From nothing to marriage

[linz1992]

I will try to condense this as much as I can, I dated Jake for a long time, he was my best friend, my soulmate, we made wedding plans...before he decided to abruptly end our relationship, from may to august 2016 I tried to make it work, And we were on/off, I get we were not in a stable relationship but we would but I wanted us to workout, one day he loved me the next he wasn't crazy about me.

 

We finally parted ways, I did my thing (dated one guy) and he did his (dated another girl), in October 2016 after two months of no contact he reached out to apologize for breaking up with me, and that he was truly sorry for everything he put me through.

I am not one to give second chances easily but I gave Jake a second chance, up until this day he is a changed man and has gone above and beyond and is a way better boyfriend than he was the first time around (I did play a little hard to get to be honest), we talked about everything and I was aware he dated a girl 'Nicole' for those two months we didn't have contact.

 

In November, a month after I took him back I found out Jake slept with his ex (girl he dated before me ashlyn) During the time we were on/off which hurts because that's when I Thought we were trying to workout.

 

 

Is it cheating while we were on/off?

He recently proposed marriage to me and I said Yes! but I can't seem to forgive him for sleeping with his ex during a time we were trying to fix our relationship...I'm in constant fear that he will cheat on me although he's been nothing but perfect since we got back together. He has expressed great regret for all the the hurt he caused me then but I can't forget.

 

What is Your advice?

I think time will help me forget eventually but the past is absorbing me too much.

[springy]

In November, a month after I took him back I found out Jake slept with his ex (girl he dated before me ashlyn) During the time we were on/off which hurts because that's when I Thought we were trying to workout.

 

Is it cheating while we were on/off?

He recently proposed marriage to me and I said Yes! but I can't seem to forgive him for sleeping with his ex during a time we were trying to fix our relationship...I'm in constant fear that he will cheat on me although he's been nothing but perfect since we got back together. He has expressed great regret for all the the hurt he caused me then but I can't forget.

 

What is Your advice?

I think time will help me forget eventually but the past is absorbing me too much.

 

On/off is not a relationship. You thought you were working things out, but did he? I would be more concerned about the instability of one day I love you, the next I don't.

 

If you cannot get past it/forgive him and don't trust him, it would be a horrible idea to start making wedding plans. This is all about what you can get past, regardless of what tag you put on it (cheating, not cheating, etc.).

 

If you cannot put the past behind you and focus on the present where you say he's been fabulous, this is not going to be a pleasant relationship/marriage for either of you.

[AT15]

He's putting a ring on it. Let the past go, you guys are embarking on something totally new.