MM loses OW

[donbar]

So I'll start this sorry story like so many others have done before me. I've been lurking here for a while. I never expected this to happen to me.

 

I am reeling from the repercussions of a PA and it has left me feeling so dreadfully low, with all the associated misery that comes with the decision to cheat. I'm not proud of my actions, I'm ashamed of them. And I realize there are 2 sides to every story, but this is my version...

 

And the whole thing began like this......

 

Been married for 27 years now. 2 grown children. After about 20 years the marriage started to unravel. The usual awful arguments, some threatening behavior on her part, throwing things of mine, storming out on me in restaurants on three occasions, no physical relationship due to a myriad of reasons, and finally she requested a D. I realize that it wasn't all her fault, but like I said, this is my story. We all think it is only happening to us....

 

The day after she said she wanted a divorce I left on a 3 day business trip. This was late in 2014.

 

On this trip I worked with a known colleague and we end up having a heart to heart. She was in the process of getting a divorce. I was surprised because she always seemed so content. She then admitted she cheated on her husband because she wanted something more. It had been a ONS, and nothing came of it but it made her more determined to find her utopia. I told her my wife had asked for a divorce and I felt that it was inevitable. Although we never slept together that night the chemistry was mind blowing. You all know what I'm talking about. Breath taking, heart pounding. The sort of emotional euphoria that helps ordinary people create masterpieces, art work, love songs, glorious, unbridled joy. Enough of the soppy stuff. Don't worry, there'll be more later.

 

We never exchanged numbers and for the next week I couldn't stop thinking about her. I work for a huge Corporation and the chances of seeing her again were slim. In fact, I've gone so long not seeing colleagues that when I do meet them again I can't remember who they are. And I'm not alone in this. So it isn't dementia. Despite the odds being stacked against us, two weeks later we worked together. It felt like a sign. The chemistry was so, um, chemical, that we were like a mad scientist's laboratory, bubbling Erlenmeyer flasks, beakers, the works. Despite being in a very crowded place the world shrank around us until we were stood in a two-person room and I knew I was in love.. see, I told you there was more soppy stuff.. This time I got her email, and of course you all know the rest. We started writing, and talking, and finally we met..

 

Now for all you cynics here are some facts. Up to this point I had been utterly faithful to my wife. So when I met the OW I was truly expecting to go to dinner, talk, feel the joy of just being in her presence. Well, that didn't happen because when I knocked on her hotel room, instead of her stepping out into the lighted hallway she pulled me into the room and much to my shame, I cheated on my wife..Oh GOD, what had I done! It was unbelievably amazing, and terrible at the same time. It was, in fact, the most beautiful experience of my life, but of course, the guilt made it so bitter-sweet. So a few weeks later I did what my moral code demanded, and told the OW to her face that I couldn't ever do that again. That I was sorry. She understood, was so very gracious, and we parted sad, but I knew it was the right thing.

 

And you all know what happened next..more grief at home, more misery, more yearning, and after a particularly nasty wife outburst I reached out to the OW and she was very receptive.. She wanted to be there for me and we started writing and calling, and met again, and again, and again.. And every time it was utopia. I see now that it was a bubble world, just her and I, no real life, just perfect harmonious togetherness, the drug that is impossible to quit.

 

Meanwhile, at home, my wife realized she was losing me. So we went to counseling at her insistence, and in front of the counselor she asked me if I was having an affair, and I DENIED it. I didn't have the fortitude, strength of character, nor did I want to hurt my wife or cause pain to her and my children, and so I chose the cowards option and lied. Like I said, I'm ashamed of my actions, and I never thought I was a liar, but here I was, hurting the OW by not hurting my wife.

Plus, being totally honest, I was afraid of how my wife would behave. She has a tendency to react in explosive ways.

 

Affairs are really an opportunity to make a fool of yourself, hurt people and generally let people down, including yourself. So they've got that going for them....

 

Anyway, after counseling I told the OW that we were going to try and salvage the marriage and once again she was wonderful about it, wished me the best of luck and we went NC. I took my wife on vacation in an attempt to repair things but our marriage was fundamentally flawed.

 

Listen, for those who are still reading this pathetic story, I see the pattern too, but please understand I was trying to do the right thing.

