Fender Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 heylo everybody. I'm currently writing a book on attraction and needed some views on "marriage" I don't mean to be offensive, but.... Why do we get married??? I can see no logical reason for getting married. Sex lives go down the drain, we get used to our mate and start getting unnapreciative of each other, the chances of cheating are EXTREMELY high, and divorce is 50% in 1997. And still, we want to get married!!! So I've run out of ideas...why would we want to get married? (I've never been married myself, and that is why I am asking this question) Thx in advance. Link to post Share on other sites
binturong Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 For stability, to always have someone there for you no matter what (I know it doesn't always happen like that, but I think most marriages start out feeling that way). To have children and be a "family" (yes, I know you can have kids outside of marriage too, but we wouldn't want to do that). For legal purposes, if anything happens, I know my husband will get everything and vice versa. For the record, we're just coming up on our one year anniversary, but we've been together for 7 years now. There has never been any lessening of our sex life. When one of us starts feeling underappreciated, we say so and change that. Chances of cheating might be high, but we feel we know each other well enough to know that the chances of either of us cheating are practically zero. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Do a search. There have been several threads about this lately. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 "I can see no logical reason for getting married. Sex lives go down the drain, we get used to our mate and start getting unnapreciative of each other, the chances of cheating are EXTREMELY high, and divorce is 50% in 1997. And still, we want to get married!!!" Most excellent authors go into a project with no preconceived notions. In college, doing that can get you an instant "F". If you are going to continue with your book, I hope that you will put your personal views behind you in order to do unbiased research that your readers will pay for. Otherwise, please be sure to note your biases in your introduction and in the body of your work so readers will know just how the book may have been affected by them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fender Posted July 31, 2005 Author Share Posted July 31, 2005 Lol, Thanks Tony T, for your comment. Really helpful. But don't worry, the entire reason why I am here is to offset the "anti-marriage" opinions I gained from another site (a marriage hating site I might say... ) This is why I would like to hear opininos on why marriage would be a good idea. And Tony, my book isn't really a "thesis" type book. It's more of a "journal" where I explore the topic of "sex" Thx though Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 the only good reason to get married is to have kids and bring them up in a good envirnoment. other than that, forget it. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Why do we get married??? I can see no logical reason for getting married. Sex lives go down the drain, we get used to our mate and start getting unnapreciative of each other, the chances of cheating are EXTREMELY high, and divorce is 50% in 1997. And still, we want to get married!!! I believe the better question might be 'why do we not have the good sense to take care of a relationship with someobody who loves us'. The problems you cite are all due, IMHO, to people thinking they can sit back and coast once they're married. Marriage is like pet ownership - if you have no intention of taking care of it, you have no business having one. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Many people get married because of presure from parents, friends and society. Some get married for financial and other security. Many to have children. Some men get married to have a mother in adulthood. Many get married because they dearly love someone and want them to be part of their entire life. There aren't a lot of peole who give long and hard thought to their motives in getting married, I don't think. Many just feel it's the next thing to do...you know, graduation, job, marriage. Marriage is looked upon by many as an institution available to fit one's needs if that's what you seek. Otherwise, there are a multitude of lifestyles available to everyone, many of which don't include marriage. There was a time when married people were favored at the workplace and in society in general. Unmarried persons were simply outside the circle. It's not that way anymore. I think a lot less people would get married if they knew the work involved, the complexities of everyday married life, the way many change after the vows are taken and the excruciating pain of being married to the wrong person or having the one you love ask for a divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Originally posted by Outcast Do a search. There have been several threads about this lately. True. Marriage is a declaration of love. It means that this person is so wonderful that you want to spend the rest of your life with him and you love him so much that you want to bear his children because they will all be as wonderful as he. Link to post Share on other sites
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