Feeling the depression spike again..

[anynomous34]

Was recently diagnosed with Major Depression..

it comes and goes... I just feel so sad right now..and I feel so alone..I've literally pushed away all of my friends.. and now feel like I have no one here for me... I'm so emotional right now.. and my period isn't til the end of the month...

 

i have no motivation sometimes... and i often wonder what's the use in working so hard for success... Im single too so i feel like the likelyhood for having a family is slim.. i feel if i had a child i'd have more to want to live for another person.. ... other times.. Im extremely grateful for the opportunity to be single and have all this freedom and can please all of my needs without having another person ... it has its pros and cons..

 

Yes, I've taken my meds.. and yes i read about my condition.. how do you get out of your rutt... Mind over matter.. i know this.. but I feel so tired and lethargic :/

 

I want to get better... :confused:

[GorillaTheater]

Yes, I've taken my meds..

 

 

ADs? Give them about two weeks to kick in. After that, go back to your doctor to change meds if you aren't feeling a little better.

 

 

Are you doing any talk therapy/counseling? How about exercise?

 

 

Hang in there. This is a battle you can win.

[preraph]

Agree with the above ^. Meds take time and then you report any side effects to the doctor and let him decide it's time or not to adjust the meds.

 

Bringing a child in would likely put you right over the edge. You obviously have no idea how hard and stressful that is. You need to get better first. Just don't make the mistake of adjusting or stopping your meds yourself. There are hundreds of combinations of drugs you can try. Just communicate well with your doctor. If you have trouble reaching him, drop a note to give to him at his office. I hope you're seeing an actual psychiatrist who is best qualified to deal with this. Other doctors will prescribe the meds, but it's not their speciality, so they tend to "try this" and just see if it works. But keep the doc posted on side effects and how you're feeling emotionally and if he/she is a good doctor, they will refer you if they find it's over their head.

[todreaminblue]

when i go on meds i have to go to a psyche hospital until they kick in its normally twenty eight day minimum for me......i live with clinical depression unmedicated.....

 

what i try to do when i feel myself slipping.....is go easy ...do art, write some poetry,jounral and watch movies i love....ill hole up for a while....listen to good music and uplifting media...i dont watch the news.........i become housebound so the love of good friends and family support me inspire me to keep trying.....i dotn listen to advice like just suck it up.....so i dont go out much....im not medicated...and i am really sensitive to criticism at these points....so i cant take it and i know it..

 

 

doesnt make me a cry baby.....or an attention seeker...in fact the opposite i dont really ask for help i just do my thing.....so i use holistic methods.....try to eat lots of fruit.....my appetite goes im on protein shakes at the moment.....im tryign to diet probably nto a good idea while depressed but it is nutrition i guess...my ex says its not ...and that i should just follow his diet.....

 

i actually use loveshack as medicine.....i try to get out of my own headspace for a while...and help another....soemtimes the depression isnt something i can handle.....it becomes too invasive

 

 

and i have to go to hospital...i promise everytime i wont go back in...never again..but..if it gets to the point where im at life risk..ill go.......because my family need me ..my friends would miss me......and i actually know ..normally..i love life......just doesnt feel like i do .....when i am depressed and hospital is the only place to keep me safe....its more about sueprvision 24 7 so i dont do something impulsive..which is really likely......they however continue to try to medicate me....

 

my biggest suggestion is dont make any major decisions while you are depressed to go easy on yourself and allow others to know you are ok not doing so well but ok....and try to do soemthign everyday you love to do......reach out when it becomes too much.....visit loveshack if you havent anyoen n real life who coudl udnerstand or support you.....and if you need someone.....im here.....most days....:0)....and i wont judge you...ill just be here if you need an ear or a keyboard to type to..as will others...there are also help lines if you want to hear a friendly voice.....check them out......i wish you peace........deb

Edited May 2, 2017 by todreaminblue

[anynomous34]

when i go on meds i have to go to a psyche hospital until they kick in its normally twenty eight day minimum for me......i live with clinical depression unmedicated.....

 

what i try to do when i feel myself slipping.....is go easy ...do art, write some poetry,jounral and watch movies i love....ill hole up for a while....listen to good music and uplifting media...i dont watch the news.........i become housebound so the love of good friends and family support me inspire me to keep trying.....i dotn listen to advice like just suck it up.....so i dont go out much....im not medicated...and i am really sensitive to criticism at these points....so i cant take it and i know it..