 

Shortly after the vacation, OW and I were back communicating. We met up a few times in public and the chemistry was always there. So powerful, so undeniable, so beautiful. Meanwhile my wife decided she needed to change career paths and went away on a two month course. OW and I got together and made love, and it was so emotionally charged and wonderful that even now it makes me feel like weeping.

 

For those who are about to curse me for having sex with 2 women at once, I wasn't. My wife and I had no physical relationship due to medical issues that rendered it impossible.

 

And then in early 2016 an event happened that pushed me to the point where I was ready to announce the affair and get on with the divorce, because despite my earlier assumption that our marriage would unravel all on its own, my wife was holding on. The event was like something from a movie. I had been waiting for transport to collect me, had been texting the OW who I wasn't entirely sure where she was on the planet. I mentioned to her that I was waiting in a particular spot for a ride and the next minute she is stood there, next to me in the misty, cold February evening looking like an angel. Even writing it gives me goosebumps. We hugged and hugged and right then I knew I had to spend the rest of my life with her. That my life had no meaning without her in it. We parted company when my ride appeared, and I told her I loved her, and she told me she loved me too. The next texts were revelations, that we both felt the same way. Right up until the next day when I didn't get in touch with her until late in the afternoon due to work. I'm unable to communicate when I'm at work, she knows this, but she was angry at me for not writing, and all of a sudden what had seemed so clear the night before was muddied by hurt feelings. I was utterly baffled. Confused. Bereft..

 

And then an even bigger event happened. My wife was diagnosed with a serious life-threatening disease. And even though I know I was guilty of cheating on my wife, I could not abandon her during this terrible time. And it was terrible. And the OW backed away quietly, told me to stay where I was, that my place was with my wife, that she didn't need to be anywhere near us. And I agreed, even though I needed her support and friendship, because I missed her so dreadfully.

 

So began months of limited contact, and then, out of the blue, about 3 months after the diagnosis, OW and I worked together, and much to my surprise she wanted me to spend the night. And of course, I did, and it was beautiful. Glorious. Angels singing alleluia. You get the picture.

Which, in retrospect, seems so wrong, but that night felt like such a relief..

 

So.......I told you this was long..stay with me. You're probably wondering what happens in the end.

 

That summer my wife had major treatment and started rehabilitation. OW had told me that our night was just an undeniable event and I must move on with supporting my wife. But life at home was unbearable. The battle with her health made life dreadful. She was angrier than I had ever seen her. She looked to pick fights, and I tried to be gentle and supportive, but one day, during a particularly nasty tirade, I told her I'd had enough. I couldn't do this anymore. That I wanted out. And she tried to kill herself. Not a cry for help. Really really tried. If I thought life was rough before, then this took the biscuit.. then she decided to tell the children she had tried to kill herself because Dad threatened to leave her. By this stage I'm thinking I'm going mental. I reached out for support from the OW and she would try to be there for me, but she was deeply conflicted by the whole event, and looking back, I realize she didn't want to be the OW who caused an unwell person to kill herself. So she went NC again. And my wife had a very violent episode at home where she threw valuable things of mine around, destroying precious belongings, screaming and sobbing hysterically. At this stage I went for counseling. The advice I got was prepare an exit plan and get out. I never mentioned the OW, because we were NC, so technically I wasn't having an affair. I know, I know.

 

But then a strange thing happened. My wife, who had been on medication for years, was forced to stop taking the drugs and she changed. Slowly, over about four months, she became more like the old self I had originally fallen in love with. She stopped having huge mood swings. Her tantrums stopped. It was a huge relief. But it didn't change how I felt. It was too late. That OW and I were meant to be together forever.

 

My wife had wanted something to look forward to when she was first diagnosed. Something that would be at the end of her treatment. So we booked a vacation overseas for the fall of 2016. A week before we left I met OW, hadn't seen her for months, and it was so amazing. We spent the night and if I could have died right then I would have been happy, because whenever she was in my arms I felt at peace. She knew I was going away, told me that she hadn't had a physical relationship with anyone else since we had begun our affair, but wished me a good vacation.

 

The trip was nice. No fights, pleasant company. But all I could think about was OW. Her face, her voice, her perfume, her sparkling eyes. Sorry. There I go again.

