Author vickyp Posted April 25, 2017 Author Share Posted April 25, 2017 Slowing trying to get to that point. Thank you for the feed back 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 I understand. By doing things that make you happy? Not so much doing things that make you happy but seeking depth. As I said therapy is a good start. Self-reflection is important. Start a journal to help you track your emotional and mental progress. Educate yourself on what rebuilding confidence and self-esteem entails -- read, apply and practice. Delve back into what gave you contentment -- passions, hobbies, volunteerism, etc. Travel on your own -- it's a huge confidence booster. Learn to love and find comfort in your company. The focal point is internal. Use the time to reinvent yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vickyp Posted April 25, 2017 Author Share Posted April 25, 2017 You want to know whats sick? When i was on break, co workers would want to chat. So of course i would. I mean, i spend 40 hrs a week with them. But once he called, i had to stop talking to them, and talk to him. If not he would get mad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vickyp Posted April 25, 2017 Author Share Posted April 25, 2017 Not so much doing things that make you happy but seeking depth. As I said therapy is a good start. Self-reflection is important. Start a journal to help you track your emotional and mental progress. Educate yourself on what rebuilding confidence and self-esteem entails -- read, apply and practice. Delve back into what gave you contentment -- passions, hobbies, volunteerism, etc. Travel on your own -- it's a huge confidence booster. Learn to love and find comfort in your company. The focal point is internal. Use the time to reinvent yourself. Thank you mentor 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vickyp Posted April 26, 2017 Author Share Posted April 26, 2017 I wish right now that I didn't have morals and have a one night stand. This pain is killing me Link to post Share on other sites
Author vickyp Posted April 27, 2017 Author Share Posted April 27, 2017 So I'm sitting outside enjoying the sun in my face, when it happened. My ex just texted me " did you private call me" I have been NC now since Sunday. Since he didn't give a rats a*** about my dad. I'm not texting back. I'm gaining control now. I really want to thank everyone especially Zahara for giving me advice and explaining how screwed up people are. Thanks guys Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 So I'm sitting outside enjoying the sun in my face, when it happened. My ex just texted me " did you private call me" I have been NC now since Sunday. Since he didn't give a rats a*** about my dad. I'm not texting back. I'm gaining control now. I really want to thank everyone especially Zahara for giving me advice and explaining how screwed up people are. Thanks guys I told you he would -- the behaviors of people like him are predictable. I hope you stay NC and keep strong. You deserve better than this clown. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vickyp Posted April 27, 2017 Author Share Posted April 27, 2017 I will be strong. I will be NC. I know I deserve someone who loves me for me. Thank you. But my offer stands Zahara if you visit Canada, drinks on me Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 I will be strong. I will be NC. I know I deserve someone who loves me for me. Thank you. But my offer stands Zahara if you visit Canada, drinks on me I'll take you up on it if I am ever headed your way! Stay strong. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vickyp Posted April 27, 2017 Author Share Posted April 27, 2017 Update 4 hrs after text he called he called LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 Please don't reply. Also, this contact is going to give you an ego boost. A temporary high, which is what you're feeling now. Once he stops, and you realize he's gone again, you'll hit another low. Just be prepared for it because this is another reason why blocking is encouraged. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vickyp Posted April 28, 2017 Author Share Posted April 28, 2017 Well another update that loser just called me again with a "private number" and I know it's him because only a few people have my number. I called my cell provider and they can't do anything. The only thing I can do is change my number. Like what a pi** off. Zahara I get what your saying about the "high" yes your right I had it. But I am not going back to my low point again. Yes the pain is there but I keep reminding myself of all the names I was called, and not replying about my dad. That is what is making me push on. Down deep inside I know I'm a strong person. I have the past to prove it, and that's also what is motivating me to push on. Thank you for your concern. Reading other people's post having you guys explain things to me just shows me how screwed up people are, and if someone can't appreciate who I am or what I can offer, they can go f themselves 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vickyp Posted April 28, 2017 Author Share Posted April 28, 2017 If that loser private calls me again, then yes I'm going to change my number. Not gonna lie it's making me feel uneasy. Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 Please stay strong. Your emotions may go up and down, but just know that if you start to feel weak, do not act! Come here instead and post. I guarantee you that it will pass and you'll be even stronger than before. You will get past this! You (and all of us here) deserve so much better and now is the time to work on ourselves to figure out why we DO settle and accept bad behavior. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vickyp Posted April 28, 2017 Author Share Posted April 28, 2017 Please stay strong. Your emotions may go up and down, but just know that if you start to feel weak, do not act! Come here instead and post. I guarantee you that it will pass and you'll be even stronger than before. You will get past this! You (and all of us here) deserve so much better and now is the time to work on ourselves to figure out why we DO settle and accept bad behavior. Thank you for your encouragement. I know why I settle for bad behavior. I met a con artist who at first thought was amazing, then boom real colors come out. If anything 1fish right now I want to rip his eyes out LOL! Be strong Link to post Share on other sites
Author vickyp Posted April 28, 2017 Author Share Posted April 28, 2017 I really want to text him to stop private calling me. But I know it's a bad idea. It would be opening up a can of worms and breaking NC. He also knows that private callers scare me. I really hate people Link to post Share on other sites
PinkPampies Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 Why can't you block his number on your phone? You're going to drive yourself crazy wondering when he's going to text next or call. If you truly want to move on then go full no contact. Trust me I employed strict NC and it certainly helped me move on and reach indifference. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 I really want to text him to stop private calling me. But I know it's a bad idea. It would be opening up a can of worms and breaking NC. He also knows that private callers scare me. I really hate people Then I am not sure why you are staying open to his contact. It's not his responsibility to stay NC. It is yours and if this contact is going to drive you crazy, block him. And if it's going to risk you making contact, then block him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vickyp Posted April 28, 2017 Author Share Posted April 28, 2017 You guys are right. Can't live in fear. Calling my company to block his number. You guys are great. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vickyp Posted April 28, 2017 Author Share Posted April 28, 2017 I'm so glad I found this forum. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vickyp Posted May 5, 2017 Author Share Posted May 5, 2017 When is this rain going to stop? It's making me depressed Link to post Share on other sites
Author vickyp Posted May 5, 2017 Author Share Posted May 5, 2017 Zahara, how you doing? Link to post Share on other sites
Author vickyp Posted May 16, 2017 Author Share Posted May 16, 2017 Hi guys, so last week my dad ended up passing away, and I broke the nc rule and contacted that loser. He was supportive all last week, listened to me cry, and go threw the emotions, then Sunday we were discussing something and boom. He got mad at me for not liking how I worded a statement and just told me off on the phone, after from not hearing from him since Sunday. So anyone reading this, don't break the NC rule and I was doing so good after 3 weeks of it. It's hard the first week but it gets easier, and I should of listened and stayed on the nc path. So please don't make the same mistake. Listen to people here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vickyp Posted May 16, 2017 Author Share Posted May 16, 2017 I made a statement of " this has nothing to do with you, so why am I discussing it with you" is how it started Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 16, 2017 Share Posted May 16, 2017 So sorry to hear about your Dad. This must be terribly painful for you and your family so my heart goes out to y'all. Don't be hard on yourself for contacting your ex during crisis. Just go back to NC and stick to it this time. Link to post Share on other sites
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