dogloverof2 Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 (edited) My husband and I are remodeling our house. He told me one day...."get everything you'd like to have in it. I don't know anything about that stuff." This past weekend we talked about light fixtures. we agreed to get all the fixtures with light bulb bases the same size so we don't have to buy a bunch of different light bulbs when they need replaced.. Today I went Shopping and picked out fixtures and yes...2 fixtures I picked out had smaller light bulb bases in them... He got mad said that we talked about the light bulbs and I went and did the opposite I agreed to do. I asked him is he wanted to go to the light store and help me pick out the light fixtures, (cause they aren't paid for yet). He then said no, didn't I tell you to pick out what you wanted.. I said yes, you have told me that a lot. Now he is acting like a baby and is pouting. I got what I wanted..... why does it matter, really about the light bulb base??? What a stupid disagreement....Laugh if you want to!! Edited May 1, 2017 by dogloverof2 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 Is this something worth fighting or pouting about? Why did you pick ones with different bulbs if you both had agreed otherwise? Me, I would have probably sent a text "hey, turns out I really like the ones that take a different bulb, does that work?" And if he made a stink, to me, it wouldn't be worth a battle and I would pick out ones that stuck to the original plan. Once again, communication can prevent conflicts. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dogloverof2 Posted May 1, 2017 Author Share Posted May 1, 2017 Is this something worth fighting or pouting about? Why did you pick ones with different bulbs if you both had agreed otherwise? Me, I would have probably sent a text "hey, turns out I really like the ones that take a different bulb, does that work?" And if he made a stink, to me, it wouldn't be worth a battle and I would pick out ones that stuck to the original plan. Once again, communication can prevent conflicts. I likes the style of light fixture from a different store.. Yes communication can prevent conflict, but when someone tells you to get what you want, wouldn't you get what you want? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 I likes the style of light fixture from a different store.. Yes communication can prevent conflict, but when someone tells you to get what you want, wouldn't you get what you want? Not when after that you'd made a different agreement. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 Will this matter a year from now? If not, move on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 Wait a second here.... light fixtures take light bulbs? !?! Man, my house is dark as **** and I always thought I was just depressed.... 5 Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 Two questions to ponder: Does your husband generally get upset over minor things like this? Do you have a habit of making an agreement and then doing something else? I find it hard to believe this is about the light bulbs but if it is your husband may have some anger issues he needs to deal with. In his defense you did go against the agreement but this is one of the most petty arguments I've ever heard of. Since you were the one to make the decision to go for a different type of fixture, it should be your responsibility to make sure you have both types of bulbs on hand. Just keep a few different types of bulbs stocked in the closet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 I likes the style of light fixture from a different store.. Yes communication can prevent conflict, but when someone tells you to get what you want, wouldn't you get what you want? For future reference- you made an agreement to get all the same bulb. He also said get what you want. I would interpret that to be get whatever design you want within the boundaries of all being the same bulb 3 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 (edited) Seems to me this is about more than the light bulb fixtures, as another poster pointed out. What is it about your relationship that could grate on him? Is one of you a control freak and the other a free-spirit type? In your place I'd tell him, "You know, you're right about this. I should have checked first since we'd made an agreement. I really like these fixtures, though, so how about if we swap out and you get your way about blah blah blah and we keep the fixtures? Would that work for you? If not, I'll take them back." Offer him something appealing. Case solved. (Maybe!) Edited May 2, 2017 by LivingWaterPlease Link to post Share on other sites
oldlion Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 This is just a minor husband and wife having different view points. Just tell him you followed his instructions and got what you wanted. And what you wanted happened to not have been the same bulb size. You have to remember, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." Read the book. I wish you well. Link to post Share on other sites