 

So in the fall of 2016 OW and I met for a night and it was explosively amazing. For those who think that this is a sex driven relationship, I have considered that, but it isn't. I could just as easily sit and talk to her for hours, or stroll in a park, feed ducks, fly a kite, watch a documentary about basket weaving, but when we were together it was like nothing I had ever experienced. Think of the best sex you have ever had, double it, now add angels playing harps and you're still not even close. And when I had to leave the next day I wanted to cry at the pain of separation. Look, I'm not prone to crying normally, but it seems my body has other ideas. The sadness of our parting was always so debilitating.

 

Look, I'm nearly at the end, so grab a coffee, and I'll be back in ten.......

 

Here I am!

 

One week after we were together we met in public, acknowledged our love, kissed, and promised we could make this work out. That night we did a crazy thing. We talked on the phone and had phone sex! And it was so silly but so fun. Safest sex you can ever have. But the next day I knew something was wrong and when we spoke on the phone she was so so angry. Angry at herself, calling herself a whore, a slut, all sorts of awful things. She said she simply couldn't do this anymore, and that she wanted to be done, to learn to love herself, and that we must absolutely stop. It felt like she had reached into my chest, ripped my heart out and stomped all over it. I felt physically sick. And since then she has told me that after that phone call she went home and spent one week grieving us, sick in bed, before finally realizing that for her own health and future she needs me out of her life.

 

I went home and tried to rebuild my marriage. Get it back to where it was years ago. We had been planning on moving when the children left home and so we found a neighborhood and put a deposit down to have a small house built. We sold our place and moved into a rental and all the time I have this inner monologue going..

 

"WTF are you doing? You need to be making yourself available for the OW, not making plans for the future with your wife!"

 

And I would say,

 

"Inner Monologue, that makes no sense, she doesn't want me anymore! Anyway, I can still leave my wife".

 

So, nearly at the end, OW had told me she didn't want me anymore. I would speak to her numerous times. For hours at a time, but she was adamant. When I told her about building the house she saw a healthy marriage and me just wanting her for sex. And I can see how she would think that, but nothing was further from the truth. With our house sold, the equity was freed up, the new house was much smaller and financially I was in a very strong position to leave my wife with a roof over her head and money in her account. I saw OW a month ago and she gave me a lift. We talked for three hours. We hugged and clung onto each other but she wouldn't let me kiss her lips. Which made me so sad afterwards. So I went home, and decided that Inner Monologue was right. That I needed to get on with the D. Only then would OW come to me and I would have peace and love and happiness.

 

So I decided to have D day, but no mention of the A. And I told my wife I wanted to leave her. And she almost immediately called our children and told them, and then she told them she was thinking of ending it again. I locked myself in the guest room. Despite the anger and sadness and terrible things my wife was saying, I felt liberated. It was finally going to happen, I was going to be single, and one day OW and I would be together forever. So I texted OW with the news. And she texted back that she was seeing someone else. I cried all night.

 

That was a month ago and we haven't been in touch since.

 

The next day, when I thought about life all alone, or life with my wife, I chose to stay. So I told my wife I was dreadfully dreadfully sorry. And she forgave me. And I'm still married. And I miss OW every single day. And it hurts. Agony. Feels like it will never stop. And that is my story. There's lots more but my fingers are bleeding and you've probably tried to kill yourself if you even made it this far. But if you have, thank you for listening, and if you have any advice I will gladly listen. Unless it's just a rant about me getting what I deserve, because I never ever meant this to happen. And I never knew what love truly was until I met OW, a sweet, beautiful, kind, happy lady who has been through so much with me. And I do believe that to prove I love her I need to never contact her again.

 

And finally, I do love my wife, but not like I love OW. And it is such a burden.

Thanks for listening.

[TinWoman]

Wow, Donbar. This is my first post though I've been lurking for awhile, too. Your post hit me so hard...because I could BE the OW in your story!! There are so many similarities that it's almost scary.

 

Same length of marriage, two young-adult children, ill wife...and then OW with an amazing connection who come along at the "right" time and break through the zombie life. The major difference is that my MM did confess about "us", only the outcome was the same as yours. He would have continued on with the double life, but I can't. It's already gone on far too long (we've known each other over 10 years--been so in love the past 3) and for me it's death by a thousand cuts. Being "with" someone and yet too often alone is simply far too hard on the heart.

