Author MeadowFlower Posted April 30, 2017 Author Share Posted April 30, 2017 And not females? Pfffft. For example, in Christian Rudder's book Dataclysm, he analyzes the data gleaned over the years from OKC, and women rate eighty percent of men as below average. And most women aren't interested in average; they're interested in five percenters. Of course those five percenters can be choosy, they may even be as choosy as most women. I think it's all caused by too many disney movies with princes and glass slippers... and that trashy novel entitled, The Decent of Man and Selection in Relation to Sex. See my above post. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted April 30, 2017 Author Share Posted April 30, 2017 So true. There is nothing shallow about being attracted to someone based on a natural, organic criteria. What I mean is, if you are attracted to a certain characteristic and it originates from your own natural inclinations and not based on something artificial, then there's nothing wrong with it. I find natural gingers and raven-haired women most attractive. I try to seek out such women, but I will not dismiss others. I simply have an instinctive attraction towards such women. Nothing shallow about that. So hypothetically how would you feel if a 'below average' woman was interested in you and approached you, like on OLD? What would you think? Has she no business as it were to even consider you (assuming in this story you are very attractive)? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 (edited) i like dark haired men with brown eyes....i am attracted to tones in voices...i am attracted to those features and characteristics...not everyone i have gone out with or dated has had dark hair and brown eyes.....i dont really have a type...but i have noticed the guys who ask me eout....or are attracted to me..are not all the same and really quite different...i tend to go out with guys who have guts enough to ask.....and i can find beauty ...in everyone...even if i have to squint harder ill squint harder.... i go for hearts more....big ones i dated a five foot guy ...women werent itnerested they used to make fun of him....until i started datign him and told them what i saw and what i knew.... .....then they seemed to show interest that has happened a few times....with different guys and me....guys overlooked ...become....more interesting to women when i date them.... i think its an availability challenge thing..... what has also happened to me also is that some friends of the guys i date find me ugly...especially when its model quality they are used to seeing with the guy i am with......until they get to know me....and their opinions change....i have ben called soem really cruel names......had horrible things said i dont understand really why......i think if i look anything....its gentle..i have a gentle face.....a bit haunted maybe sometimes....people become mroe attractive over time....thats fact..you notice flecks in eyes.....cheeky smiles....crinkly eyes......humor......loyalty....physical prowess.....many things that arent evident until you either know them better....or you are told about them you see that person in a different light..when i see a guy airborne in physicality my heart leaps ....literally with them..it excites me...hence my dating history i guess its fact i often end up with fighters or martial artists.......deb Edited April 30, 2017 by todreaminblue Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 There would be no doubt this with females also. i actually feel if anything women may just be....(gonna run after i post this)...at times more shallow than men.....more looks conscious of themselves for sure......more judgmental......including me....i will add...not beingshallow or judgmental is always a work in progress..and the hardest person i judge...is always me.....i think most women do.....slinks off now... i wasnt here...wasnt me...deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted April 30, 2017 Author Share Posted April 30, 2017 i actually feel if anything women may just be....(gonna run after i post this)...at times more shallow than men.....more looks conscious of themselves for sure......more judgmental......including me....i will add...not beingshallow or judgmental is always a work in progress..and the hardest person i judge...is always me.....i think most women do.....slinks off now... i wasnt here...wasnt me...deb We shouldn't be though, judgmental of our looks. It's like I read somewhere, it's a lottery and some people didn't win. Also gonna do a shoutout to Beauty Redefined, anyone go check them out on FB. They have some good stuff on there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 We shouldn't be though, judgmental of our looks. It's like I read somewhere, it's a lottery and some people didn't win. Also gonna do a shoutout to Beauty Redefined, anyone go check them out on FB. They have some good stuff on there. lovely quotes on https://beautyredefined.org/image-gallery/ very uplifting thanks for posting that site.....special stuff......deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted April 30, 2017 Author Share Posted April 30, 2017 lovely quotes on https://beautyredefined.org/image-gallery/ very uplifting thanks for posting that site.....special stuff......deb Check them out on Facebook too 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Lots of people are gorgeous (& some are downright ugly) if you look at them with your heart rather than your eyes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted May 1, 2017 Author Share Posted May 1, 2017 Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Lots of people are gorgeous (& some are downright ugly) if you look at them with your heart rather than your eyes. There would be guys who look with their heart. Wouldn't there be? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tressugar Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 A mature, well balanced man would. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Fair Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 (edited) Well, I've said this before, but here it is again. Men, when looking to settle down, look for a less attractive female to settle down with ... lots of studies on this, plus if you look around, you'll see it. Most attractive men are more attractive than their wives. And lets be fair to the OP, there is a certain standard to what most people rate as attractive and non attractive. Most people agree that fat is unattractive, for example, and so on, all the way up to faces... the more symmetrical the face the more attractive... it's just how it is. Edited May 1, 2017 by Fair Link to post Share on other sites
