Message from BS

[wmacbride]

OP,

if you are sad and struggling, why do you stay? What is the A giving you that makes it worth it?

[Fran85]

That's a great question. I guess because he has been a quick source of happiness or excitement in my life for the last year and unfortunately I just plain love him. I don't doubt that he loves me but I do fully recognize that he doesn't respect me. I have tried to end it several times and I'm not sure why I haven't yet had the strength to just cut it off and cauterize the wound for good (but that appears to be a trend in most of these stories). I have noticed that it gets easier to see this situation in a somewhat objective way. I am frustrated with what this has done to me - my other relationships, my work, and my pastimes are suffering as a result of this ridiculous mess. But I love him and I've never had such a hate/love relationship with "love" itself.

[lostgirl87]

I received several angry message requests on social media from AP's wife. She told me how much she hates me and that she and AP are working on healing their relationship (despite the fact that AP continues to send me messages daily). While I feel bad for being involved in this mess, I don't see any purpose in responding to her message or acknowledging that I've "seen" the message. Do I owe her a response?

 

No you definitely don't owe her a response! She is frustrated with her relationship and her husband and clearly the anger she is letting off on him isn't working. So you are her next target. No, you shouldn't have gotten involved with her husband (I'm an OW too so that's not meant to be judgmental) but you don't really owe her anything. I know that sounds harsh but that's the reality. Her husband is the one that needs to stay away and reassure his wife that he is there for her, with her and loves her. If she isn't getting that from him, despite yall's affair being over, then that's not your fault.

 

Focus on yourself and your healing. Let them worry about their relationship.

[harrybrown]

Hope you are careful.

 

If she knows about the A, and gets upset further, she may tell your H.

 

Maybe you want your H to know. Send your H her email and ask what he thinks?

[Kejiiraa]

You helped destroy her life. No you're not a "bad" person. But you can set some things right.

[sandylee1]

Hope you are careful.

 

If she knows about the A, and gets upset further, she may tell your H.

 

Maybe you want your H to know. Send your H her email and ask what he thinks?

 

That's a good point.. She could inform your husband. As she's found you on FB she could do the sameand track him down.

 

It may be that isn't something that worries you though.

 

If you don't really have much to loose or any consequences if you are exposed, then that's understandable.

 

I tend to default to what's the worse thatcould happen if I am going to do something I know I shouldn't.

 

If the worse thing isn't that bad, then I take it from there.