 

Plus the back & forth while he tried to figure out his own life was the hardest thing I've ever experienced. When he finally admitted that he *wouldn't* leave (not couldn't, this isn't passive action) for all of the reasons you've stated--not wanting to look like he was abandoning his wife when she was ill, what it would do to his reputation especially with his children, his wanting to BE the man everyone thought he was... If I love him, then I have to let him do all of that without me in his life. I can't be the bandage to hold him together. I can't be his safe place or soft landing any longer.

 

We tried to have a "long good-bye" but that blew up last week so we are now NC. His last message to me was just what you said-- He's doing what he has to do, IC/MC, trying to rebuild the marriage and make it work. But missing me/us every moment...especially in those quiet times and in dreams.

 

For me, and probably for your OW, it's crushing. Maybe you can help me understand my MM and his decisions and I can help you understand why your OW had to let you go to save herself.

 

I wish us all peace and happiness...somewhere down the line.

[donbar]

Tinwoman, thank you for replying.

For me now it is too late. She knows she will be a stronger happier person without me. But I know that I will love her like no other for the rest of my life. And I will miss her and wish I could be with her as I have for the last 2.5 years.

I even dream about her. Real dreams, not daydreaming.

If my OW had told me she would be waiting for me after my attempt at D day I would have gone through with the D. I'm not looking for anything else except my OW. I'm not prepared to give up my M for anything but her. And that is too much onus on her.

[GeekLover]

I'm very sorry to have read your story. It is truly heartbreaking and hits far too close to home for me.

 

I won't get into the details, but you can read my story here:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/other-man-woman/617048-looking-perspective-om-ow

 

I think you and I can find some support in each other since our outcomes are identical.

 

I'm so sorry for your pain, but it will slowly dissipate.

[NTV]

So your wife tells you she wants a divorce but when you tell her the same thing she calls the kids?

[lostgirl87]

Your story makes me so sad!

 

Your OW loved you and gave you so many chances. At some point she had to protect her heart and her conscience. Not all of us OW are evil, proud "man stealers" and we don't want to be "the reason" a man leaves his wife. I know, that sounds weird seeing as how we were willing to engage in the relationship at all but once it becomes real in the sense that we realize the wife is a real person who is hurting at the thought of her marriage ending b/c of us, we feel awful. The pressure and guilt of knowing that a man is ONLY leaving his wife if we are there is intense. We are forced to see the effect of what we have done and it can become too much to bear.

 

I can't speak for her b/c I have no way of knowing what she is feeling but if it were me, I would feel like you didn't fight hard enough. That once she said "I can't do this anymore" you accepted it and decided to stay with your wife. I'm not saying that leaving or fighting for her will for sure bring her back but I do know that I wouldn't feel it was enough. Given the length of yalls relationship and the intensity of your feelings for each other, I doubt she has already completely moved on from you. She is trying to move on and is afraid of being hurt again and also is having trouble being the reason your wife is struggling (or was struggling- especially given the health scare).

 

I hope you find comfort and happiness! Keep posting and ignore the judgmental mean comments that are sure to come your way. Good people make mistakes and end up in difficult situations but that doesn't make you a monster. It makes you human.

[donbar]

GeekLover, thank you. I will read your link and try and get some perspective on this. I appreciate your reply, and your support.

[donbar]

NTV, after the request for a divorce from my wife she then rescinded. In counseling she said it was just an attempt to get me to realize just how seriously she felt the marriage was damaged.

[Noideanow]

Divorce, tell her you love her, stop all contact until she has ended it with him:o :confused:

[donbar]

Lostgirl, thank you for your reply. It makes me sad too. I could quite happily close my eyes and never open them again. And you are right. OW would tell me regularly, "you've made no progress towards being able to be with me", and I would say, please be patient, let me get my wife through the first year.

 

I decided to stay because I cannot have my OW. She made it clear she wants to find love elsewhere. I have no interest in being single so I can look for what I had with my OW because I don't believe I would ever find it again. I want her so much it hurts. If she told me to get divorced and she would consider me once I was single I would do it. But I'm not going to get divorced and end up alone, with children who won't talk to me because I would rather be comfortable and have a companion who has become much easier to live with.

[donbar]

Noideanow, thank you.

[sandylee1]

Donbar,

 

 

Thanks for sharing your story.

 

 

I don't understand why you didn't go through with the divorce the first time your wife mentioned it. That would have been the perfect opportunity, or am I missing something?

 

 

I'll be honest, I wouldn't have faulted you if you slept with the OW after your wife requested the divorce, because in my mind (if I were you) the marriage would be pretty much over. I would have thought you'd be relieved she asked for a divorce.

 

 

It kind of looks like she said divorce and you just sat back and waited for her to take action and in the meanwhile, you just kept your head down and got on with life.

 

 

It comes across like you've toed the line with your wife throughout the marriage and she calls the shots. She asked for a divorce first. Then when she sees you getting on with life, she insists that you go for counselling....and you go...why?

 

 

It does sound like you're scared (physically scared) of your wife and you may have good reason to be, but if it was me, I would have run with the divorce (as soon as she said it) and filed myself before she could say Old Mother Hubbard.

 

 

Do you think she first said divorce to get a reaction and see if you'd start begging her or something?

 

 

If I was an OW in this position, I'd be thinking you could never make your mind up and that you weren't going to leave your wife and building a new place and still being with her... that would tell me you were never going to leave her.

 

 

The OW could have said she was seeing someone to test you, but by seeing you still with your wife, that would say it all to me. You came to her with "I'm going to get divorced" NOT "I am divorced."

 

 

I don't mean to be harsh, but at no stage did you really take any firm action to be with your OW.

 

 

One thing you need to bear in mind, is that nobody else but you knows exactly what's going on in your mind, apart from you. You can tell her you love her to the moon and back and that you want to spend your life with her, but if your actions don't match up with your words, then your words don't mean very much and the only conclusion for her to draw from that, is that you wanted her and your wife.

 

 

Can you imagine how scary it would be for her to contemplate a life with you, when she's seen how you flip flop back and forth?

[sandylee1]

Divorce, tell her you love her, stop all contact until she has ended it with him:o :confused:

 

I agree with this. She's likely waiting to see if you are really serious.

[sandylee1]

. But I'm not going to get divorced and end up alone, with children who won't talk to me because I would rather be comfortable and have a companion who has become much easier to live with.

 

 

Are you saying your children will not speak to you if you get divorced? I might be wrong, but does that mean you would have accepted them ignoring you and still got divorced to be with your OW?

[donbar]

Sandylee1,

 

You're right.. I should have pressed on with the divorce but I only met the OW a few days later and it seemed impossible that this was somebody I was going to fall so in love with. Your observations are very astute. I think my wife did exactly what you said. She said divorce thinking I would plead for her to stay but I didn't.

 

After the medical problems (serious, life threatening, scary stuff) I talked to a close friend who knew what was going on and his advice was to stay for a year until my wife met that big milestone. It seemed the humane thing to do. I told my OW that was my plan.

 

Thank you for your thoughts. I'm pretty sure you have summed up my OW's own thoughts exactly. I've really been my own worst enemy and it has been sobering.

[donbar]

I know my son would be livid with me. My daughter is a little more pragmatic.

 

On a different note, OW and I will be working together in about a week. Any advice on what I should do or say, if anything?

[Red123]

Sandylee1,

 

You're right.. I should have pressed on with the divorce but I only met the OW a few days later and it seemed impossible that this was somebody I was going to fall so in love with. Your observations are very astute. I think my wife did exactly what you said. She said divorce thinking I would plead for her to stay but I didn't.

 

After the medical problems (serious, life threatening, scary stuff) I talked to a close friend who knew what was going on and his advice was to stay for a year until my wife met that big milestone. It seemed the humane thing to do. I told my OW that was my plan.

 

Thank you for your thoughts. I'm pretty sure you have summed up my OW's own thoughts exactly. I've really been my own worst enemy and it has been sobering.

 

I am a BS who is living with an incurable illness. I understand that your wife has threatened suicide and attempted and I'm sure that was very scary and made it more difficult to leave. However, if I was your wife and knew of the the real way you feel as you have described it here I would be even more devastated. I really think you owe her the truth, maybe she feels similar and isn't happy either. My biggest fear would be someone staying with me because of pity for my illness and not because they love me and want to be with me. Give her the real choice knowing the whole story not just the parts you want to share. If you are really this in love with the OW how can you ever give your wife a real marriage. I would rather be alone than with someone in love with another.

[Southern Sun]

This post illustrates why affairs suck.

 

The relationship itself may be amazing, but because you had it within the confines of an affair, it was sullied and ruined. Not to mention the damage you did to your marriage and kids.