Tressugar Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 (edited) Fat? Again fat is very subjective according to a person's culture. For example, Kim K or even the legendary Marilyn Monroe is considered fat by many cultures i.e. Asian, but to some they're curvy. Both of these women have profit off of their looks in terms of beauty. Size 12 would not be considered fat to a 6'1" tall woman, but to a 5 foot woman then maybe curvy. Again one's body structure would have to play a factor. Edited May 1, 2017 by Tressugar Link to post Share on other sites
Fair Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 Fat? Again fat is very subjective according to a person's culture. For example, Kim K or even the legendary Marilyn Monroe is considered fat by many cultures i.e. Asian, but to some they're curvy. Both of these women have profit off of their looks in terms of beauty. Size 12 would not be considered fat to a 6'1" tall woman, but to a 5 foot woman then maybe curvy. Again one's body structure would have to play a factor. You can split hairs if you want to but fat is generally considered unattractive. And you know the kind of fat I mean. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tressugar Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 If you mean morbidly obese then say so. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 Well, I've said this before, but here it is again. Men, when looking to settle down, look for a less attractive female to settle down with ... lots of studies on this, plus if you look around, you'll see it. Most attractive men are more attractive than their wives. And lets be fair to the OP, there is a certain standard to what most people rate as attractive and non attractive. Most people agree that fat is unattractive, for example, and so on, all the way up to faces... the more symmetrical the face the more attractive... it's just how it is. Who cares what society considers unattractive? People may not be able to control what they personally find attractive, but talking about who is in or out of another person's league is just shallow and petty. Which I know friends (some people who I like) who have talked about other friends and said so-and-so could have done better, etc. And even I have said it in the past I'm sure. Doesn't matter. There's no way you can paint it where talk like that isn't shallow and petty. I actually think Melissa McCarthy is quite attractive. Her face is very beautiful. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fair Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 Who cares what society considers unattractive? People may not be able to control what they personally find attractive, but talking about who is in or out of another person's league is just shallow and petty. Which I know friends (some people who I like) who have talked about other friends and said so-and-so could have done better, etc. And even I have said it in the past I'm sure. Doesn't matter. There's no way you can paint it where talk like that isn't shallow and petty. I actually think Melissa McCarthy is quite attractive. Her face is very beautiful. It may be shallow and petty, but it doesn't change anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted May 1, 2017 Author Share Posted May 1, 2017 People may not be able to control what they personally find attractive, but talking about who is in or out of another person's league is just shallow and petty. Which I know friends (some people who I like) who have talked about other friends and said so-and-so could have done better, etc. And even I have said it in the past I'm sure. Doesn't matter. There's no way you can paint it where talk like that isn't shallow and petty. I'm sure there are some males who think they are somehow better than 'below average' looking girls, just because they came out onto the birthing blanket with 'good' genes and are consequently good looking and attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
Fair Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 Women are constantly frowned upon for the way they look particularly when it comes to weight because there's a societal standard on what is considered beautiful for a woman and fat isn't it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 It may be shallow and petty, but it doesn't change anything. Actually, when I got out of that way of thinking, it changed everything. Seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
