After ex MM's ex wife contacted me I have had some therapy

[Dog Woman]

It's been over 2 years since I last posted on here about ex MM. Things had been quiet until just before Christmas when I got a tip off from an old mutual friend of his and mine saying that ex MM was getting a new woman in the New Year, ie, me. This came a complete blot out of the blue as I haven't had any contact with him since March 2015 and actually saw him and his wife together last summer. I said to my friend -"Well that's news to me and laughed it off". He told me ex MM had split again from his wife but this time it was for good and he had bought her out of the marital home. I didn't do anything after my friend had contacted me until ex MM contacted me just before Christmas and confirmed he had split with his wife, had had to borrow £100k to buy her out and that he wanted me back. I told him no way and sent him packing. Then at the end of January at a show, where he was stewarding and I was exhibiting I learnt that he had confessed to having an affair for the past two years. He tried to speak to me at the show but I sent him packing again. Then today on a couple of my facebook posts, a couple of comments have been made by him from another facebook account, one leaving a telephone number, the other saying his ex wife wants to talk to me. What on earth is going on, was my initial reaction. So I texted ex MM who denied posting on my facebook posts and said it was his ex wife. Why I asked. He thought she was guessing I was the party involved in his affair of the last two years. His friend did suspect that ex MM did have someone else he just didn't know who. I sent ex MM packing again but not before he confirmed he is seeing someone and that they are going on holiday. I'm trying to work out if it was his ex wife who messaged me or it was in fact ex MM trying to get in touch again and gauge a reaction. I've not responded to the fb messages, deleted them and block the senders account.

[NTV]

So what if it was? Not your circus not your monkeys.

[Dog Woman]

So what if it was? Not your circus not your monkeys.

 

I know it isn't but I was a little shaken when I saw the message that his ex wife wants to speak to me. My blood ran cold. Its strange but these messages just happen to be posted a few days before I'm due to exhibit at a show where ex MM is stewarding. He told me that in one of his texts today. He said that everyone had turned their back on him but he did have one true friend, our mutual friend that contacted ex MM to ask after his welfare and to ask him to steward at the show, which ex MM has accepted. I can't help feeling cynical but I'm beginning to think that it was ex MM who posted on my fb post. I guest forearmed is forewarned so I know to avoid him on Monday, I would be avoiding him anyway. Maybe his new girlfriend is going to be there and he was warning me to keep away........... ?

[WarriorBabe]

She wants what OW want after the A has ended, closure. She wants closure and surety that her intuitions of him having an A was not her losing her mind but him playing a dangerous game with her heart.

 

I would not contact her. Eventually, if you all live in the same town or nearby, you will run across her and maybe then you will be able to have a conversation with her or maybe she will have moved on from the betrayal.

[Dog Woman]

She wants what OW want after the A has ended, closure. She wants closure and surety that her intuitions of him having an A was not her losing her mind but him playing a dangerous game with her heart.

 

I would not contact her. Eventually, if you all live in the same town or nearby, you will run across her and maybe then you will be able to have a conversation with her or maybe she will have moved on from the betrayal.

 

I've no intentions of contacting her. According to ex MM she is after blood. I don't blame her bit I'm not the guilty party of his affair of last 2 years. He's only confessed to last 2 years and not the previous 4 years of our affair.

[aileD]

I've no intentions of contacting her. According to ex MM she is after blood. I don't blame her bit I'm not the guilty party of his affair of last 2 years. He's only confessed to last 2 years and not the previous 4 years of our affair.

 

You're HALF the guilty party in the affair you had with him.

[NTV]

My blood ran cold.

 

Well yeah who knows what someone who's be screwed over that badly would do or say? Could you imagine being betrayed for that long?

 

That's like being ripped off by madoff, your company dropping your pension, having your identity stolen, your bank selling your house by accident with no recourse for you all on one day and your brother is your accountant who lined it all up. Then repeat with four new brutal screwed up things every day for a year.

 

Lol, I wouldn't wish what your exmm did to her on my worst enemy.

[Bufo]

You have no dog in this fight. (American idiom not a personal attack).

Just stay away. I suspect the purpose of such a meeting is not to make you happier or wiser. So just ignore this invitation (it's not for a Command Performance, is it?).

