Women, have you ever cold approached a guy and gotten a date?

[b1a6]

I'm just curious if there are any girls here who have tried this before. If I see a man who is just my type I will go after him. One time in college I told a guy he dropped something and gave him a folded piece of paper with my phone number in it. I tried this same method again a year later while I was out shopping... it worked both times! (Worked meaning they asked to meet up with me afterwards). Unfortunately one of them already had a gf and the other one didn't have a personality suited to mine. But maybe the third time's the charm? Haha. I wish I was brave enough to just strike up a conversation with someone but I'd be a fumbling mess and turn them off completely.

 

So although gender roles are becoming a thing of the past, it's still quite rare for a woman to ask a guy out like this isn't it? Girls who have approached men, share your stories... and advice on how to go about it!

[d0nnivain]

I can make conversation with anybody. I have gotten many dates after I was the one who initially said something . . . anything.

 

 

I dated one guy in college because while I was wearing a shirt with the logo of my favorite team I insulted his favorite team, the arch rivals. he had the other team's logo on something he was wearing.

 

 

Most people don't want to be the one to break the ice so they are more comfortable if somebody else makes it easy for them.

[blockrockinbeat74]

Initiated a conversation yes, but not with the aim of 'cold approaching' or getting a date; mostly just for a chat, which is totally the norm where I live.

 

I dated a couple of guys who were bold enough to ask for my number as a result of some of those conversations (and after giving them clear signs of interest) but I will admit I never asked a guy out point blank.

[Cookiesandough]

I did it in fresh year of college. Guy would always look at me when I passed by this area. I finally got courage and went up, talked, asked him out. He agreed and we did hang out a few times, but looking back, I think he was LUKEWARM(as they say around here) about me. Probably flattered. My friends do this a lot and nothing much has come from it either. I wish it was more common and more acceptable.

[Silverstring]

It's not common, but it's certainly acceptable. What's unacceptable about it?

[Cookiesandough]

I guess it's acceptable in that most of the time it not unwelcomed, but it's still viewed a bit odd to many men around here.

[Miss Peach]

I personally don't do it because I see my male friends and coworkers go out anyway even if they aren't really interested. I would rather just have the conversation and have them ask me out.

 

It's fine if you choose to do that. But IME it tends to be the more passive men who really like that and that's not what I want.

[Cookiesandough]

I just asked on Reddit how men would feel if they were cold approached and asked out by a woman lol at answers

 

 

"I'd feel like someone set her up for it, like a bet"

 

"It's happened to me a few times and I always feel it's a set up for some kind of crime"

 

"I wouldn't mind and would probably say yes if she was attractive"

 

"I'd feel like she made a joke or lost a bet and I'd ask her what bet she lost"

Edited April 29, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[todreaminblue]

if i like a guy and i feel some sort of reciprocal felings i will ask.....i feel really awkward doing it but i dont wait.....i just ask......and to tell the truth only been turned down twice.....and i have cold approached.....i dotn have a problem startign a conversation normally i know a bit about a person before i ask anyway....i prefer to be asked than ask myself....i like a guy to take the lead and have more guts than me......deb

[Cookiesandough]

"Confused and suspicious"

 

"I mean if She's cute , why not? Even though it's an odd situation to be in."

 

"I'd be a little suspicious. Past experience would lead me to believe that they probably either want something or they're a little crazy."

 

I dunno if they're serious. But if they are, how far have we really come? Lol

 

Do any guys here have experience being approached by heavenly blessed beauties?? Did you date them? Questions I want to know in addition to thread title Q

[darkmoon]

if a male stranger smiles at me, in the UK, this means that he is available to approach, so the cold-call is not so cold

[Shining One]

Do any guys here have experience being approached by heavenly blessed beauties?? Did you date them? Questions I want to know in addition to thread title Q

I've only been approached by "heavenly blessed beauties" when I was pretending to be wealthy at certain networking events. I only hooked up with them, we didn't date. I can't maintain that charade for long.

 

Outside of that, I have been approached by a few attractive women. Two were older women, recently divorced, just looking for a ONS/fling, which happened. One woman I dated for a month or so. We had to cut that relationship short because she got a job opportunity on the other side of the country. Another one I dated for quite some time, on and off for a few years.

[anynomous34]

there is nothing wrong with approaching men... i do it too... I've done it maybe 2-3 times.. i do it for fun... to see what will happen if i go up to that "hottie over there". although the last one i did it with... he seemed to think that I was all about control and being in charge which eventually turned me off.. because he wouldn't court me.. after that I said .. I'll just wait for men to chase me.. because men naturally enjoy the "chase" thing and there was a part in me that wanted him to try to chase me for his attention... turns out i blew it when i walked up to him...