 

 

doesnt make me a cry baby.....or an attention seeker...in fact the opposite i dont really ask for help i just do my thing.....so i use holistic methods.....try to eat lots of fruit.....my appetite goes im on protein shakes at the moment.....im tryign to diet probably nto a good idea while depressed but it is nutrition i guess...my ex says its not ...and that i should just follow his diet.....

 

i actually use loveshack as medicine.....i try to get out of my own headspace for a while...and help another....soemtimes the depression isnt something i can handle.....it becomes too invasive

 

 

and i have to go to hospital...i promise everytime i wont go back in...never again..but..if it gets to the point where im at life risk..ill go.......because my family need me ..my friends would miss me......and i actually know ..normally..i love life......just doesnt feel like i do .....when i am depressed and hospital is the only place to keep me safe....its more about sueprvision 24 7 so i dont do something impulsive..which is really likely......they however continue to try to medicate me....

 

my biggest suggestion is dont make any major decisions while you are depressed to go easy on yourself and allow others to know you are ok not doing so well but ok....and try to do soemthign everyday you love to do......reach out when it becomes too much.....visit loveshack if you havent anyoen n real life who coudl udnerstand or support you.....and if you need someone.....im here.....most days....:0)....and i wont judge you...ill just be here if you need an ear or a keyboard to type to..as will others...there are also help lines if you want to hear a friendly voice.....check them out......i wish you peace........deb

 

 

i know what you mean i was also in a psych ward... oh it was terrible.. i was just so depressed it was unbearable.. i was such a mess... although my depression isnt as bad as it once was.. it's a struggle.. i can finally talk myself into calming down.. which is a huge plus.. but i get it.. i feel like others who have never encountered depression understand the feeling.. this is why i also joined loveshack.. bevcause i feel so alone... and i dont want to rely on people who just want to take advantage of my vulnerable state.. its no bueno.. i feel a little bit better i began to organize myself.. and dragged myself outta bed... i have to keep it together.. <3 thank you.. I will ... you too if you ever need to talk let me know too

[anynomous34]

ADs? Give them about two weeks to kick in. After that, go back to your doctor to change meds if you aren't feeling a little better.

 

 

Are you doing any talk therapy/counseling? How about exercise?

 

 

Hang in there. This is a battle you can win.

 

 

yeah, i've been on these meds for 3 months now.. like i said .. the feeling is static.. for the most part my meds work.. but i noticed im still sensitive.. and when im triggered i begin to have these very negative feelings.. and feel tired.. and dumpy.. and sleep for hours.. i havent been called my VA rep yet.. I recently saw a VA psychiatrist regarding my visit.. they've yet to contact me for talk therapy... i really am looking forward to that... along with talking to a psychiatrist again to keep em updated...I've changed so much though.. but i also think it was the company i kept.. Im so grateful that i've let go of a lot of toxic people.. which has overrall helped... but i still AGAIN become a negatron on some days...seeing everything and everyone in a sad light.. which i now look at objectively.. and see it from a more intellectual approach understanding that its my depression... before i couldnt do that... which is helpful... to know that in some respects.. i have been able to manage it all..

[anynomous34]

Love shack has been a great way for me to let it out... especially when im feeling so down.. i dont think a lot of people understand... or they just feel sorry for me... and i hate that... im grateful for this place... <3

[anynomous34]

Agree with the above ^. Meds take time and then you report any side effects to the doctor and let him decide it's time or not to adjust the meds.

 

Bringing a child in would likely put you right over the edge. You obviously have no idea how hard and stressful that is. You need to get better first. Just don't make the mistake of adjusting or stopping your meds yourself. There are hundreds of combinations of drugs you can try. Just communicate well with your doctor. If you have trouble reaching him, drop a note to give to him at his office. I hope you're seeing an actual psychiatrist who is best qualified to deal with this. Other doctors will prescribe the meds, but it's not their speciality, so they tend to "try this" and just see if it works. But keep the doc posted on side effects and how you're feeling emotionally and if he/she is a good doctor, they will refer you if they find it's over their head.

