Giving myself permisison

[wmacbride]

If you are a bs, how do you feel about the ow/om in your situation?

 

I'm asking because I have finally reached a decision. I am going to stop feeling guilty about the depth of my dislike for her.

 

I have tried to have an open mind and heart when it comes to her, but I just can't do it anymore. I am sick of being hard on myself for how I feel towards her.

 

If the A had ended all those years ago and she, after an expected period of upheaval, had found a way to move on, I would feel differently about her, but I'm sorry, if you can't move on from a few week long affair after ten years, you need to get help.

 

It's not so much the A that makes me angry with her, it's the continued attempts from her to remain in contact with me for reasons I just don't understand that I am sick of. We've tried seeking legal help( which worked for a time), she's blocked on social media and other potential sources of contact ( except for my business contact details, which I can't really change). This works for a while, then she just makes new accounts and she's back. Nothing major, just little, weird notes. I'll get an unexpected message, and foolishly enough, I always read it, and every so often, it will be form her, continuing to blame me for how she feels.

 

Normally, I would try and let that slide, but it's a bad week right now, and I am tired of it. I am tired of trying to make myself forgive her, so I will accept that and forgive myself for not living up to the standard of what I hold for myself.

 

I'd like to be able to walk away and feel like I have been the bigger person, but I can't. I'd like to be able to give myself the proverbial pat on the back for being such a strong, forgiving person, but I can't.

 

I'm not saying any of this because of how she feels about me. Her feelings don't matter. She doesn't like me, which is understandable. Her actions are not.

 

To sum it up. H ( the ow), you can take all your unresolved feelings and issues and stick them where the sun doesn't shine. It's been ten years now, and taking your feelings out on me hasn't helped you. I would suggest you get some professional counseling instead of telling me you are going to hurt yourself and blaming that on me.

[understand50]

It seems she just will not take the hint and go away, so you can only forgive what is in the past, Things that continue to happen, yes, feel unforgiving. This is normal. I would do the same, and I am sure your husband kicks himself for getting involved with her every time this happens. She is keeping the wounds open for each of you. Why would you have "good" feeling for her?

 

I wish you luck...

[Overtaxed]

If you are a bs, how do you feel about the ow/om in your situation?

 

I'm asking because I have finally reached a decision. I am going to stop feeling guilty about the depth of my dislike for her.

 

I have tried to have an open mind and heart when it comes to her, but I just can't do it anymore. I am sick of being hard on myself for how I feel towards her.

 

If the A had ended all those years ago and she, after an expected period of upheaval, had found a way to move on, I would feel differently about her, but I'm sorry, if you can't move on from a few week long affair after ten years, you need to get help.

 

It's not so much the A that makes me angry with her, it's the continued attempts from her to remain in contact with me for reasons I just don't understand that I am sick of. We've tried seeking legal help( which worked for a time), she's blocked on social media and other potential sources of contact ( except for my business contact details, which I can't really change). This works for a while, then she just makes new accounts and she's back. Nothing major, just little, weird notes. I'll get an unexpected message, and foolishly enough, I always read it, and every so often, it will be form her, continuing to blame me for how she feels.

 

Normally, I would try and let that slide, but it's a bad week right now, and I am tired of it. I am tired of trying to make myself forgive her, so I will accept that and forgive myself for not living up to the standard of what I hold for myself.

 

I'd like to be able to walk away and feel like I have been the bigger person, but I can't. I'd like to be able to give myself the proverbial pat on the back for being such a strong, forgiving person, but I can't.

 

I'm not saying any of this because of how she feels about me. Her feelings don't matter. She doesn't like me, which is understandable. Her actions are not.

 

To sum it up. H ( the ow), you can take all your unresolved feelings and issues and stick them where the sun doesn't shine. It's been ten years now, and taking your feelings out on me hasn't helped you. I would suggest you get some professional counseling instead of telling me you are going to hurt yourself and blaming that on me.

 

I hate him. If I saw him in person, I would take everything in me not to attack him. He's a man without character who took advantage of my wife (and she let him, let's be clear, the blame is not one sided) at a terrible time in our lives. He knew me, I knew his wife and family, and he still felt it appropriate to tell his wife he was going to work and come over to my house to sleep with my wife. He quoted scripture to my wife, telling her God wanted this for her, and totally twisted her up. He ruined our Christmas vacation TXTing her the entire time, probably while his kids opened toys.

 

In short, my hate for him is nearly boundless. If he died tomorrow, my only question would be about his life insurance payout, because his poor wife has been through enough and doesn't deserve to live in poverty. I'm twice the man he is and, I suspect he knows it; his first question to my W when he knew that I knew "Should I be scared", the next question "Is he going to tell my W".

