iloveboston Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 This question has perplexed me for the longest and i will try to keep it short and sweet. Married woman who happens to be older than me would always flirt with me such as looking at me in amusement. Frequently compliment me aswell. It got to the point where the married woman, who is a family friend, put her ass on my crouch. Got to the point where we would stare into each others eyes and she would start panting. I know she was attracted to me but she never took it a step further. I no longer talk to her, since to me she is an attention whore but my question is simple. Is it possible that she was just using me for her attention fix or validation? Why would you play games like that? Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 For attention. Either b/c they like the attention they receive having no intention of reciprocating or they are not getting the positive attention from their husbands and seeking more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author iloveboston Posted April 24, 2017 Author Share Posted April 24, 2017 so now the woman in question looks like a promiscuous flirt to me regardless of what her intention was. Ruined her own reputation trying to get attention. Real classy of her!! Thanks for the reply Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 You said she was panting at you.... Please don't tell me you took that seriously in any way shape or form?! Sorry but I think she was just messing about and you had a sense of humour lapse and took it seriously. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 I'm a married woman & I flirt because I'm a flirty person. But my flirtations are PG-rated & do not involved touching. Some woman putting her ass on your crotch is crossing a lot of lines. That's vulgar. Steer clear of her. She's most likely doing it because she needs the attention & either thinks her marital status will keep you from responding or she's looking to cheat. Either way that's drama you don't need. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 I guess you are wrongly assuming she is attracted to you. That totally outrageous flirting behaviour is usually reserved for guys who are often NOT that attractive and often younger too as a joke or for guys who are maybe seen as arrogant or too cocky, in order to bring them down a peg. Either way you need to forget it as being a sign of actual interest. Many married or attached women indulge in "safe" flirting. If the guy gets the wrong idea she can always pull the "but I am married/ I have a bf" card. Any woman seriously looking for an affair is not going to look deep into someone's eyes and start panting, that is a obvious joke... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 She's flirting and panting over you because she is no longer sexually attracted to her husband and wants something new - you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Attention , validation , affair or exiting the marriage and making you the guy to land on once the divorce begins. Either way, if you have a gf , flaunt her. A decent person would stay clear of a taken person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 This question has perplexed me for the longest and i will try to keep it short and sweet. Married woman who happens to be older than me would always flirt with me such as looking at me in amusement. Frequently compliment me as well. It got to the point where the married woman, who is a family friend, put her ass on my crouch. Yep, pretty interesting isn't it. Got to the point where we would stare into each others eyes and she would start panting. I know she was attracted to me but she never took it a step further. Could be but hard to know since we can't read minds. I no longer talk to her, since to me she is an attention whore but my question is simple. Is it possible that she was just using me for her attention fix or validation? Possible, among many other possibilities. Why would you play games like that? IME, because they can and feel like it. I've seen the gamut and my takeaway is they like it, the feeling, not necessarily me the person, and the person is merely a tool to get to the feeling. Billions of persons on the planet to use as tools. The specifics are as diverse as the married women involved. Some are serial adulteresses, some are mentally ill, some are substance abusers/self-medicators, some like attention, some enjoy liking the attention multiple men at the same time, some like being liked, including by both men and women, some simply can't be alone so if their partner is absent or distant, they seek out another ostensible partner to replace them temporarily. Over a liftetime, I'd opine that the mentally ill and substance abuse issues seem to be the most common. Alcoholics and BP1/2 were the most often encountered in my experience and generally the most aggressive. However, that may be skewed somewhat by the first and most painful experience and introduction to this dynamic at a young age. Oh, lastly, having been married, there's also a more straightforward reason, partner replacement, meaning the married lady flirting with you is looking for another partner and is in the process of, or already has achieved, detachment from their existing partner/spouse and is 'thinking' the relationship or marriage with an eye on exit and is interviewing candidates for the next iteration. Some never do this, some do it a few times, some do it a lot. Depends on the person. My advice? Don't take women seriously, remove them from any pedestal of romance you might have them on, and seek to be less surprised by and more accepting of any behaviors you encounter. If any exceed your boundaries, do what you suggested and cease contact. Myself, being an older divorced guy with no aspirations to reproduce or have a 'forever' spouse anymore, I just play with them. It's fun. No sex, no harm, no foul, live a little. YMMV. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 (edited) Some people are just naturally gregarious and flirtatious. When you're a woman, you have to curb that or you get in one mess after another with guys thinking just because you talked or teased that you want them. When you're married, you have a ready excuse for why it's not going to go any further. So if you're that type of person who enjoys that but doesn't really want to take it further (as you said about her liking attention), then this is the result. I have a friend like that. She has to get everyone's attention and be desired. It's a sickness. Reminded me of a story. This is the lowest thing on this subject I've ever seen: a man using his baby to flirt with women. My girlfriend and I went to my favorite restaurant and were just leaving through the lobby and another party were down there. The wife handed the baby to the husband and turned around to visit the ladies room. As soon as she was in the bathroom, he put the baby on his head and walked right up to my friend and just stood real close, right up in her face, inches away, staring at her, obviously having done this successfully many times before and was assured that she couldn't just ignore him since he had a baby on his head, though I would have. I just thought it was disgusting. Edited April 24, 2017 by preraph Link to post Share on other sites
Author iloveboston Posted April 24, 2017 Author Share Posted April 24, 2017 hahaha im a fool. No i was just looking in amusement like what kind of game is this silly bleep playing. She is the one that has problems although i am the fool. Thank You for taking your time to reply! Link to post Share on other sites
Author iloveboston Posted April 24, 2017 Author Share Posted April 24, 2017 Very interesting perspective. Made me think about it alot! Link to post Share on other sites
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