Beautywithin Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 So quick recap! Last year a close friendship with a co worker started, looking back I can now see it was an EA it lasted 8 months, one day he just blanked me this went on for 5 months not a word was spoken, having to work and see someone you were once so close to ( destroyed me ) and I've no idea how I've carried on working there so long every day has been a battle. Xmas time (works do ) he finally spoke to me after 5 months, basically saying he was starting to fall in love with me ( he has a gf ) and had to do the right thing, that I could understand, but why he couldn't be pleasant at work I have no idea, we agreed that from then on we would say hi every now and again, roll on nearly 5 months and he still hasn't said anything to me since December! Anyway, it has become a little easier but I know as long as I have to see him, he will never be out of my mind, I'm starting my new job in 2 weeks, and I don't no if I should approach him and say goodbye for my own peace of mind, a part of me thinks, why bother, when all this time he can't even say Hello to me anymore, so should I say goodbye, or just leave quietly ? Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 Just leave. It's better for both of you. A final goodbye won't actually make you feel better. It hurts losing your friend but he's trying to do the right thing. If you can quietly move on and just forget about it that's best. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
BTDT2012 Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 Just leave. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FoundMyStrength Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 I agree, just leave. There really isn't anything more to say. It sounds like he got whatever closure he needed at the Xmas party and he's been ignoring you ever since. They only thing talking to him will do is open up all the pain again, undoing whatever progress you've made the past 5 months. I'm sorry this happened to you. While it was probably necessary for him to break the connection to move on, he did so in a particularly cold and cruel way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 Just leave. Keep your dignity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 My guess is that his gf found out and stopped him talking to you, or someone he knows, even someone at work maybe told him to stop talking to you or they would tell the gf, or he just decided himself that he did not want to risk his relationship, or some other reason? Who knows? But he made it pretty plain over the last 5 months, he no longer wants to have anything more to do with you, so I see no point in saying a fond farewell to him. Link to post Share on other sites
WarriorBabe Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 When he decided to pull away, did he give you an explanation? No. So why do you think he deserves one? If you're done then walk away and do not look back. He has made his decision to be with his gf. Link to post Share on other sites
starswewillnavigate Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 Just leave... final goodbyes are never as satisfying in reality as they are in our minds. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GeekLover Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 I'm with everyone else...just leave quietly. It isn't worth making it a big deal, especially when it's uncertain whether you leaving will have much of an impact anyway (sorry). My dumper sent me a "final goodbye" email, and you know what my initial reaction was? I laughed. It seemed so melodramatic, attention seeking, and weak. Don't give him that last impression of you. Walk out with your head high and your dignity intact. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 So quick recap! Last year a close friendship with a co worker started, looking back I can now see it was an EA it lasted 8 months, one day he just blanked me this went on for 5 months not a word was spoken, having to work and see someone you were once so close to ( destroyed me ) and I've no idea how I've carried on working there so long every day has been a battle. Xmas time (works do ) he finally spoke to me after 5 months, basically saying he was starting to fall in love with me ( he has a gf ) and had to do the right thing, that I could understand, but why he couldn't be pleasant at work I have no idea, we agreed that from then on we would say hi every now and again, roll on nearly 5 months and he still hasn't said anything to me since December! Anyway, it has become a little easier but I know as long as I have to see him, he will never be out of my mind, I'm starting my new job in 2 weeks, and I don't no if I should approach him and say goodbye for my own peace of mind, a part of me thinks, why bother, when all this time he can't even say Hello to me anymore, so should I say goodbye, or just leave quietly ? LEAVE! This guy isn't worth it and he isn't 'in love' with you. Look how he's treated you? Why on earth would you want to say goodbye to a man who was using you and treating you like crap? Let him go quietly and grieve the loss. Find the love and respect for yourself so you can see that he's not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
freengreen Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 Whoa! So much similarity in my story and yours!.. including time frames!! The only difference is that after he came back he stayed for another 4 months.... I wish those 4 months dint happen because all it was, was extra pain. If you can, say the last goodbye already.. you might miss him a little bit ( already in silence from him) but you will see the releif mentally. You can focus on so much more than waiting for a text/call and anticipating his reply. Goodluck Link to post Share on other sites
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