Practicing Mindful Appreciation

[georgia girl]

For my New Year's Resolution, I decided to practice mindful appreciation. While I do yoga frequently, I don't do meditation as often as I should and I continue to read about the health benefits of meditation to slow heart rate, reduce anxiety, lower cortisol levels, improve physical and emotional health and also lower the risk of chronic disease. I tend to worry too much and this seemed like a good way to stop a bad cycle.

 

So, I started this practice of meditating at least once every other day for 10 minutes on all of the good things going on in my life and taking time to think about how much I appreciate these good things and how much better my life is for it. At first, the periods of truly being appreciative and the good feelings that came from that mindset would last for a little while but then I'd give in to work pressures/worry and that would overtake my perspective. Then, I'd have to work pretty hard to get back to that mindfully appreciative state again.

 

Now, four months later, I find that I can stay appreciative for longer periods of time and I'm less likely to get sucked into work pressure. On the flipside, when I do get sucked out of my good mental state, I'm finding it easier and easier to get myself back to mindful appreciation. It truly has made a world of difference for me. While tangibly my life is no different, my approach and attitude towards life is so much healthier and happier.

 

I'm wondering if anyone else has had this experience and would be willing to share? There's so many negative threads on these boards about struggling to overcome some sort of sadness, I thought a thread about pursuing happiness would also be welcome.

 

GG

[ChanSummary]

I love your post. It's all about positivity approach of life. I hope a lot of people could read this thread.

 

Well, I never tried yoga but I am open to it I just need to manage my time. Me as well avoiding negative people in this beautiful life. I have encountered different people with different approach of their life. As per observation, life would be light and happy if you have positive thoughts in every situation because all thing would work out at the time with the right person. Happiness is a choice!

[truthtripper]

It's great to focus on good things. Just be careful not to become in denial about the bad things. For me, the ability to face and handle life's difficulties is more useful than turning a blind eye to them.

[georgia girl]

It's great to focus on good things. Just be careful not to become in denial about the bad things. For me, the ability to face and handle life's difficulties is more useful than turning a blind eye to them.

 

While it's true that one should not engage in denial, I have to say that's not what I am doing. All of life has challenges. its approach that matters. One could allow the challenge to become so big that it becomes all-consuming. Or, you could deal with the challenge while also keeping perspective that you have a whole life, not just one dimension focused on this one problem.

 

In the past six months, I have personally faced some of my biggest business challenges (I am a CEO and there were multiple projects with a high degree of complexity and uncertainty built in) and my mom is also medically fragile. Perhaps it was the multitude of challenges coming at me at once that helped me see that my perspective matters and how I deal with the challenges is directly related to my state of mind. By being appreciative, I can genuinely state that I navigated these challenges much better than I would have prior. It's not a matter of denying tough times, it's ensuring that your response to tough times is managed well. We often think that we "work better under pressure" but most science and physicians will say that's not true. The stress response - fight or flight - triggers an increase in cortisol and the body begins reacting. Control the stress, you are in better control of the response which in turn, reduces the overall stress of the situation.

 

I appreciate your perspective but I think you misread the intention of my post. It was not to ask others to seek to deny hard times. It was to work daily on getting yourself to your best state so that you are prepared for hard times.

[bluefeather]

Thanks Georgia girl. I'm going to look into this.

[truthtripper]

Georgia, I know what you mean. What I wanted to say was that we shouldn't be afraid of our vulnerabilities, that we can't always have the grip we want all the time. Life is about failing as well as succeeding, about feeling anguish, pain, loss as well as happiness. I think in our society, people don't allow themselves to really feel. We have to 'soldier on', keep our heads up high, keep on smiling. In fact, this is celebrated in our culture, that 'she/he is so strong' to keep going on. Sometimes we have to give in to collapse in order to grow. Withholding/denying one's emotions leads to depression, which so many people suffer from.

 

For most of my life, I was able to shrug off the possible pain others could have caused me. I did this by what you refer to, focusing on the positive-until I suffered a nervous breakdown years down the track. I had not been honest with myself about how I really felt and the emotions had built up inside my subconscious to a point where I couldn't keep my head up any longer. So, it's vital that we let ourselves feel. We have to process our feelings, rather than put them aside, before we can move on.

[georgia girl]

I see where you are coming from. You are correct. The perspective of mindful appreciation has to come from an honest place. If you are masking pain to appear happy, then you may very well not just continue to suffer but face more challenges because you become each person's rock. I am so sorry for your past pain but I do genuinely appreciate your perspective.

 

This should be an internal, peaceful activity. For the first two months, I told no one and practiced it solely by myself. Once I could keep my good perspective, I talked about it about it a little more. Now that I feel I have even better control, I decided to share it.

 

I find that the hardest part of practicing mindful appreciation now is actually valuing the time it takes to shut off all other thoughts and just focus on the things in my life that make me happy. I am too much of a problem solver to sometimes be able to clear my head and honestly, because I am often in a hurry, I don't practice the discipline to just pursue quiet and calm reflection on the gifts of my life. So, that's a struggle.

 

On the flip side, I have to say I have always chased contentment - that welcoming soft blend of happiness and peace - and I can now find it more easily. It's not the wild highs of jubilation, but it is soul satisfying. I sometimes wonder if the only reason I can find it now is because I have finally mellowed with age.

 

Truthfinder, good luck on your journey of healing and peace. You seem like a wonderfully thoughtful person and you asked great questions to help my journey.

[amaysngrace]

I've only just began setting time aside to meditate on the blessings in my life but it has already made a small difference just in knowing that there is this new place I can go to when I get stuck on a negative path in my thinking.

 

I'm hoping in time to be a better version of myself just by switching my outlook on life. I have so much to be thankful for, in fact we all do really, and it's nice to focus on the good things for a change.

[truthtripper]

I find that the hardest part of practicing mindful appreciation now is actually valuing the time it takes to shut off all other thoughts and just focus on the things in my life that make me happy.

.

I have been to meditation classes years ago. My understanding of meditation is that the thoughts shouldn't be shut off, but allowed to flow in and then out of one's mind. Trying to resist negative thoughts altogether is unnatural and only causes further stress. No wonder you struggle.

 

I have tried many different modes of relaxation. I find the Feldenkrais Technique most helpful, as it involves the body as well as the mind. I don't like sitting still when practising relaxation.

 

Thanks for this thread and your kind words, Georgia. Good luck to you with your healing journey.