Appearance and Dating

[Eternal Sunshine]

I find that when you see a large discrepancy in looks of partners (particularly an attractive man with a lot less attractive woman), you would be surprised if you looked at the pictures of what they were like when they first met. Often people's appearances change a lot through the years and most women have a natural disadvantage of gaining weight after childbirth.

 

I have seen more examples of woman being the more attractive of the two but even then, it's within the ballpark (many studies have shown that men are more into looks where women are more into the "whole package").

[Miss Spider]

Studies show people usually pair with people of similar attractiveness. We just seem to notice the outliers more often.

[CptInsano]

Studies show people usually pair with people of similar attractiveness. We just seem to notice the outliers more often.

 

While that is true, homophily extends to other attributes as well, such as socioeconomic background, worldview, geography, or political views, or sexual preferences. A discrepancy in one area may be compensated by matching well overall.

[SwordofFlame]

Well to the extent that you have other attractive non-physical features to compensate it can help somewhat. However, generally speaking, men value a women's looks more so than vice versa.

[stillafool]

I find that when you see a large discrepancy in looks of partners (particularly an attractive man with a lot less attractive woman), you would be surprised if you looked at the pictures of what they were like when they first met. Often people's appearances change a lot through the years and most women have a natural disadvantage of gaining weight after childbirth.

 

I have seen more examples of woman being the more attractive of the two but even then, it's within the ballpark (many studies have shown that men are more into looks where women are more into the "whole package").

 

This is so true. I remember how harsh people were on Barbara Bush when George was President saying she looked like his mother. I saw a documentary with them back in their college days and she was very pretty when they were young. I could definitely see why he fell for her.

[CptInsano]

Well to the extent that you have other attractive non-physical features to compensate it can help somewhat. However, generally speaking, men value a women's looks more so than vice versa.

 

I would say that men admit to it more openly. But ever since the role of the man as the sole provider is moving into the background, women become just as selective in the looks department. Or to be blunt, I consider women to be more selective overall when looking for a romantic partner.

[stillafool]

My bf is a good looking guy and I am completely considered "ugly" or plain.

 

He thinks I'm gorgeous.

 

You are a shallow person. I had the right to date anyone I wanted thank you. My less than stellar appearance does not mean I need to somehow wilt away and die alone with no sex or dating partners.

 

Plus looks can be subjective and I have always had men who found me pretty despite being ugly to the masses.

 

I've never thought you were ugly.

[stillafool]

I'm sure there are some males who think they are somehow better than 'below average' looking girls, just because they came out onto the birthing blanket with 'good' genes and are consequently good looking and attractive.

 

OP women are just as shallow as men. After all, you are the one who is interested in attracting this good looking guy when there are so many not so good looking ones to chose from as well.

[MeadowFlower]

 

 

You are a shallow person. I had the right to date anyone I wanted thank you.

Of course you do. I was asking a question. And you do not need to judge me as shallow - you do not know me. And did you not read that I said, "People are equal in this respect even if they differ in facial appearance, but some probably think otherwise when it comes to relationships

."

Edited May 1, 2017 by MeadowFlower

[MeadowFlower]

Okay guys we can just leave it there..

 

 

I guess there will be some males who would disregard a girl because she is 'out of his league' as in less good looking, and some who won't. And yes there would be girls the same.

 

 

?

[GunslingerRoland]

I find there are almost some universal trends in attractiveness, but when it comes to unattractiveness there is more variation.

 

You show a picture of Ryan Reynolds or Jennifer Lawrence to most people and almost everyone will agree they are attractive.

 

But when it comes to less "perfect" people some features become much more important to some than others. Hence why someone like Leigh who has been called ugly by some, is considered very attractive by most others.

 

Also especially when it comes to men there are a lot of men (some quite attractive) who are absolutely unable to find a woman. If you can find (and get along with) men who fit this profile it would be an easier path to dating above your "league" so to speak.

 

But you have a right to date anyone you choose as long as they consent.

[Miss Spider]

My dad was a very attractive man in his prime. Easily could have done something with his looks, but thats not him. Anyway. The stories he and my entire family tell of his glory days... lol. He wasn't successful at this time, just a pretty boy, and was drowning in women...