 

Most of the men who do this (cheat) are weak or broken in some way. Men who do it when there's a relationship between the families are truly beyond any ability of mine to comprehend the level of depravity. I've said many times, I could see myself having a ONS with someone and breaking my vows. But "working" my wife's friend for months, then going to her house while her husband was away working? Nope, don't have it in me. And that's saying a lot, because I really did think, at one time, that there's nothing that I couldn't do. But I couldn't do that.

 

In short, hate away. If the AP knew about you, it's certainly justified. The only case where I can see some sympathy for the AP is when your SO lied to them about being married/involved. Then they are as much a victim as you are. But if they knew? Nope, hate is all yours, enjoy it. I'm sure my wife's AP hates my W, and, frankly, she deserves it. She didn't instigate it, but she didn't stop it either and certainly did make it easy for her husband to have some sex on the side. She deserves her hate.

Edited May 3, 2017 by Overtaxed

[NTV]

I'm not saying I want seek them out anymore to inflict my judgements upon them anymore but... If the we're walking across the street and I was driving. ... I don't know how well I could hit the breaks.

 

And I don't see anything wrong with that. I'm not actively pursuing revenge. I don't think or obsess about it anymore. But if the opportunity fell in my lap? I'd assume that it was karma asking me for help. (Queue evil organ music and maniacal laughter). Mwa a hahaha haha haha

 

 

Ha

 

 

Ha.

[wmacbride]

It seems she just will not take the hint and go away, so you can only forgive what is in the past, Things that continue to happen, yes, feel unforgiving. This is normal. I would do the same, and I am sure your husband kicks himself for getting involved with her every time this happens. She is keeping the wounds open for each of you. Why would you have "good" feeling for her?

 

I wish you luck...

 

I end up vacillating between being incredibly angry with her for her continued irritating behavior, and feeling bad for her as someone who would let a three week long fling continue to affect her in this way might well have some mental health issues.

 

That makes me pity her, as I wouldn't wish that on anyone. She's her own worst enemy. I mean, she's attractive, from what I can tell has a pleasant personality around men, and she's even married now with a new baby herself ( or so she told me not long ago- not sure why she thought I would care) and yet she still won't let it go.

 

I can't understand why she fixated on me. I'm hardly the only bs she has had dealings with, their relationship wasn't long at all ( she was posted in to where he worked at the time, they met, started chatting online and had the PA, broke up and he was deployed, all in less than three months time). Why is she still fixating on me? I didn't think I was all that interesting:p

[Telemachus]

I'd like to respond, but the way you've composed this, I can't tell your role (which of your letter abbreviations apply to you), and it's also not clear when you're addressing someone directly in the second person, or simply talking about him or her in the third person.

 

The best I can tell is that you're the betrayed wife, and your posting is about the other woman's (your husband's adulterous affair partner's) continuing unwanted attempts to contact you.

 

She will give up eventually, but if she's mentally ill, it may take decades, and there will be flare-ups from time to time (when she goes off her meds or is on a drinking binge). Your husband brought this nutcase to your life. If he's still in your life, let him know about continuing contact and that you hold him responsible. If it was an extramarital affair without your consent, then he is responsible.

 

There's not much else you can do, but if you ever answer the phone and hear her voice, tell her to click her heels together three times and go f*** herself.

[aileD]

How do I feel about the OW?

 

I can say, he hatred isn't there so much anymore. I can say I have selfish motives for hoping that she's reconciled with her parents and church and is happy with her new boyfriend. I think that karma works itself into everyone's lives so I don't really think about revenge anymore. I'm angry with her for ambushing my husband recently but that said it seemed like it was her last ditch effort before moving on with her life. She passed her EMT test which she wasn't able to do with my H around as all her energy was on the affair so I truly hope she's moving along with her life .

 

She has the same name as my niece and I'm starting to be able to say my nieces name around my H again....and H has been kind and is still using the nickname we have for her. Every time I think of OW, I envision hitting her in the face with a baseball bat. Which I guess is opposite of what I said in the other paragraph but I truly feel both. She's young, I hope she moves on, but I'd like to get a good whack in first I guess. Even if just in my imagination .

 

I know she'll be in the BS shoes someday. And I hope she thinks about me when it happens.

[wmacbride]

I hate him. If I saw him in person, I would take everything in me not to attack him. He's a man without character who took advantage of my wife (and she let him, let's be clear, the blame is not one sided) at a terrible time in our lives. He knew me, I knew his wife and family, and he still felt it appropriate to tell his wife he was going to work and come over to my house to sleep with my wife. He quoted scripture to my wife, telling her God wanted this for her, and totally twisted her up. He ruined our Christmas vacation TXTing her the entire time, probably while his kids opened toys.

