Author TJReede Posted April 20, 2017 Author Share Posted April 20, 2017 As you can see every time you post the same thread, it just gets dumped back into this one. You can post 100 threads, rewording them, using a different name....you will still get the same answers. You have only two solutions, A) break up or B) put up with it. But now I know that he is or at least did talk to her about something really sexual from their relationship that he apparently still enjoys when I am not around.. should I try to talk to him about it? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 But now I know that he is or at least did talk to her about something really sexual from their relationship that he apparently still enjoys when I am not around.. should I try to talk to him about it? C'mon OP. Two months in and you're dealing with this? Yes, talk to him and he'll pull the wool over your eyes and in the process teach him that you'll tolerate BS. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 But now I know that he is or at least did talk to her about something really sexual from their relationship that he apparently still enjoys when I am not around.. should I try to talk to him about it? Yes, but you should approach this conversation with the understanding that you are the side chick and she is still his girlfriend... that kind of puts you on the losing end of all of this. A man who is done and done with an ex acts like it. There is no ambivalence, no confusion, no uncertainty. They behave as someone who is no longer dealing with someone else. She and him are still in a relationship. They are circling the wagons and you are on the outside looking in. That is the position from which you begin this conversation with him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TJReede Posted April 20, 2017 Author Share Posted April 20, 2017 Yes, but you should approach this conversation with the understanding that you are the side chick and she is still his girlfriend... that kind of puts you on the losing end of all of this. A man who is done and done with an ex acts like it. There is no ambivalence, no confusion, no uncertainty. They behave as someone who is no longer dealing with someone else. She and him are still in a relationship. They are circling the wagons and you are on the outside looking in. That is the position from which you begin this conversation with him. By the way - I don't know if it makes a difference, but even though they worked together and were friends, they only dated for about three months, she was still in love with him and then they hooked up again over a few weeks four months later and then we got together now I realize a week or two after their last time together.. he told her he couldn't return her feelings... and then he started dating me. It really has been so great and it feels like he does really, really care about me and that we are compatible.. I am so confused. Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 A guy looking at sex videos of his ex would be cheating to me. Especially when he is reminiscing about them with her. This is absolutely unacceptable and not worth a conversation to me. The relationship would be over. You can't trust this guy. No trust = no relationship. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 It's a sham......if he really really cared about you he wouldn't be talking to his ex. The guy is blowing smoke up yer butt hun. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 By the way - I don't know if it makes a difference, but No. It doesn't. even though they worked together and were friends, they only dated for about three months, she was still in love with him and then they hooked up again over a few weeks four months later and then we got together now I realize a week or two after their last time together.. he told her he couldn't return her feelings... and then he started dating me. It really has been so great and it feels like he does really, really care about me and that we are compatible.. I am so confused. A man who is done and done with an ex acts like it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 OP, You boyfriend's behavior is indicitave of one who will be more than happy to hook up with this other woman if you don't know about it. You have been only dating for a few months. This is usually the time when new couples can't get enough of each other. Your relationship sounds exactly the opposite. It's a no brainer. Get rid of him now or you'll regret it. This is pretty much as good as it's gonna get. Guys don't keep sex videos they make with exes unless they can wax poetically about them, "whack" poetically to them, show their buddies what a freak they used to date, use it for blackmail, or keep it in the hopes of having a replay of it in the flesh at some future point . I doubt he is using it for the blackmail part, your boyfriend is probably keeping it for all the other reasons. Seriously, end this stupidity now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Why would you date a guy whose taste runs to women who make sex videos? That just screams sleazy. And I'm sure he's seeing her and having sex if that's what she wants. Link to post Share on other sites
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