 

He slept with a number of women married to well-to-do men, but were apparently not in love And looking to get an itch scratched. One woman he slept with, he got chased out of the house by her doctor husband with a rifle. He had to jump out of a window hahah he admits he want a paragon of morality when he was 26

 

My mom and my dad are similar attractiveness. Imo. They're both beautiful inside and out. But just about everyone admits, including my mom, my dad was objectively wow in his prime

Edited May 1, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[WaitingForBardot]

/..snip../ Or to be blunt, I consider women to be more selective overall when looking for a romantic partner.

A study I read concluded that, generally speaking, not only were women more selective, they were also more aware (than men) of their position in the food chain so to speak, specifically how they themselves measured up against the competition and what they could expect in return for it. Typically, they didn't settle for less than they were worth on the open market.

[Fair]

I can't begin to imagine a man reacting like this. But as nothing is impossible, I would say that only a man at the pinnacle of self absorbtion and vanity would think this way. This is the kind of man where one would be wise to give no Fks as to what they think.

 

Oh please, you see this all the time. Who has never seen this? I've seen it more often than not. "can't begin to imagine a man reacting like this..." Really? Are we on different planets or what? Sheesh.

[JuneL]

This is so true. I remember how harsh people were on Barbara Bush when George was President saying she looked like his mother. I saw a documentary with them back in their college days and she was very pretty when they were young. I could definitely see why he fell for her.

 

My friends all say Barack is a lot more good-looking than Michelle, Diana is way way more good-looking than Charles...

[JuneL]

You show a picture of Ryan Reynolds or Jennifer Lawrence to most people and almost everyone will agree they are attractive.

 

 

Ryan Reynolds attractive? Sorry can't agree

[spiderowl]

I know a lot of people think looks are what matter, but guys need to feel a real connection just like women do. They are swayed by looks (as are women) but what is more powerful is that connection that just cannot be denied. When that happens, looks become irrelevant. A disparity in looks is superficial. It might affect people on initial contact but thereafter personality, connection and bonding become more important factors.

[LivingWaterPlease]

Appearances are just one factor that comprises how attractive a person is to the opposite sex. But, it's often the first thing about a person everyone who has eyes to see notices. The more pleasant the appearance the greater appeal a person has to most normal people unless the person is trying to stay away from good-looking people for personal reasons. To deny this is to be out-of-touch with reality.

 

I am in the business of marketing beauty and I can tell you unequivocally people who have eyes that see are positively influenced by physical appearances of others, of cars, of houses, of plants, of stones, of clothing, of anything at all that exists. When we see something, we form an opinion of it even if it's a subconscious opinion.

 

Beauty is a multi-billion dollar business for a reason and not because beauty only appeals to superficial people.

 

In my opinion, it's sour grapes to disparage a person for being attracted to another who is good looking.

 

However, after that first visual moment other senses that make a person attractive or unattractive come into play, such as auditory, olfactory, personality, temperament, etc. Both our senses and our wisdom or lack thereof affect us all and it seems to me if we deny that we are lying or are clueless, possibly insensitive.

 

It seems to me there are a multitude of factors that influence us all at different points of association as we get to know a person.

 

This is why we can fall gradually in love with someone who may not have particularly appealed to us at first.

 

There are factors such as fragrance, articulation, intelligence, temperament, personality, integrity, etc., that come into play as we get acquainted with a person.

 

Seems to me that's why it's good to take a relationship fairly slowly when dating. You may have been drawn to a beautiful narcissist, or good-looking crook or slob, a handsome man without much common sense, etc.

 

All that said, seems there is someone for everyone! Don't be discouraged no matter what your appearance is. Develop your potential as a person in every way you can, work hard, treat others the way you'd like to be treated. Keep yourself clean and well groomed, etc. Respect your face and body by taking care of it. Be kind! Be honest! Most people will find their companion but whether you are gorgeous or plain, it may take time to find the right one!

[Fair]

I know a lot of people think looks are what matter, but guys need to feel a real connection just like women do. They are swayed by looks (as are women) but what is more powerful is that connection that just cannot be denied. When that happens, looks become irrelevant. A disparity in looks is superficial. It might affect people on initial contact but thereafter personality, connection and bonding become more important factors.

 

One always hopes it's a man saying things like this, but when you look at the public profile, it never is.

[jamili]

Meadow! Your PM box is down :0