 

In short, my hate for him is nearly boundless. If he died tomorrow, my only question would be about his life insurance payout, because his poor wife has been through enough and doesn't deserve to live in poverty. I'm twice the man he is and, I suspect he knows it; his first question to my W when he knew that I knew "Should I be scared", the next question "Is he going to tell my W".

 

Most of the men who do this (cheat) are weak or broken in some way. Men who do it when there's a relationship between the families are truly beyond any ability of mine to comprehend the level of depravity. I've said many times, I could see myself having a ONS with someone and breaking my vows. But "working" my wife's friend for months, then going to her house while her husband was away working? Nope, don't have it in me. And that's saying a lot, because I really did think, at one time, that there's nothing that I couldn't do. But I couldn't do that.

 

In short, hate away. If the AP knew about you, it's certainly justified. The only case where I can see some sympathy for the AP is when your SO lied to them about being married/involved. Then they are as much a victim as you are. But if they knew? Nope, hate is all yours, enjoy it. I'm sure my wife's AP hates my W, and, frankly, she deserves it. She didn't instigate it, but she didn't stop it either and certainly did make it easy for her husband to have some sex on the side. She deserves her hate.

 

Oh no, she's knows I'm real.

I don't know if you've ever lived on a military base before ( especially a small one stuck in the middle of the back of nowhere), but everyone knows everyone.

 

I even chatted with her online myself a while after she moved here. They had become "facebook friends", and one night, when I was up late because I was worried and couldn't sleep, she saw I was online and started chatting with me. She seemed to be asking a lot of questions, but it never entered my mind why. I was really stupid at the time, and really believed that a good looking single woman who could have her pick form all sorts of men would have any interest in someone who is married. I was projecting my values on to her. Big mistake on my part.

 

It turns out she used what I had told her against me. For example, on night when I was at the hospital with our "middle kid" who was sick with what her doctors thought was a brain tumor ( turned out to be something far more complex..less serious, but more complex), my husband was at home with our other two kids. He went online, and started chatting with her. I saw the messages myself ( this was before they started "seeing" one another). When he told her what was going on and how worried he was, she started making comments asking him what I was doing for him, was I there for him, why wasn't I seeing to his needs too?

 

What kind of a person does that? Mind you, my spouse was enough of a dope at the time to let what she wrote get to him. Foolish move on his part.

 

It will never cease to amaze me how much trouble foolish actions can create.

[wmacbride]

I'd like to respond, but the way you've composed this, I can't tell your role (which of your letter abbreviations apply to you), and it's also not clear when you're addressing someone directly in the second person, or simply talking about him or her in the third person.

 

The best I can tell is that you're the betrayed wife, and your posting is about the other woman's (your husband's adulterous affair partner's) continuing unwanted attempts to contact you.

 

She will give up eventually, but if she's mentally ill, it may take decades, and there will be flare-ups from time to time (when she goes off her meds or is on a drinking binge). Your husband brought this nutcase to your life. If he's still in your life, let him know about continuing contact and that you hold him responsible. If it was an extramarital affair without your consent, then he is responsible.

 

There's not much else you can do, but if you ever answer the phone and hear her voice, tell her to click her heels together three times and go f*** herself.

 

She's my husband's ex-ow, and the affair was ten years ago.

 

I've tried to be understanding. I've tried to help her. I've even sent the mp's to her door once when she sen me a message telling me she was going to kill herself. We have involved legal help, changed addresses and phone numbers, changed email contacts , locked down social media, etc.but she somehow finds a way in. Just when I think she's moved on, bang...she's back.

 

I just don't understand her wasting her mental energy like this.

[Telemachus]

She's my husband's ex-ow, and the affair was ten years ago.

 

I've tried to be understanding. I've tried to help her. I've even sent the mp's to her door once when she sen me a message telling me she was going to kill herself. We have involved legal help, changed addresses and phone numbers, changed email contacts , locked down social media, etc.but she somehow finds a way in. Just when I think she's moved on, bang...she's back.

 

I just don't understand her wasting her mental energy like this.

 

Never try to reason with or understand the mentally ill. You aren't her therapist. Simply remember that your husband brought this into your life. She isn't a former co-worker or old girlfriend from before you were married. He brought her into your life.

 

Why is she devoting mental energy? One reason is that when you call the police or change your vital and online details, she knows that you're thinking about her. You're continuing to give her your attention. Stop acknowledging her existence, unless she's on your physical doorstep, and hope it doesn't come to that.

