Is there a chance she will come back?

[Ronnys93]

That's not the point. The point is if there's absolutely no hope for reconciliation in a near future

 

The truth is that none of us know this for sure. You could meet with her again 20 years from now and possibly end up back together and married. That's not the point. The point is that you live in RIGHT now, and right now you are both separated. If you want to be friends, then be friends with her but don't expect anything more than that. And don't even think about possibly changing her mind through the friendship that's scheming and it wont work. Focus on yourself, work on healing, and then start seeing other people. If you both are meant to be it'll happen. But the point is that you can't seriously count on that right now.

[ExpatInItaly]

That's not the point. The point is if there's absolutely no hope for reconciliation in a near future

 

It's not very likely, no.

 

She's a teen who outgrew her relationship.

[JDinis1]

I'm not a mess. I write these things when I'm down but I'm not like this 24/7. I have learned a lot since the breakup. And I'm not ill equipped. This girl broke ir off because we drifted apart, not because she outgrew me. Ok I will move on. It's hard but that is what I will do.

[JDinis1]

You are a mess young man. I remember being 18 but never have I been like this. People posting about an 18year old girl being confused? She sounds like she has some sense and broke it off with someone that is ill equipped to be in a relationship. You may be one day but from your posts, I doubt that you will be for a while.

 

This will probably not be your last break up. You are 18 and have a lot to learn.

 

Ok I have a lot to learn and you shouldn't be so arrogant and quick to judge. No I'm not ill equipped.

[Titanll]

Oh sorry there young man, I didn't realize that you two had drifted apart. I assumed from your posts that she dumped you.

 

But you got some fire in you so use that. Keep your chin up and move on. If you were needy, jealous, or clingy, you can learn to not be that way and the sooner you let those things go the better. 18 or 68 those qualities are not attractive at any age.

 

If you are dumped again, you can be assured that the girl doing it actually means it. I doubt any amount of begging you do will win her back. There's no strategy to employ, you just accept it move on.

[JDinis1]

We started drifting apart. We started seeing each other less because there were a lot of other things going on (school work mostly). We both dealt with that the wrong way. She stopped investing as much and the relationship and when I realized that I was insecure and needy when that she needed was space. Eventually the relationship gone stale. She did dump me at that point. We both made mistakes and we both assumed our share of the blame but ultimately the timing was the thing that screwed us up.

[Ronnys93]

We started drifting apart. We started seeing each other less because there were a lot of other things going on (school work mostly). We both dealt with that the wrong way. She stopped investing as much and the relationship and when I realized that I was insecure and needy when that she needed was space. Eventually the relationship gone stale. She did dump me at that point. We both made mistakes and we both assumed our share of the blame but ultimately the timing was the thing that screwed us up.

 

I guess my question here for you then is what makes you think that the relationship wont go stale again if you were to get back together? The thing that I don't think you're really seeing is that you may not have had a thing to do with your breakup. Sometimes people are just really not that into you. (even if they may think they are) Otherwise they would stay and try to make it work. Timing could be a factor but you're both still young (as am I) and it's not a good idea to focus on timing because you have no control over that. Do you understand what I'm getting at?

Edited May 18, 2017 by Ronnys93

[JDinis1]

I do understand. There was a time in which I knew she was that into me. She used to tell me sometimes that she never thought she would like someone so much at this age. There were also other moments that make me sure she was in love with me. She switched school last year in november. We were well for a while, we were both trying hard. Between studying a lot, exams and everything we stopped seeing each other as much. Then came the staleness and lack of excitement. The school year is almost over and in the summer things would change as we have more time. But I made a mistake by trying to tell her that. I told her that I was moving on but at the same time thought the problems that wrecked us could be solved( don't know if that counts as begging). She was happy that I was moving on and that there were no heart feelings. She also said that circumstances could change but she didn't want to create any expectations and told me not too as well. I finally understood that there's nothing I can do to get her back. I will just move on.

[Glhx]

Take this for what it is.

It is only my personal opinion and may be disregarded by others

 

Space:

I don't want your company

I don't want to be around you right now....something has changed

 

Your needy.....doubt it. She might have been neglecting you and your neediness was a reaction to her actions

 

Space.........the peaceful transfer of emotions from one person to another without you getting in the way while keeping you on the sidelines and manipulating you to want them more to boost their ego while they give want they gave you to another person.

 

My ex also asked for space. Upon reading for a long time about breakups, affairs, relationship problems. 9 times out of 10 it was cheating or feeling for another person.....usually for several months before they left you.

When she asked for space.....I should have walked out forever. I would now with no intentions of ever letting myself be treated like that again.

 

My self respect is more important

 

Why do I let someone control how I feel. What's missing inside me that she has and why cant I love myself. Trust me.....they will love you more when you have this ......because you won't need them.

 

Space.......when she told me she wanted space I asked her who she was cheating on me with. As she got mad and denied it for months.

Well......months...

 

Wel

 

Yeah

 

Months

 

Yeah

 

Denied it

 

Ok

 

 

And then his wife called me up and told me my ex was sleeping with her husband.

 

Like I said.......find why you need this person. Do it now......the next 20 years won't be anything different.

 

Let your suffering teach you

 

Every break up and every person who treats you this way

 

They have a message for you to fix in your life.

Also

 

 

Study narcissism.......you will be better off to not run into one of these. You never see them coming and they will ruin your life.

When I see cheating.....don't know if yours did. But I see narcissism in people, who cheat.

 

Yeah......she was glad you moved on. They hate it when someone gets in the way.

 

Next thing you know she will want to be friends.

 

Remember this.....you get what you negotiate.

If you want a lover in a person.....expect that or walk

 

If you want a friend....you will never get s lover.

Never ever settle for less than what you want.

 

Lol.....my ex after 7 years of being in a relationship asked me to be just friends......your not going to believe what I told her.

Yeah......you would believe what I told her. Same thing you should if you get asked that.

 

Stay alpha and never fully give yourself over.

 

Learn about co dependence and 1 sided relationships.

Edited May 23, 2017 by Glhx

[JDinis1]

Wow that was useless... So many BS:sick: