Author donbar Posted June 21, 2017 Author Share Posted June 21, 2017 So I'm fresh meat? Nothing inappropriate whatsoever here. Actually some very considerate and kind people who have made me reflect that despite some downright nasty posts on this thread there are people who care and want to help... Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. John Adams Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 you have to remember that sometimes what you project is raw and ugly and goes against the grain of what we have all experienced While you think you are just being honest...it is ugly to those of us who have struggled to get past where you are Remarks made are usually to help you get to healing faster Yet you take it offensively...you become combative and defensive...when in acutality...you should be reflecting on the experience and pain that we have all been through and think that maybe...just maybe these folks do indeed know what they are talking about.. You are the one who came here seeking advice.... Those who have taken the time to share...do so from a place of pain it is not easy to dig deep...to warn...to advise... it brings the hurts that we have all lived through to the surface and then to have an op reject...and deny and argue...and ignore...and be combative is a double insult...you want to reconcile...and we are trying to help you get to a place where you emotionally have the best chance to do that. Constantly telling us how much you love your OW...is a recipe for failure. We all know that...and we have tried to warn you so you do not fail. We are NOT the enemy..no one here wants you to fail...not one single person Quite frankly...I personally do not understand why you came here...if you already have a plan of attack....if you already know what you intend to do...what were you seeking exactly? anyway...I feel like you have battled everyone here who tries to tell you the truth...who is trying to help you get to the place of reconciliation you seem to want. You are drawn to those who affirm and assure you that what you are doing will indeed get you to your goal...and yet those of us who have been working on reconciliation for many years are viewed as the enemy. I personally am finished. But I do wish you luck and warm wishes and success...the road ahead for you will be very very difficult...even if the stars align for you..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 It is amazing how a forum of wounded people prey upon those who are also wounded...I watch the OM OW forum...just to see who i think is hitting on who...and the ones who criticise the most...seem to be the ones most interested in the OW....Makes me go hmmmmmm You can tell from reading threads who is hitting on who? This is a new thought to me. Sorry, donbar, don't mean to t/j. Just wonder how you can tell, Mrs. JA? Are you thinking if males respond to female's posts on the OW threads they are probably hitting on them? I recall two posters got involved a year or so ago but one of them point blank wrote it in a post. But, beyond that, have seen nothing... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 you have to remember that sometimes what you project is raw and ugly and goes against the grain of what we have all experienced This surprises me so much, Mrs. JA, as does your post about watching people hitting on each other. I don't see raw ugly posts, nothing even close to that, but rather posts of a person who is going through a crisis and reaching out for help, plus processing his feelings. It is amazing to me how two people can see the same exact thing and have a totally different perception of it. I truly don't mean to offend you, Mrs. JA, you have some lovely posts from time to time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author donbar Posted June 21, 2017 Author Share Posted June 21, 2017 (edited) you have to remember that sometimes what you project is raw and ugly and goes against the grain of what we have all experienced While you think you are just being honest...it is ugly to those of us who have struggled to get past where you are Remarks made are usually to help you get to healing faster Yet you take it offensively...you become combative and defensive...when in acutality...you should be reflecting on the experience and pain that we have all been through and think that maybe...just maybe these folks do indeed know what they are talking about.. You are the one who came here seeking advice.... Those who have taken the time to share...do so from a place of pain it is not easy to dig deep...to warn...to advise... it brings the hurts that we have all lived through to the surface and then to have an op reject...and deny and argue...and ignore...and be combative is a double insult...you want to reconcile...and we are trying to help you get to a place where you emotionally have the best chance to do that. Constantly telling us how much you love your OW...is a recipe for failure. We all know that...and we have tried to warn you so you do not fail. We are NOT the enemy..no one here wants you to fail...not one single person Quite frankly...I personally do not understand why you came here...if you already have a plan of attack....if you already know what you intend to do...what were you seeking exactly? anyway...I feel like you have battled everyone here who tries to tell you the truth...who is trying to help you get to the place of reconciliation you seem to want. You are drawn to those who affirm and assure you that what you are doing will indeed get you to your goal...and yet those of us who have been working on reconciliation for many years are viewed as the enemy. I personally am finished. But I do wish you luck and warm wishes and success...the road ahead for you will be very very difficult...even if the stars align for you..... Frankly, I'm glad you are finished. I appreciate your warm wishes. I don't mean to offend, but your soliloquies have left me stone cold. I've tried to understand where you are coming from, but at the end of the day your experience has no relevance to mine. And I mean that with the utmost respect. I believe that we should treat each kindly, even when we don't agree. So I wish you the best of luck in your life but I embrace your closure on my thread. Please try not to get the last word, if you can..... Edited June 21, 2017 by donbar 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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