parents strict about going out

[joel]

ok llets say u live with ur folks college student-24 yrs asian guy old, and ur parents don't let u go out a night time-b/c they are strict-they want u to study-even in the daytime, but less wise in the daytime-as i can say i go to the library-6pm the library closes so i have no more excuses, they want u to study all day and night and even-weekends too. i live at home and yea they are strict

 

i kinda of want to ask this girl out, what do i do? one strategy was to tell the girl i work at night time a lot, and day times are free-except for the days i go to school, so pretty much saturday like afternoons.-tell folks i go to libary and for like 2 hrs hang out with the girl or so anymore excuses or anything

 

i don;t want to tell the girl-well ah my parents don't let me go out at night time-ah she'll think and laugh right hahhaha, yea and its unheard of. for some reason my parents are so strict-school and career is number one and they don;t care about anything else. freinds or gf or sports they don;t even want me to have or participate, nothing just school school and all of it. what do i do. my parents are old school and old fashioned and are chinese immigrants-i was born in canada-most asian i talk to aren;t like this but mine. helpppppp. i pretty much have no life or social life-that what made me antisocial. never had gf or even hardly any friends

[loony]

If you have zero freedom at home, maybe you should consider finding a job and moving out. I'm all for school and education, but if you become someone who has problems with developing social skills your ability to be successful in your profession later on in life will be tremendously reduced. What your parents are doing is, they are separating you from the society that you're living in while you want to be a part of it. In Asian cultures children are supposed to obey their parents, what they say rules. If your parents are so strict, I doubt that talking with them will be of much use as I don't think that you're negotiating skills are that well developed enough to be able to convince them of anything. Also if your parents are old schools they won't like it when their children become rebellious. Your arguments will reach deaf ears. They will probably tell you that you don't know enough about life (how could you if you only stay at home...) to judge their decisions.

 

If you have any aunts or uncles who are more liberal and get along with your parents, then I suggest that you talk with them and ask for their support. If they have children of their own that they raised in a liberal way but who still have succeeded at school, they might be more able to convince your parents. Or maybe you can ask a teacher with whom you get along well. Maybe he can talk with your parents and explain them the culture they live in a bit better. Your parents probably just want to protect you from the unknown and they want to preserve the old traditions somehow.

 

You should try to get support from someone and if everything else fails, maybe you should consider moving out, because I doubt that your parents will ever want to loosen their grip on you. You think when you have finished your education, things will be peachy, maybe by then they have chosen a nice girl from China for you to marry (don't think they haven't thought about it, ask them what their plans for your future life are if you're not afraid of the answer).

[joel]

aunts and uncles-yea same as my folks all old school.

i am goin to finish school , hopefully find a decent to good job and get out of the house. i am sick of it, jsut need the money. i was thinking of working aboard- heard it from an aquaintance -work in australia for a yr doing graphic artist or what not. i might consider it. i need to travel too-haven;t been heck anywhere in my whole life. maybe somewhere close like toronto , maybe los angles , anywhere calif-i live in vancouver.

 

anyone now of anyone or info on working aboard

[loony]

You could try to study abroad, do an exchange. In your university there should be some exchange programs that allow you to go to another university abroad. Look at your university website or ask someone from your university. You probably can get credits for classes that you take abroad, but check out first what your university requires.

 

Or try to get an internship in your field. Look in the internet for companies and write them. Or ask a professor if he has some contacts and can recommend you.

 

You should plan a year ahead if you want to go abroad.

 

I'm not sure if this is of much help as you want to work abroad after you finish your studies, but maybe you want to try some other ideas.