Author BoopBoo Posted May 18, 2017 Author Share Posted May 18, 2017 This is a very interesting thing you talk about here. This has happened to me a few times in my life. I would cry out that I just wanted the pain to stop and to no longer be in love with this person, but then I would also on the flip side be saying that I don't want to let go and stop loving this person either (even though I was in such pain because in reality I had nothing to attach this love to anymore). I didn't want to let go because that meant that I was no longer in love, and I wanted so much to be in love. Honestly, the answer is to hold on simply until you don't care to anymore. You can't force it. Each time I went through this with strict NC, it took roughly 5 months before I finally naturally let go because I was just downright over holding onto nothing. I guess for me that's the time it took for my psyche to accept that it was really nothing I was grasping. Yeah that pretty much sums up what I've been going through! It's interesting, I've noticed that I've been getting better. Almost made it through this week without getting down for more than a couple of minutes. Today I thought a lot about her- on the plus side it doesn't hurt nearly as bad as it did. I know I'm not over her yet, saying I am would be denial- that being said I'm heading in the right direction. Time will definitely help. Just sucks that I can't get that quick fix- most things in life that I've wanted I've been able to get through a combination of hard work, determination and some good fortune. Getting over the person I love- can't really brute force my way through it, hence part of my frustration. If yin is acceptance and patience=getting over my ex through time and yang=forcing my emotions to be where I want them/trying to reverse the situation then I am yang to the max. Letting go and accepting that not having control is ok is pretty tough. I miss that girl like no one else and it's a damn shame because she was truly loved; I have a feeling that once she grows up a little more and sees life, feelings and relationships for what they really are she's going to look back and have an oh **** moment. Haha but that is neither here nor there, and when/of that moment comes, I'll already be long past the point of caring and hopefully happy in love with someone who will love me like I love them- fully, unconditionally and always until my last breath Link to post Share on other sites
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