 

 

Bringing in a child is a big NO.. I realize that.. I guess when Im thinking negatively.. my brain begins to wonder why I even put so much effort into living .... it's sooo wrong... and counteractive... i just need to push myself... i know this is it... let go of all the BU**sh*t and toxicity...

 

 

Thank you...

[todreaminblue]

i know what you mean i was also in a psych ward... oh it was terrible.. i was just so depressed it was unbearable.. i was such a mess... although my depression isnt as bad as it once was.. it's a struggle.. i can finally talk myself into calming down.. which is a huge plus.. but i get it.. i feel like others who have never encountered depression understand the feeling.. this is why i also joined loveshack.. bevcause i feel so alone... and i dont want to rely on people who just want to take advantage of my vulnerable state.. its no bueno.. i feel a little bit better i began to organize myself.. and dragged myself outta bed... i have to keep it together.. <3 thank you.. I will ... you too if you ever need to talk let me know too

 

 

you sure have hti the nail on the head ...people on here cant take advantage of your state so its easy to open up...have always found that...i can open up to my bishop at church...but he is a really busy man.....i can be vulnerable with him......i also can be vulnerable on here and safe...sometimes however i do get a little paranoid on here because i am exactyl what i write...its me...even down to the name.....but its better than me being vulnerable in my life and the floodgates of my pandoras box were to open...i would probably be even more at risk..soem stories life expereinces are too much fro most peopel to handle soem of them ill never say..........i dotn want to go around telling everyone how i feel.....makes me feeel...worse having to face them

 

a couple of years ago i reached out to someone....a guy i liked.....i was severely depressed......i felt a connection to him and just wanted to talk to him .....wish him happy birthday......and he didnt reply.....i immediaely thought hey i might have made him uncomfortable ill text and see if he is ok..so i did ..and he texted back said to me this friendship thing isnt going to work out......youre a creep and other hurtful things about my age ....saying i was double the age i actually am things like that.....i was dealing with so many things.....my families drug addictions my derpession my mum not speakign to me my ssiters addictions....financial problems and all while depressed evne though i didnt come across that way to many....obviously not to him....not his fault.....my family actually got hold of my phone and deleted oen of his messages because it was cruel.....i frogave him adn so have they he has his own issues ...he struggles too i just let him go recentyl as a friend and i do wish the best for him.....

 

but those texts he sent me.... was enough to push me over.....into impulsive actions......and over stupid phone texts/call and an ignorant man ...i almost did......by walking into the bay i was goign to swim out till exhaustion and try to swim back....because i have this life force that just wotn quit.......and becaue of exhaustion i would not make it.........but i stood or sat there for a while(cant remember) crying and i felt a sense of peace come over me looking at the moonlight on the water literally teh clouds parted and the moon shone..and i sat there for a long time...then i walked him and went to bed.........the next week i was in hospital......

 

 

i hate hospital with a passion.and they have tried so many combinations of meds with me that has ballooned my weight etc...i cant do it...but the supervision is a god send........and i also find loveshack has gotten me through times i need to reach out to people in a safe way...i can eb vulnerable and safe.....and sometimes i need to eb vulnerable....and talk .when my voice is silent....i am not so connected to the people who post to me ..they are more neutral and helping others is a passion fo mine so if i can help others and help lift them a little on here...i feel myself lifted a bit too...smilin...anytime anonymous ...my name is deb...and im here......deb

Edited May 3, 2017 by todreaminblue

[anynomous34]

you sure have hti the nail on the head ...people on here cant take advantage of your state so its easy to open up...have always found that...i can open up to my bishop at church...but he is a really busy man.....i can be vulnerable with him......i also can be vulnerable on here and safe...sometimes however i do get a little paranoid on here because i am exactyl what i write...its me...even down to the name.....but its better than me being vulnerable in my life and the floodgates of my pandoras box were to open...i would probably be even more at risk..soem stories life expereinces are too much fro most peopel to handle soem of them ill never say..........i dotn want to go around telling everyone how i feel.....makes me feeel...worse having to face them

 

a couple of years ago i reached out to someone....a guy i liked.....i was severely depressed......i felt a connection to him and just wanted to talk to him .....wish him happy birthday......and he didnt reply.....i immediaely thought hey i might have made him uncomfortable ill text and see if he is ok..so i did ..and he texted back said to me this friendship thing isnt going to work out......youre a creep and other hurtful things about my age ....saying i was double the age i actually am things like that.....i was dealing with so many things.....my families drug addictions my derpession my mum not speakign to me my ssiters addictions....financial problems and all while depressed evne though i didnt come across that way to many....obviously not to him....not his fault.....my family actually got hold of my phone and deleted oen of his messages because it was cruel.....i frogave him adn so have they he has his own issues ...he struggles too i just let him go recentyl as a friend and i do wish the best for him.....