 

There is another contraindications. The topic or topics were not disclosed. Never ever agree to a meeting requested by an adversary or potential adversary if there is no fixed agenda. The person on the other side of the table has had weeks if not longer to consider what to ask for at the meeting. You have not.

(Odd for American to be giving diplomacy lesson to a Brit but my mother and all her family were Brits so it's in the blood I guess.)

[Dog Woman]

You're HALF the guilty party in the affair you had with him.

 

I know. It's not something I'm proud of. I can understand how his ex wife feels. I'm getting a little taste of it. He's betrayed me too in a way and another party - the woman he's had an affair with for the last two years when he tried to get back with me. I feel angry too. I feel like seeking some kind of revenge but I know if I do the truth will come out.

[Starswillshine]

I can hear the song "2 black Cadillacs" playing.

 

I can respect your decision to not contact her or want any contact at all. You never know what that may bring on you. I was kind to the OW and wasn't our for her blood. Although, when she continued to harass me, well, it became a different ballgame.

[S2B]

It would be easier if you simply never speak to either one of them again. The MM and his exW.

 

Evidently the MM has another gal now so I wouldn't think he'd be pursuing you too - unless he misses having two women at one time. ?

 

Just don't allow any interaction with either of them - including the show you're doing...even IF he walks right up to you and starts talking - just calmly turn and walk away.

 

Give him no energy and no effort.

[WarriorBabe]

I've no intentions of contacting her. According to ex MM she is after blood. I don't blame her bit I'm not the guilty party of his affair of last 2 years. He's only confessed to last 2 years and not the previous 4 years of our affair.

 

Of course he hasn't confessed to the 4 years of the affair. Why would he?

 

Despite the slogan, "Not my monkeys" or something similiar to what people have said regarding NOT being responsible for having an affair with a married person, you played a part in his marriage. You had a relationship with her husband. Despite how bad he claimed the marriage was/is, etc., at that time, he was still her husband and fault lies 50/50.

[whichwayisup]

Block exMM on fb and tell the mutual friend to stop telling you stuff about him! NC is NC. You're going to get sucked back into it if you keep in contact with him and lose all the hard work you've done by getting over him.

[Dog Woman]

I have blocked him and I've no intention of contacting her or him again. I suppose the other way of looking at this is that Ive been forewarned hell be at the show on Monday so I know I can take steps to ensure I avoid him. I do believe now that it was him that posted on my fb postings and not his ex wife. He did mention that although he's got a new girlfriend life isn't happy for him so I suspect he's tried to get back with me again. In another way it has just racked up all the guilt I felt and the reason I ended the affair two years ago.

[Dog Woman]

Since I got two messages posted on my fb page book page, allegedly from my ex MM's ex wife, I have contacted a therapist psychologist because I want to bring a final closure on myvaaffair with my ex MM. I wish I had done this ages ago. I told her everything about the affair and the latest contact from ex MM throughvfb and text. ,She does believe itcwas him that posted and not his wife even though he denied it. As he has someone else now she believes he is trying to bring some kind of closure to our relationship and was reaching out to apologise for any hurt he has caused me as he said in one text he acknowledged he had hurt people. She said that I my response to him that I was happy he'd found someone else and I didn't bear any grudges was the right thing to say so I can bring closure and finally find some peace. She doesn't think hell attempt any contact again. I feel a weight has been finally lifted.

[Dog Woman]

Since I got two messages posted on my fb page book page, allegedly from my ex MM's ex wife, I have contacted a therapist psychologist because I want to bring a final closure on myvaaffair with my ex MM. I wish I had done this ages ago. I told her everything about the affair and the latest contact from ex MM throughvfb and text. ,She does believe itcwas him that posted and not his wife even though he denied it. As he has someone else now she believes he is trying to bring some kind of closure to our relationship and was reaching out to apologise for any hurt he has caused me as he said in one text he acknowledged he had hurt people. She said that I my response to him that I was happy he'd found someone else and I didn't bear any grudges was the right thing to say so I can bring closure and finally find some peace. She doesn't think hell attempt any contact again. I feel a weight has been finally lifted.