[preraph]

I've always pursued guys I was attracted to. Usually I'd find a way to talk to them about something, an interest of theirs, or whatever. You have to be careful what you're fishing for, though. I mean, there's some potential problems. One problem is if they were confident and attracted to you, then why didn't they do anything about it, so now you have a guy who is either not confident or not that attracted to you to deal with (or is attached as happened to you, which isn't that big a problem as long as they tell you). Also, I was gregarious in line one day and ended up with a gay boyfriend for 4 years. He would never have approached anyone, not even a guy. So he was delighted I talked to him and took the bait and ran with it.

 

But yeah, I've made a couple of boyfriends by just going and talking to them, but not just by dropping my number (I didn't have a number for one thing). I talk to them if they seem cool and see what they're like. That's what works best for me.

[Cookiesandough]

I've only been approached by "heavenly blessed beauties" when I was pretending to be wealthy at certain networking events. I only hooked up with them, we didn't date. I can't maintain that charade for long.

 

Outside of that, I have been approached by a few attractive women. Two were older women, recently divorced, just looking for a ONS/fling, which happened. One woman I dated for a month or so. We had to cut that relationship short because she got a job opportunity on the other side of the country. Another one I dated for quite some time, on and off for a few years.

 

 

I see. Well, it's good to know it doesn't scare everyone off! But if I may ask, how did you pretend to be wealthy?

[bluefeather]

I just asked on Reddit how men...

 

lol.. there are no men on reddit. that's for internet kids.

 

So although gender roles are becoming a thing of the past, it's still quite rare for a woman to ask a guy out like this isn't it?

 

From women, I have experienced not necessarily cold-approach and ask for a date the way a guy might, but more like cold-approach and start heavy flirting.

 

Maybe it's kinda rare in general, but it happens to me sometimes, especially if women are in packs and there is an exciting event going on. I've always been in relationships though, so I never pursue, but it's really cute the way some girls do it, and also funny because women can get away with a lot more than men. Like, "accidentally" stumbling and falling on you, asking to touch your hair, etc.

[todreaminblue]

i Kicked a guys shoe i liked one time and said hey i like your shoes...lol.....thats me flirting...deb

[JuneL]

I thought women are supposed to give guys green lights and signals instead of flat out asking them out, no??

[Shining One]

I see. Well, it's good to know it doesn't scare everyone off! But if I may ask, how did you pretend to be wealthy?

A handed down Armani suit and a borrowed Maserati.

[basil67]

I thought women are supposed to give guys green lights and signals instead of flat out asking them out, no??

 

Is that a joke or are you serious? Sorry, can't tell.

[Cookiesandough]

lol.. there are no men on reddit. that's for internet kids.

 

 

Welp, that's my generation/dating pool for ya

[bluefeather]

i Kicked a guys shoe i liked one time and said hey i like your shoes...lol.....thats me flirting...deb

 

Yup, stuff like that is what I'm talking about.

 

Welp, that's my generation/dating pool for ya

 

[JuneL]

Is that a joke or are you serious? Sorry, can't tell.

 

I am afraid you have overestimated my sense of humor

[Righteous_Redd]

I'm a pretty confident woman. If I am interested in a man I have no problem taking a chance and approaching him. I have bought men drinks, struck up conversations over sports (which I genuinely love) or whatever. I don't use ploys or gimmicks, just myself. If they're into it, great. If not, I make pleasantries and make my way. No harm foul. ?

[IndigoNight]

Yes.

 

He happened to be visiting his sister in the bar I worked at. After my shift I walked up to him with a drink, and told him that he had caught my attention, and I wanted to find out more about him. We spent the next 3 hours discussing books and movies. We went on a few dates, and I kept having to make the first move. Two weeks later he told me that he needed a place to stay to finish out his contract (he lived out of state, but had work in my area) and his step-monster was making his life hell.

 

I knew her, so I didn't doubt him. (Still not a fan of my monster-in-law). So he stayed with me until he moved back to his home state a few weeks later. About a month later I drove 1000+ miles to visit him, and never left. We've been together over 18 years, and married for over 15. He was supposed to be a fun fling, but we both became rather addicted (in a good way) to one another.

 

He wasn't really my type, nor I his. I would not typically let someone I didn't know well move in with me. I wasn't interested in anything serious, as I was going through a messy divorce, as was he. Yet, something about my husband has proven to be a magnetic force that I cannot resist. From the moment he walked into the same room as me, to over 18 years later....still hooked on him, and he on me.

 

Take a chance! You never know where it might lead to.