 

If you had only moved forward with the divorce when it was initially discussed, when it seemed time to do so, even after the first contact with the OW happened, you could have saved EVERYONE a lot of pain. You would have been a man of action; the D would have been suggested by your wife but in general a mutual idea; the OW may have entered, but wouldn't have been the cause of the end (and you could have held off until the D was done or at least well under-way); and your kids would know that this was all done above-board. Last, but not least, your relationship with the OW would have progressed without all this crap weighing it down. Now who knows exactly what it would have looked like as a normal R. Affairs change things and make them feel more intense, more like an oasis if one is in misery at home, etc. But if she really was that amazing, and you really were compatible, the R might have flourished...IF pursued at the right time.

 

Instead, you stepped out on your wife and caused her untold pain and misery. If your kids find out they will hurt and lose respect for you. And now you will have this feeling of "lost love" for who knows how long.

 

In your shoes, I would still go through with the divorce. You are going to feel like you settled, if you stay married. You will be resentful towards your wife, and she isn't making you do anything. And when she figures out WHY you are still there, she will feel like a second-class citizen. Who knows - maybe once you actually do something, your OW will come back around. But you need to be willing to make yourself vulnerable and take some action. That may have been what she was looking for from you all along.

[donbar]

Thank you all. It's all very much appreciated..

[Inya]

Hi there,

 

it was a painful reading, but so familiar story...

 

If I were you I would fight for love of my life (divorce first).

[TinWoman]

I think the best for you to do donbar is to keep your interaction as professional and distant as possible. From her standpoint, nothing has changed. You said you would divorce and you didn't. You told her you were making changes in your life to be with her, but your actions continue(d) to tell her otherwise.

 

I did not want my MM to leave only for me. As I told him many times, the pressure would have been too much. I would have worried every time we hit a hard spot, and we would have of course, he would have regretted his decision if he made it for any reason other than what he needed to do for HIS own life, with our without me.

 

Did you discuss your one-year plan with your OW in detail, or did you just assume she understood? She may have heard your words, but your actions said otherwise. You could have drafted a post-nep so your wife knew she would be taken care of. You could have been working on your relationships with your children so they would understand and you would have been in a better place with them. You could have been honest with your own counselor so they could have helped you work through all of the steps to ease the transition for everyone.

 

Instead, it sounds like you, too, waited for others to make those decisions for you...and OW was in the wings wondering who was ultimately going to decide on HER future. Was it you or your W? BTDT and I give her credit for taking back her own choices rather than to continue to be strung along.

 

There's a good chance I'll be seeing MM in a couple of weeks, too, so I know how hard it is to figure out the best way to handle it. I know he'll want to make sure I'm "OK." I know he'll want to tell me how much he still thinks of me and misses me. I know he'll probably get emotional and I'll want to make him feel better. (I'm classic co-dependent.) But if he can't tell me he's making any changes in his life to someday be with me--and I know he's not--then I'd rather he just be kind but keep his distance.

[Birdies]

I know my son would be livid with me. My daughter is a little more pragmatic.

 

On a different note, OW and I will be working together in about a week. Any advice on what I should do or say, if anything?

 

I think you should tell her what you've said here. That you love her and are truly ready to drop everything to be with her. (But only if you e really thought through that pragmatically and are willing to do it - expensive divorce, hurting your wife, hurting your kids, probably being branded a cheater to everyone you know, the uncertainty of having things work out with OW, etc.) If she still is not interested, then you'll have closure.

[sandylee1]

I know my son would be livid with me. My daughter is a little more pragmatic.

 

On a different note, OW and I will be working together in about a week. Any advice on what I should do or say, if anything?

 

Just a casual friendly hello will do. Don't discuss your personal life and don't linger around her.

[donbar]

OW hasn't been in touch since I told her I asked W for a D. So she has no idea what is going on. And that was about one month ago.

[Daisy2013]

What a sad story. That OW truly loved you. You seem to love her. Your marriage doesn't seem good and you had your out. Maybe I'm broken and messed up, but sometimes the right people meet under unfortunate circumstances and if the M is really crap, why not go. I think it's pride. They think what will others think of me, I have to keep up appearances, etc. Those cowards deserve the misery in which they've chosen to live.

 

I honestly think a connection that encompasses compability, passion, and friendship that turns into love is rare. Passion is rare. So many settle. If you are lucky enough to find it, run to it.