 

but those texts he sent me.... was enough to push me over.....into impulsive actions......and over stupid phone texts/call and an ignorant man ...i almost did......by walking into the bay i was goign to swim out till exhaustion and try to swim back....because i have this life force that just wotn quit.......and becaue of exhaustion i would not make it.........but i stood or sat there for a while(cant remember) crying and i felt a sense of peace come over me looking at the moonlight on the water literally teh clouds parted and the moon shone..and i sat there for a long time...then i walked him and went to bed.........the next week i was in hospital......

 

 

i hate hospital with a passion.and they have tried so many combinations of meds with me that has ballooned my weight etc...i cant do it...but the supervision is a god send........and i also find loveshack has gotten me through times i need to reach out to people in a safe way...i can eb vulnerable and safe.....and sometimes i need to eb vulnerable....and talk .when my voice is silent....i am not so connected to the people who post to me ..they are more neutral and helping others is a passion fo mine so if i can help others and help lift them a little on here...i feel myself lifted a bit too...smilin...anytime anonymous ...my name is deb...and im here......deb

 

He doesn't sound very nice.. but then again who am i to judge?

 

I haven't been the nicest to people either sometimes.. I'm constantly on guard..

 

Anyway, again if you ever need anything I'm here..

 

yes i also found that helping others really does help me too! It's so therapeutic.

 

All the best,

[LoveBug143]

Hang in there dear, i know exactly what you're going through! Sometimes we start to go into that dark place and we let ourselves go deeper and deeper into that dark hole but what makes me feel better is the constant reminder that i can choose to get out of this. I know you feel tired, i know you just want to lay in bed or on the couch and watch TV or just wallow in your sadness but try to pull some energy from somewhere within and go for a walk, get some air.. you'd be surprised how helpful fresh air is. Also take super deep breaths. Acknowledge where you are but know that you can get out of this. You have before and you can do it again. Find encouragement in the fact that you have a community here to support you. You can do this!

[OatsAndHall]

For me, the hardest part about dealing with my depression is forcing myself to get out and stop isolating. But, getting out and socializing, even just a little bit keeps me from dwelling on how I'm feeling. This gives me some level of reprieve from the depression. It is far too easy for me to lay around the house in a zombified state, watching TV or sleeping. If I don't have the opportunity to be social, I will call friends or text them, just to chat. If I my mood is really in the toilet, I will reach out to my family and close friends to vent a little bit.

 

As has been pointed out, the meds take awhile to kick in. Give them a month and then try something else if they're not working. Remember, clinical depression is a physiological issue and many people need medication in order to reverse the chemical imbalance in the brain.

[d0nnivain]

Talk therapy is helpful. It's good to get it out. I'm glad you are back on your meds but you mentioned something about the VA. It pains me to say this because my husband is a Vet & he works for the VA but you can't just rely on them. They are overwhelmed & understaffed. Can you get private therapy until the VA gets to you? This is too important to wait.

 

 

As much as the talking helped . . . & kept me blinking & breathing . . . it wasn't enough. I recently changed therapists because I wanted something to do. I wanted to help myself.

 

 

This therapist gave me a notebook. Every day on a scale of 1-10 I'm supposed to write a #, just the # to express how I felt with 1 being suicidal . . . as in if you gave the means I'd end it all now to 10 being I feel fabulous! Most days tend to be between 4-6 but we went on a vacation recently & I had 7-9s. Coming home I haven't been below a 5. Sun & sand are natural mood enhancers for me. Do you know something or a place that makes you happy?

 

 

The other thing the therapist has me doing is making a list of 3 things I'm grateful for every morning & every night. They are supposed to be different each time but some repeats are OK. The idea is if you start & end the day on a positive note, you feel a little happier. Also she really pushes exercise. You have to sweat to produce endorphins.

