MeadowFlower Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 Do you think a girl with a below average looking face or even 'ugly' has the right to date a good looking guy? And would it be a let down for the guy not to get a nice looking girl? No nasty comments please , but you may still share your opinions. People are equal in this respect even if they differ in facial appearance, but some probably think otherwise when it comes to relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Tressugar Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 The right? Anyone has the right to date anyone who they wish just as long it is mutually consensual and age consenting. Attractiveness is relative. What one culture thinks is attractive may not be considered attractive for another culture. May not be the answer you're seeking or wanting to hear, but it's an answer. 13 Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 Do you think a girl with a below average looking face or even 'ugly' has the right to date a good looking guy? In what backwards country and under what asinine law would this be? In most societies, people have the "right" to date whoever they want. Whether or not they have the ability to is a different story. And would it be a let down for the guy not to get a nice looking girl? Most men appreciate beauty. Some will date less than conventionally "nice looking" women because they can't do better, or for a variety of other reasons. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted April 30, 2017 Author Share Posted April 30, 2017 I don't mean right as in legal right. Should have phrased the question differently. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Titanll Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 Help us out here. You have a question and we will give our opinions but it is a strange question. As stated, attraction is subjective. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 What I find attractive, and what you find attractive are two different things. I may look at someone and say.. WHOA! What a HOTTIE! You might look at that same person and say, EW not in your life! and vice versa.... when you see an attractive man with a "ugly" girl.. she is only ugly by your opinion of attractiveness. He sees someone he loves, and someone hes attracted to. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted April 30, 2017 Author Share Posted April 30, 2017 Help us out here. You have a question and we will give our opinions but it is a strange question. As stated, attraction is subjective. I guess it could be likened to past eras where class was an issue. If a girl is below average in her facial looks, and she wishes to date a guy who is better looking, does she have the same standing as a pretty girl would to approach the guy or show an interest? Would it be like 'Sheesh, what is this girl thinking? She's way beneath my league!' Also would the guy feel let down if say he liked her a bit personality wise but would he have that kinda let down feeling, because she isn't pretty. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Titanll Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 I guess it could be likened to past eras where class was an issue. If a girl is below average in her facial looks, and she wishes to date a guy who is better looking, does she have the same standing as a pretty girl would to approach the guy or show an interest? Would it be like 'Sheesh, what is this girl thinking? She's way beneath my league!' Also would the guy feel let down if say he liked her a bit personality wise but would he have that kinda let down feeling, because she isn't pretty. Ok, no one can quantify attractiveness and I would warn against listening to any advice that sounds like it can be quantified. You sound young and may consider yourself unattractive. My advice, ask the guy out. He may think you're gorgeous. And, if he doesn't...it doesn't mean that you are not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted April 30, 2017 Author Share Posted April 30, 2017 Ok, no one can quantify attractiveness and I would warn against listening to any advice that sounds like it can be quantified. You sound young and may consider yourself unattractive. My advice, ask the guy out. He may think you're gorgeous. And, if he doesn't...it doesn't mean that you are not. Thanks for your reply. Lol I am not young. ? Link to post Share on other sites
avvril3000 Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 are you asking this because you believe yourself, that you are unattractive to men? and if so, what about you do you think makes you unattractive? In terms of right, everybody has a right to date whoever they want. personally, as a female, in my life experience, i find the more attractive (in terms of what society says an attractive man is) the man, the more vanilla and boring their personality is. Over time, i've come to be NOT attracted to these attractive men. Even when dating them, i was bored within 3 weeks max. I think that goes the same for women and men. yeah when you're young, you are attracted to the best face and the best body you see. but in maturing, and with age, and life experience, you realize that there is so much more to attractiveness than just a magazine type body(and face). there is so much more depth to attractiveness. you actually realize that a lot of these people with magazine type bodies and faces, are actually not very complex human beings. yes once in a blue moon, you will find someone with both qualities. that magazine type face and body, and a kick ass amazing charming personality that draws you in. But then... are they trustworthy? are they humble? ... attraction versus whats healthy and good for you in a relationship, is a fine line. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Titanll Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 are you asking this because you believe yourself, that you are unattractive to men? and if so, what about you do you think makes you unattractive? In terms of right, everybody has a right to date whoever they want. personally, as a female, in my life experience, i find the more attractive (in terms of what society says an attractive man is) the man, the more vanilla and boring their personality is. Over time, i've come to be NOT attracted to these attractive men. Even when dating them, i was bored within 3 weeks max. I think that goes the same for women and men. yeah when you're young, you are attracted to the best face and the best body you see. but in maturing, and with age, and life experience, you realize that there is so much more to attractiveness than just a magazine type body(and face). there is so much more depth to attractiveness. you actually realize that a lot of these people with magazine type bodies and faces, are actually not very complex human beings. yes once in a blue moon, you will find someone with both qualities. that magazine type face and body, and a kick ass amazing charming personality that draws you in. But then... are they trustworthy? are they humble? ... attraction versus whats healthy and good for you in a relationship, is a fine line. This is the kind of post that I was talking about. What is the magazine type? Please quantify what attractiveness is...if you are on a magazine cover you are attractive? Ugly=good husband/wife/great personality Hot = good lover/bad husband or wife/horrible personality Ridiculous... All of my relationships have been with incredibly attractive women (my definition). Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 I guess it could be likened to past eras where class was an issue. If a girl is below average in her facial looks, and she wishes to date a guy who is better looking, does she have the same standing as a pretty girl would to approach the guy or show an interest? Would it be like 'Sheesh, what is this girl thinking? She's way beneath my league!' Also would the guy feel let down if say he liked her a bit personality wise but would he have that kinda let down feeling, because she isn't pretty. I am reeling with the shallowness of this whole concept. It's almost like you have no experience with people who love each other for who they are - not what they look like. Sorry to not be much help - It's just that I cannot even begin to get into your head space here. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
