Andrew84 Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 Hello all my name is Andrew and I've been together with my now wife for 10 years. I'm not at all jealous of her "past lovers", I actually think the more partners some one has (safely) the better. Anyways we had the talk of how many people were you with. I told her 14 which is true for myself and she quickly said yeah I've probably had around the same as you. Shortly after she then said well I've probably just dated more people than you. I've always wondered if she's actually telling me the truth or not. Would like to get people's "serious" opinions on this. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 The Number is a can of worms. Knowing never leads to any good. Accept the # she gave you as gospel & move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Andrew84 Posted April 23, 2017 Author Share Posted April 23, 2017 The Number is a can of worms. Knowing never leads to any good. Accept the # she gave you as gospel & move on. I have accepted the number she's told me. If she was lying and the truth was 100 guys it wouldn't bother me at all. Just curious on people's opinions. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 (edited) No good can come of asking numbers. But I agree with you that in general, I think the more exploration someone has done, the better. For one thing, it's like house hunting. The longer you look, the more you refine what you really want. Also most people finally get it out of their system and then are really ready to settle down. If you're asking if 14 and above is high, it isn't to me or any of the people who have been my friends for decades, but it kind of depends on what age a person is. I mean, if I'm 40 and I've slept with 30 guys, that's just a little over one a year. If I'm 20 and I've slept with 30 guys, I'm on a bit of a bender! And I think you already know that how many people you've slept with has nothing to do with whether you can or will be faithful. So the important thing is what were their committed relationships like, the ones that counted, the ones that required being faithful and working to get along. And of course, that's a much smaller number. One thing I've found ironic on Loveshack posts on this subject is that everyone knows what a numbers game OLD is. You can go out with 100 people and still not find one that's a match, but the same generation is very judgy about numbers. But before internet, flirtation and getting to know someone and dates and hookups were all done face to face. And though it's a little more likely to find a match in real life, it's still a numbers game of dating a lot to find one good match. And at least for women, in the process, nearly every young woman has been lied to and charmed and used for sex and then discarded over and over, which doesn't happen to men. So there's going to be numbers. Edited April 23, 2017 by preraph Link to post Share on other sites
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