 

 

Some days it's tough to come up with the list. But it doesn't have to be profound. The other day I bought myself a bag of chocolate that I love so that night chocolate was something I was grateful for. Since you mentioned being glad you found LS, that could be one of yours. It's allergy season so many days I'm grateful for antihistamines. lol On the bad days I re-read the lists. It helps. Perhaps you can try it.

[anynomous34]

For me, the hardest part about dealing with my depression is forcing myself to get out and stop isolating. But, getting out and socializing, even just a little bit keeps me from dwelling on how I'm feeling. This gives me some level of reprieve from the depression. It is far too easy for me to lay around the house in a zombified state, watching TV or sleeping. If I don't have the opportunity to be social, I will call friends or text them, just to chat. If I my mood is really in the toilet, I will reach out to my family and close friends to vent a little bit.

 

As has been pointed out, the meds take awhile to kick in. Give them a month and then try something else if they're not working. Remember, clinical depression is a physiological issue and many people need medication in order to reverse the chemical imbalance in the brain.

 

 

Meds... i think i need to maybe up my dose... but ofcourse ill talk to my doc... yeah.. i know how you feel the feeling is mutual... yeah, youre right...my mother also suffers from depression.. but its a seasonal thing for her... i feel like with me was triggered by recent trauma... that really messed me up.. Im hanging in there..

[anynomous34]

Talk therapy is helpful. It's good to get it out. I'm glad you are back on your meds but you mentioned something about the VA. It pains me to say this because my husband is a Vet & he works for the VA but you can't just rely on them. They are overwhelmed & understaffed. Can you get private therapy until the VA gets to you? This is too important to wait.

 

 

As much as the talking helped . . . & kept me blinking & breathing . . . it wasn't enough. I recently changed therapists because I wanted something to do. I wanted to help myself.

 

 

This therapist gave me a notebook. Every day on a scale of 1-10 I'm supposed to write a #, just the # to express how I felt with 1 being suicidal . . . as in if you gave the means I'd end it all now to 10 being I feel fabulous! Most days tend to be between 4-6 but we went on a vacation recently & I had 7-9s. Coming home I haven't been below a 5. Sun & sand are natural mood enhancers for me. Do you know something or a place that makes you happy?

 

 

The other thing the therapist has me doing is making a list of 3 things I'm grateful for every morning & every night. They are supposed to be different each time but some repeats are OK. The idea is if you start & end the day on a positive note, you feel a little happier. Also she really pushes exercise. You have to sweat to produce endorphins.

 

 

Some days it's tough to come up with the list. But it doesn't have to be profound. The other day I bought myself a bag of chocolate that I love so that night chocolate was something I was grateful for. Since you mentioned being glad you found LS, that could be one of yours. It's allergy season so many days I'm grateful for antihistamines. lol On the bad days I re-read the lists. It helps. Perhaps you can try it.

 

 

Yeah I've been practicing the whole gratitude thing.. I'll consider doing it twice a day.. it makes total sense. Exercise youre right!... <3 thank you

[preraph]

In addition to talking it out, be sure you also destress your body by doing some exercises, even if it's just bike riding or swimming. It really will decrease your overall stress if you don't forget your body needs tending to also.

[todreaminblue]

He doesn't sound very nice.. but then again who am i to judge?

 

I haven't been the nicest to people either sometimes.. I'm constantly on guard..

 

Anyway, again if you ever need anything I'm here..

 

yes i also found that helping others really does help me too! It's so therapeutic.

 

All the best,

The thing is he is actually nice he helps a lot of people.....he sticks up for the underdogs ......he is against bullying he ls a really spiritual person.....he loves kids he ahs a lot of time for them and he has always been respectful in person.....he is often shy...i do know he goes through hard times....he has been in psyche hospitals too......i dont know ....maybe im the problem...

 

 

theres a correlation between depression and genetics ...my maternal side has depression running through it...my mum my sister my daughters my grandmother, my grandmother never took meds ..my uncle on my mums side committed suicide.......my mum is on them for life my sister too.....i prefer to try to deal with it.....same with my daughters.....theres a common denominator with my family...we are all really .....soft......and all throught the maternal side theres charity work.....helping others......smilin...volunteers .....my daughter has followed suit she is on a youth comittee for a community organisation and funnily enough she si the oen who does live with depression......