avvril3000 Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 This is the kind of post that I was talking about. What is the magazine type? Please quantify what attractiveness is...if you are on a magazine cover you are attractive? Ugly=good husband/wife/great personality Hot = good lover/bad husband or wife/horrible personality Ridiculous... All of my relationships have been with incredibly attractive women (my definition). I said this was MY experience....am i not allowed my own opinion here? she was looking for opinions. fit, ripped body and perfect face has equated through experience to be boring guys, boring personalities yet untrustworthy. I did not say this is a fact, i stated very clearly that this has been MY experience. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
avvril3000 Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 This is the kind of post that I was talking about. What is the magazine type? Please quantify what attractiveness is...if you are on a magazine cover you are attractive? Ugly=good husband/wife/great personality Hot = good lover/bad husband or wife/horrible personality Ridiculous... All of my relationships have been with incredibly attractive women (my definition). i also mentioned how there is so much more to attractiveness than just the physical. so i dont know why you're ripping into me here. geez. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 Do you think a girl with a below average looking face or even 'ugly' has the right to date a good looking guy? And would it be a let down for the guy not to get a nice looking girl? No nasty comments please , but you may still share your opinions. People are equal in this respect even if they differ in facial appearance, but some probably think otherwise when it comes to relationships. What?! What do you mean 'has the right?' This is not about rights! Yeah, it would be nice if people didn't focus on looks, but we do. I don't see any reason why a so-called less attractive person should not be with a so-called more attractive person. For the most part, you see many 'attractive' women in relationships with 'lesser' attractive men. Don't know what this post will accomplish. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 It isn't about having the right. It's about whether the good looking one has any interest or not (and usually they will not). I mean, both people have to want to date each other most places on earth, and a lot goes by physical attraction when you first meet and there is nothing else to go on. Most people do not get to date people much more attractive than they are, but it happens. If you're talking about an arranged thing in a culture where that is how it's done, then it's up to the arrangers, which sucks for the two being made to be together. Link to post Share on other sites
Titanll Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 Thanks for your reply. Lol I am not young. ? I assumed that you were young and thought yourself unattractive. You answered one question... Are you attractive? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 if you look hard enough you can find beauty in everyone....."beauty is in the eye of the beholder"...deb 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted April 30, 2017 Author Share Posted April 30, 2017 I am reeling with the shallowness of this whole concept. It's almost like you have no experience with people who love each other for who they are - not what they look like. Sorry to not be much help - It's just that I cannot even begin to get into your head space here. You are right, it is shallow. But this concept stereotypically exists with males. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 if you look hard enough you can find beauty in everyone....."beauty is in the eye of the beholder"...deb So true. There is nothing shallow about being attracted to someone based on a natural, organic criteria. What I mean is, if you are attracted to a certain characteristic and it originates from your own natural inclinations and not based on something artificial, then there's nothing wrong with it. I find natural gingers and raven-haired women most attractive. I try to seek out such women, but I will not dismiss others. I simply have an instinctive attraction towards such women. Nothing shallow about that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 You are right, it is shallow. But this concept stereotypically exists with males. are you saying males are this way opposed to females being shallow as well....deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
avvril3000 Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 So true. There is nothing shallow about being attracted to someone based on a natural, organic criteria. What I mean is, if you are attracted to a certain characteristic and it originates from your own natural inclinations and not based on something artificial, then there's nothing wrong with it. I find natural gingers and raven-haired women most attractive. I try to seek out such women, but I will not dismiss others. I simply have an instinctive attraction towards such women. Nothing shallow about that. it's true.. some physical appearances attract you more, but it doesnt mean someone who isn't your preference of physical appearance isn't beautiful themselves. and someone else will find them absolutely amazing. however, i still think there is a whole other level of attractiveness to just physical. but that comes to play later, when you really get to know the people. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 it's true.. some physical appearances attract you more, but it doesnt mean someone who isn't your preference of physical appearance isn't beautiful themselves. and someone else will find them absolutely amazing. however, i still think there is a whole other level of attractiveness to just physical. but that comes to play later, when you really get to know the people. Yes, of course. When I date, I don't seek out the most beautiful woman. I first look at hair color then their face then profile. I am not seeking a model-type kind of beauty. Don't need that. I am most attracted to a certain facial type, structure than some model-type appearance. DOes that make sense? I've just been lucky to have married two gorgeous women. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted April 30, 2017 Author Share Posted April 30, 2017 are you saying males are this way opposed to females being shallow as well....deb There would be no doubt this with females also. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 You are right, it is shallow. But this concept stereotypically exists with males. And not females? Pfffft. For example, in Christian Rudder's book Dataclysm, he analyzes the data gleaned over the years from OKC, and women rate eighty percent of men as below average. And most women aren't interested in average; they're interested in five percenters. Of course those five percenters can be choosy, they may even be as choosy as most women. I think it's all caused by too many disney movies with princes and glass slippers... and that trashy novel entitled, The Decent of Man and Selection in Relation to Sex. Link to post Share on other sites
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