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Understanding dating


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Yes & no. I want you to be your BEST self, whoever that is. Pretend like you have more confidence then you presently have. Eventually you will develop that confidence naturally. Don't be a fake person. Just try to act like you are more at ease then your feel

 

 

Women like men who are comfortable in their own skin. Right now I see a guy trying to figure out who he is & where he fits in the world. That is a good thing but don't let everybody else know your weaknesses & vulnerabilities. Share those with trustworthy people not the whole world.

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normal person
Ive been doing that for almost 20 years and all i found was two girl friends and alot of friends. Im not sure if im coming across as only a friend or what. Ppl say i try to hard but i dont see how. If i try less id feel like im not trying at all

 

You should "try," as in, put in the necessary effort. However, I'd suggest that when in the presence of someone you're attracted to, don't make a noticeable demonstration of effort. That's the time to just be yourself -- don't be needy, don't defer, don't seem like you're "trying" to impress someone. You will either impress them organically, or you will fail when they notice that you're trying to impress them and thus they will sense your insecurity and that will be very bad.

 

Well how do you come across as a good catch. For ive alwasy been friendly and i just find friends.

 

You shouldn't just "come across" as a good catch -- you should actually be one. So you haven't invested much time into relationships up until this point, that's fine, assuming you've invested your time wisely elsewhere and it's paying dividends now. What have you done with all your time? Have you built a successful business? Have you advanced far in your career? Have you gotten yourself in great shape? If you want to "come across" as a good catch, take stock of all the assets and abilities you've gained over the past years when you weren't spending time on relationships and leverage them to reveal yourself as a good catch. Don't just "come across" as a good catch, use what you've got and actually be one. Then, revisiting the first point, you won't have to "try" to impress anyone, they will simply be impressed and want to date you, rather than you have to convince them to.

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Sadly I haven't really accomplished anything this time. Just recently I was able to get my life together and start working on bettering everything. What your all saying is starting to make sense. I just don't see myself acting needy exc... and the more I try to understand dig deeper and work through this all. The more stressed and angrier I get. Why did I wait this long to start bettering my life. The should have been taking care of 10 years ago. I just use my time better instead of trying to run from my problems I would have been in a much better place now. I just hate it this all

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Sadly I haven't really accomplished anything this time. Just recently I was able to get my life together and start working on bettering everything. What your all saying is starting to make sense. I just don't see myself acting needy exc... and the more I try to understand dig deeper and work through this all. The more stressed and angrier I get. Why did I wait this long to start bettering my life. The should have been taking care of 10 years ago. I just use my time better instead of trying to run from my problems I would have been in a much better place now. I just hate it this all

 

It is never too late. You have the power to change yourself in any way you choose and become someone you and others respect.

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I know that all to well. And i am going to make my life better. Knowing this i still cant stop my self from being angry at it all

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Thx you all this is definitely clear things up for me and gave you much to think about. I'll definitely be back on here again whenever I need need to talk about something. As for now I'm going to try to work on some stuff. I feel like there's no point in being a broken record in till I've done at least that

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Don't worry,working on yourself or things in our life isn't not being yourself .

We're all a work in progress, hell lifes a work in progress.

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