rushed Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 It's kind of telling when you're happy that he works a lot so you don't have to spend time with him. Let him know that his yelling is intimidating and scary. It is also not conducive to progressing any discussion. Of course he has to have an open mind in order for him to understand this. I used to be a yeller. One of the things that would stop me in my tracks is when I'd be yelling at my kids and my daughter would look at me calmly and say, "Why are you yelling?" In regards to having to attend each other's family's functions, why is this necessary? I'd never make my boyfriend come with me to any of my family's events if he didn't want to. Nor would he make me come to his if I didn't want to. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Spring23 Posted April 26, 2017 Author Share Posted April 26, 2017 It's kind of telling when you're happy that he works a lot so you don't have to spend time with him. Let him know that his yelling is intimidating and scary. It is also not conducive to progressing any discussion. Of course he has to have an open mind in order for him to understand this. I used to be a yeller. One of the things that would stop me in my tracks is when I'd be yelling at my kids and my daughter would look at me calmly and say, "Why are you yelling?" In regards to having to attend each other's family's functions, why is this necessary? I'd never make my boyfriend come with me to any of my family's events if he didn't want to. Nor would he make me come to his if I didn't want to. I've told him it's scary. He tries to stop. His temper has gotten him bad feedback at work as well. He knows I'm not going to leave him so I guess the consequences for yelling at me aren't too bad. He gets to take his frustrations out and then I'm very stand-offish for about a week and then I forget. The good outweighs the bad in my marriage. But, yes, I'd rather be home alone with my dog than spend time with my husband or my mother. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 26, 2017 Share Posted April 26, 2017 I get that animals are great company, but I despair for you if you'd rather spend time with your dog than your husband. If this is the case, he can't have many good qualities. Why can't you leave him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Spring23 Posted April 26, 2017 Author Share Posted April 26, 2017 I get that animals are great company, but I despair for you if you'd rather spend time with your dog than your husband. If this is the case, he can't have many good qualities. Why can't you leave him? He does have good qualities. Lots. He's kind (when not yelling), he's honest, he shares some of my interests and he does love and care for me. At this point in my life I'm just getting too tired of the yelling that staying home alone in a peaceful environment is better than hanging out with someone who might yell at me at any moment. It's uncomfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted April 26, 2017 Share Posted April 26, 2017 I've told him it's scary. He tries to stop. His temper has gotten him bad feedback at work as well. It sounds like he can benefit from taking anger management class. But, yes, I'd rather be home alone with my dog than spend time with my husband or my mother. This is most unfortunate. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Spring23 Posted April 26, 2017 Author Share Posted April 26, 2017 It sounds like he can benefit from taking anger management class. He won't attend anger management or counseling of any sort. It's fine. I accepted his temper when we got married. Nothing is perfect. Link to post Share on other sites
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