Silverstring Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 Google the Matching Phenomenom. People match up in terms of physical attractiveness. Believe or not there's a lot of research on this subject and the findings are extremely consistent. So yes, anybody can date anybody, but when it comes to relationships, chances are really good that you'll end up with someone that matches your level of attractiveness. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted May 1, 2017 Author Share Posted May 1, 2017 Actually, when I got out of that way of thinking, it changed everything. Seriously. Please could you expand Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 Google the Matching Phenomenom. People match up in terms of physical attractiveness. Believe or not there's a lot of research on this subject and the findings are extremely consistent. So yes, anybody can date anybody, but when it comes to relationships, chances are really good that you'll end up with someone that matches your level of attractiveness. Good info, which I have also heard about. These are the general statistical facts in as much as you can quantify something like looks (you can to an extent, i.e. as mentioned above with things such as facial symmetry, youthful features & proportional dimensions on body frame). That is a general framework for what happens in life. As far as a very good looking guy, sometimes you will see him with a girl who is good looking but not as much as he is but on a sliding scale not by much less. It goes to prove that looks are just one of the factors that people take into account when they choose who they want to date/marry. In other words don't discount other parts of what you have to offer, such as your confidence, intelligence, personality, humor, kindness, etc. I think how it often shakes out is that many women take pretty good care of themselves as opposed to guys who may be less inclined to be focused on that kind of stuff and therefore have lots of opportunities for girlfriends who by appearances look better than they do. If you look around you will see lots of very pretty girls with average looking guys, because guys are less judged on looks. Also a guy is often (as old fashioned as it may be) has the opportunity to influence his attractiveness to girls by his status, financial position whereas a lot of guys don't put that high on the list of reasons they are drawn or not drawn to a girl. Maybe if you state the reason why you are curious in this subject we might be able to offer more specific answers? I basically think perhaps you are wondering from a flawed logic that the main or only that matters is what you or a person looks like--and it's not. Look at couples all around you--you will be surprised often. It will show you that sometimes that is a logic that seemingly plays out AND that it IS subjective too. I have met lots of great looking guys that I'm not attracted to in that way at all. Objectively I can say that they are good looking but the buck stops there. My group of girlfriends is really good looking but obviously every of them are a different types, hair colors, bodies and of course personalities etc and it can be a study in this phenomena too. How does one determine who is the prettiest? Even if you can objectively say this one is the prettiest, she didn't always get the hottest guys we meet. And it's different depending on the night and groups we end up hanging out with so just the base looks are not the only factor. If you are feeling unconfident or unsure about your own looks compared to others, your best weapon is to bolster your confidence and believe in yourself. There will always be someone both prettier and not as good looking as you are. The sooner you realize that on some level you have to let that go because that is the case and factor in that you attract a person on many levels so you have other ways BESIDES looks alone to draw someone to you, the better. In the meantime, maximize what you were given looks-wise because it will give you the best advantage & give you more opportunities to expose some guy you find cute to the other great things about you. And if you feel good about yourself you will reflect that. Good luck 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 So hypothetically how would you feel if a 'below average' woman was interested in you and approached you, like on OLD? What would you think? Has she no business as it were to even consider you (assuming in this story you are very attractive)? I can't begin to imagine a man reacting like this. But as nothing is impossible, I would say that only a man at the pinnacle of self absorbtion and vanity would think this way. This is the kind of man where one would be wise to give no Fks as to what they think. Worrying about how other people react to us reaching out to them (unless of course, we're doing something hurtful) is a pointless exercise. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 (edited) I am average or ugly. Ugly face hot body. My bf dated me because he found me very attractive. He has no clue that I am not considered "attractive ". I mean, I am sure he is well aware that I am not exactly model material, but he DOES believe that I am considered an attractive girl. Not all men with average chicks like my bf, KNOW they are "are not dating a pretty girl ". Because they find us pretty. They didn't have to consciously settle at all. While most people overlook my features, my bf liked my fuller lips and blue sparkly eyes. Plain Janes like me DO manage to find guys who find SOMETHING about us that sparks their interest and desire. A plain girl can have a nice smile. Edited May 1, 2017 by Leigh 87 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 Do you think a girl with a below average looking face or even 'ugly' has the right to date a good looking guy? And would it be a let down for the guy not to get a nice looking girl? No nasty comments please , but you may still share your opinions. People are equal in this respect even if they differ in facial appearance, but some probably think otherwise when it comes to relationships. My bf is a good looking guy and I am completely considered "ugly" or plain. He thinks I'm gorgeous. You are a shallow person. I had the right to date anyone I wanted thank you. My less than stellar appearance does not mean I need to somehow wilt away and die alone with no sex or dating partners. Plus looks can be subjective and I have always had men who found me pretty despite being ugly to the masses. Link to post Share on other sites
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