I can unlock, just so if someone finds it they can't access my personal info. So, it could be tough to get her to give me her PW or remove it (unless I give her my key and.or phone unlock pattern?).

 

As far as taking action, Hank won't be around her (unless we're double dating) anymore and I let her know the stuff she pulled wouldn't be tolerated. I, in turn agreed to step up and give her more of what she wants. So far it's been cool...but I still wonder what else she may be up to.

[bubbaganoosh]

Problem is the neurologist prescribed them for times when she's fatigued but needs to do stuff. So, if we go out or something, she may take it. This is a recent thing (last few months). Not that she gets out much with her chronic pain etc. Her psychiatrist also put her on daily benzos and an SSRI. I always try to caution her on the drugs she takes and she more or less listens.

 

Go find another neurologist. He sounds more like a dealer then a doctor. Let him know she's sharing her meds when she gets her high and how she behaves when she's on it.

 

One other thing. Seems to me she's using her medical problems to her advantage and keeping you walking the tightrope. You better do something real quick top of the list is a new doctor.