3 months later and still missing him

[bostonfan]

Hiii my name is Julie. I'm 27 years old. I was in a relationship for 5 years with my boyfriend. We lives together and had talked marriage and kids for down the road eventually. In January, he broke up with me. Completely blindsided me. I did not see it coming at all. He stated I had changed too much over the past couple of years as I used to have a drug problem and have now been in recovery for almost 2 years. He said sobriety changed me and he's been waiting for me to relapse for months so I can be happy around him again. He does not understand addiction but he did support me the best way he could. But I don't think he fully got how bad my life was before I got sober and how I went through a lot of things that changed me. Now, my point of this post is that its been avout 3 months that we've been broken up and I am so heartbroken over it still. We've known eachother since we were 14 years old not only did I lose a boyfriend but I lost my best friend along with his family who i considered to be my family. I recently found out he's been seeing someone else and he started seeing her right after we broke up if not ehile we were still together. In the past when something bad would happen to me i would just get drunk or high and that is not even on my mind right now at all but I don't know how to deal with these feelings. I'm so depressed all I want to do is sleep. I know time heals all wounds and I know 3 months is not a long time at all but I just feel like I'm getting worse as more time passes. I miss him so much. I cry myself to sleep every night and I'm just an emotional mess pretty much all the time.

[TheyCallMeOx]

You're not getting worse. After all, you used to be addicted to drugs and alcohol. This is a moment where you're likely to relapse due to all the emotions...but you're not doing that. If that's not getting better, then I don't know what is! You should be really proud of yourself! And let your battle against drug addiction be a testament to how strong you're capable of being. You're claiming to be depressed because you lost a big part of you. That's to be expected, and you understand that it's just a matter of time until things get better. However, I strongly encourage you to use your emotional strength that you've built up from battling an addiction to bettering yourself overall. Don't let a breakup hold you back, and realize...your ex is moving on. Why shouldn't you?

 

You've got good things going for yourself. Don't let a person hold you back; especially since they're not letting you hold them back.

[LostOnes05]

I just wanted to say congratulations on your sobriety. Keep up the amazing work!! But just like you let drinking and getting high go, use those same steps to overcome the feelings you have for this guy. He is gone and when you think about it, good riddance. He wanted you to be in a state of mind (or stupor) that gave him control over you. Who in their right mind would honestly want their girlfriend to relapse so that they could have fun again??! That's pretty messed up, in my humble opinion. You can overcome this though. Best of luck and congrats again on your sobriety.