 

volunteer work has helped me when i have been down like i feel useful not so hopeless...helps me get out of the house....i have never been able to drive.....and im goign fro my license soon...i bought a car.....goldie.....and im goign to eb abel to go places i couldnt ......visit people i cant because its just too tiring me walking everywhere now.....i invited some friends too dinner tonight....set out my italian menu .....i love to cook...normally...dont really feel like it so pushing myself.....i havent been in the sun for a week....last time i got ny hair done last week trying to pick myself up......

 

 

exercising at the moment even the thought of it turns my stomach.....as does going out...but i have to get ingredients for tonight so i guess i am going out...i just feel so heavy .....a bit dizzy actually........like other posters have said i know exercise and sunlight helps.....i know what works.....but the depression .......stops me......i dont know if i would call it wallowing.....more like ....drowning....you know you have to swim to teh lights...but you havent the energy or th einclination to swim.......thats not wallowing.....thats just treading water til you feel strong enough...one thing they never do in psyche hospitals have you noticed is tell you to get some fresh air and exercise.......they will try to make sure you get otu of bed and engage in the day.....even if it is too read a book in a corner somewhere.....

 

 

they do however..make sure you eat nutritious meals....they organise art classes they promote music appreciation...they do activities actually all indoors.........they promote laughter and they dont say go outside now stop wallowing.....they let you know hey this is on today you should try it ....and group therapy activities were alwasy really fun...hours would go by......i do all that at home now....art music and group.....i have a alrge family who pile on my bed and we laugh...ill get out eventually as will you......do you have friends near by or family...deb

Edited May 3, 2017 by todreaminblue

[anynomous34]

The thing is he is actually nice he helps a lot of people.....he sticks up for the underdogs ......he is against bullying he ls a really spiritual person.....he loves kids he ahs a lot of time for them and he has always been respectful in person.....he is often shy...i do know he goes through hard times....he has been in psyche hospitals too......i dont know ....maybe im the problem...

 

 

theres a correlation between depression and genetics ...my maternal side has depression running through it...my mum my sister my daughters my grandmother, my grandmother never took meds ..my uncle on my mums side committed suicide.......my mum is on them for life my sister too.....i prefer to try to deal with it.....same with my daughters.....theres a common denominator with my family...we are all really .....soft......and all throught the maternal side theres charity work.....helping others......smilin...volunteers .....my daughter has followed suit she is on a youth comittee for a community organisation and funnily enough she si the oen who does live with depression......

 

volunteer work has helped me when i have been down like i feel useful not so hopeless...helps me get out of the house....i have never been able to drive.....and im goign fro my license soon...i bought a car.....goldie.....and im goign to eb abel to go places i couldnt ......visit people i cant because its just too tiring me walking everywhere now.....i invited some friends too dinner tonight....set out my italian menu .....i love to cook...normally...dont really feel like it so pushing myself.....i havent been in the sun for a week....last time i got ny hair done last week trying to pick myself up......

 

 

exercising at the moment even the thought of it turns my stomach.....as does going out...but i have to get ingredients for tonight so i guess i am going out...i just feel so heavy .....a bit dizzy actually........like other posters have said i know exercise and sunlight helps.....i know what works.....but the depression .......stops me......i dont know if i would call it wallowing.....more like ....drowning....you know you have to swim to teh lights...but you havent the energy or th einclination to swim.......thats not wallowing.....thats just treading water til you feel strong enough...one thing they never do in psyche hospitals have you noticed is tell you to get some fresh air and exercise.......they will try to make sure you get otu of bed and engage in the day.....even if it is too read a book in a corner somewhere.....

 

 

they do however..make sure you eat nutritious meals....they organise art classes they promote music appreciation...they do activities actually all indoors.........they promote laughter and they dont say go outside now stop wallowing.....they let you know hey this is on today you should try it ....and group therapy activities were alwasy really fun...hours would go by......i do all that at home now....art music and group.....i have a alrge family who pile on my bed and we laugh...ill get out eventually as will you......do you have friends near by or family...deb

 

 

Yeah we're a large group.. theyre quite away from home... but ill be seeing them soon.. <3 Thanks for all the tips<3 hang in there girl... sounds like youre getting out more.