Unforseen Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 Problem solved with one trip to the nearest hardware store. Go on down and get a set of LED bulbs. Then buy one full replacement set. When all those go dead in about 20 years you may have a problem again. But for now the primary issue of not having the correct replacement bulbs will be solved! And you get the fixtures you like! Win-win for everyone! I find that giving ground and apologizing rather than forcing the issue, especially where it's a matter of low priority, does a great deal of good. But then again I'm a guy and wrong all the time. Odds are your H was stressed or upset about something else when your little faux pas occurred. I'm certain you didn't spitefully purchase fixtures with non Edison bases specifically to spite your husband and thwart his plans of bulb standardization anymore than he is out to ruin your dream renovation with rigid specification. Someone was only "wrong" if the disagreement continues. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 Wait a second here.... light fixtures take light bulbs? !?! Man, my house is dark as **** and I always thought I was just depressed.... lol hahahahahahahahahahaha ...:0)..why is this so funny to me? yep losin it....big time.....deb 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Superchicken Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 Ok, ok.. I had a similar (OK, the same !) issue as you did. When we built our house here on the farm 4 years ago, we went through similar issues. You can imagine our discussions, as the whole house was designed by me and the miss's. So, I can understand why he would get huffy, and pouty. I can bet my "Never to get" Hall pass, that he had his own plans, and that either the style, or type of lights didn't agree to his. You need to find out what the plans are, and discuss them. Man, when my wife was asking me "Which tiles do you like", to me, it was like "Does this make me look fat". So if I didn't agree to her choices, its the Berlin bombing raid all over again.. Be the smarter person (Easy for you girls, as we have to work on it), apologies, and say you need his help to choose. Were kids at times, and need our mum.. Play it smart, and you will get the lights you want. Its called "Trading" something you have, that he wants, and vice versa.. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 Remodeling is expensive & stressful. My husband took the same "hands off" -- pick what you want I don't know anything about this stuff -- approach your husband did. But I knew better. He has to live here too & if I made it all too feminine he would be unhappy. So when I got him to give input I made sure to do as he suggested. It really isn't about the light bulbs. It's about him not feeling heard. He feels like you wasted his time by making him give input then ignoring him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 Ok, ok.. I had a similar (OK, the same !) issue as you did. When we built our house here on the farm 4 years ago, we went through similar issues. You can imagine our discussions, as the whole house was designed by me and the miss's. So, I can understand why he would get huffy, and pouty. I can bet my "Never to get" Hall pass, that he had his own plans, and that either the style, or type of lights didn't agree to his. You need to find out what the plans are, and discuss them. Man, when my wife was asking me "Which tiles do you like", to me, it was like "Does this make me look fat". So if I didn't agree to her choices, its the Berlin bombing raid all over again.. Be the smarter person (Easy for you girls, as we have to work on it), apologies, and say you need his help to choose. Were kids at times, and need our mum.. Play it smart, and you will get the lights you want. Its called "Trading" something you have, that he wants, and vice versa.. Man, when my wife was asking me "Which tiles do you like", to me, it was like "Does this make me look fat". So if I didn't agree to her choices, its the Berlin bombing raid all over again.. you are a very clever funny superchicken...you make me smile....smart chooky..so you know i can hypnotise chickens.....:0)...i had a very fun childhood......deb Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 Will this matter a year from now? I was thinking more like a day from now. He feels like you wasted his time by making him give input then ignoring him. My wife does this all the time with fashion and decor items, it's become a joke between us. Though based on my struggles to assemble matching clothes each day, hard to blame her. I actually think she has great taste - after all, she picked me ... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Superchicken Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 you are a very clever funny superchicken...you make me smile....smart chooky..so you know i can hypnotise chickens.....:0)...i had a very fun childhood......deb You can always try to hypno me. Look me up on facebook and post your hypno eyes. Or Message me for an Aussie chat if you like. Not expecting anything, but have your credit card details ready . I assume your an Aussie. In any case, its not as easy as you think. I don't fall thaaaaaattt eaaaaasssyy .. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Ted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Davey L Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 (edited) As a man I can see his point of view. I don't care what the lights look like or how ugly they are so long as they emit light and use standard bulbs. My wife, as a woman, doesn't care if they work or if you can even get the bulbs at all so long as they look nice. Together we muddle through in a compromise where I tut endlessly about the poor functionality of her choices and she moans about the things I choose. That's life, and I get a nicer-looking house than if I lived on my own and she gets a house where things actually work. And I should add that I actually like popped bulbs because they save electricity. Edited May 2, 2017 by Davey L Link to post Share on other sites
Johnsmith1003 Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 It really isn't about the light bulbs. It's about him not feeling heard. He feels like you wasted his time by making him give input then ignoring him. ZING. Right there. It's that the husband originally didn't know anything about it so when she tapped his opinion, he felt included and gave it. Then suddenly it wasn't what he agreed on anyway so why gauge his input? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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