[Mrs. John Adams]

She's my husband's ex-ow, and the affair was ten years ago.

 

I've tried to be understanding. I've tried to help her. I've even sent the mp's to her door once when she sen me a message telling me she was going to kill herself. We have involved legal help, changed addresses and phone numbers, changed email contacts , locked down social media, etc.but she somehow finds a way in. Just when I think she's moved on, bang...she's back.

 

I just don't understand her wasting her mental energy like this.

 

Fatal Attraction? I guess obsession happens in real life as well. She wants your life and you have proven to her that what she does affects you..(and i totally get that it would)...I am not sure you will ever get rid of her and I have no advice how you can.

 

I never ever think about the ow....she tried to contact my husband once. His secretary took the call and when i called she said oh i told him you called ...hasn't he called you back?...yes ow and i have the same name....so I knew it was her. He did not call her back and she never called again. Had she continued to be present in our lives..I am not sure I could have handled it. My insecurities would get the best of me.

 

My om has never contacted us in any way....I cannot really speak for my husband....but I think he hates him and would harm him...S L O W L Y... if given the opportunity

[BluesPower]

You know... Some women just get obsessed with a man, I think for no particular reason. I am sure men do it to.

 

I have had more than one women (some AP's) do this with me. I have had to get really rude with some of them before.

 

And frankly, some have scared me. That is just one reason that I am stopping all of my shenanigans and trying to slow down.

 

Hell, I am 52 and I don't want to get shot by some crazy Ex GF. I have found a really nice girl and if she turns out not to be crazy, I am staying put...

[aliveagain]

Stop being nice to her, your give a sh*t has expired. Keeping you in her life is another way of keeping your husband in her life. My ex tried to keep me in her life by attempting suicide three times(once before I left, twice after I left), it is all just emotional blackmail. Stop caring about her, you don't have to forgive her in order to forgive yourself. Get a restraining order against her and act on it if she breaks it. Ask her husband to control his wife, does he know what's going on, does he know her history with your husband?

[Starswillshine]

This woman is crazy! I am sorry you are dealing with this.

 

The OW in my situation will reach out. She once told me she had no one to turn to and thought that I could relate to her pain. Umm no, I didn't chose it. She went into this A eyes wide open. She knew he was married. She knew he was happy. She knew he would never leave.

 

But she still hangs on. But it hasn't been 10 years. I can't imagine having to deal with the constant reminders. Ugh, I don't know if I could ever completely forgive my AS for bringing the crazy into my life. I guess we will see, it hasn't been a year yet for me.

[NTV]

Well, can you sue her?

[jenkins95]

A very interesting, heartfelt thread. Very humbling and a little uncomfortable for an ex wayward to read. I encourage all waywards and ex-waywards to read this and suck up every word. This is the level of damage we cause. No hiding away from it.

 

You are a star wmac and I truly hope you can get past this. She clearly must be mentally unstable to still be beating this dead horse after a decade. God help her - because I don't think anyone else can.

 

And yes. Any innocent BS has the right to hate. In circumstances like yours, is impossible to see how you could feel any other way.

Edited May 3, 2017 by jenkins95

[somanymistakes]

She's my husband's ex-ow, and the affair was ten years ago.

 

I've tried to be understanding. I've tried to help her. I've even sent the mp's to her door once when she sen me a message telling me she was going to kill herself. We have involved legal help, changed addresses and phone numbers, changed email contacts , locked down social media, etc.but she somehow finds a way in. Just when I think she's moved on, bang...she's back.

 

I just don't understand her wasting her mental energy like this.

 

 

You have been more than kind enough to her! She does not deserve any share of your attention and I wish she'd stop trying to take it. Her behavior is pathetic and creepy.

[Southern Sun]

Totally agree with Jenkins.

 

I can't even imagine still trying to make contact after so long. In fact, I can't imagine trying to contact the BW at all!!!

 

I have been thinking about her perspective a lot lately. I've put myself in her shoes and tried to imagine what it must feel like...infuriating for one. Like, who does this wench think she is, inserting herself into my family? Where is her compassion, her empathy, her BRAINS? And, hellooooo, I'm here, back the f*ck up!

 

THAT perspective is just one side of it. It's not even the really hurt one.

 

I almost feel like it would be easier to be super angry with the AP if your spouse had just one affair. Even though we all know your spouse is the one who made vows to you, you could be more likely to view the AP as the villain in that scenario. My xMM has had multiple affairs. I'm not even sure how many at this point. The last I heard, he and his wife were starting the divorce process and she was fighting it. I'm thinking, why?? Get this pig out of your life! There have been times I've wanted to send her helpful information or something...but I know it wouldn't exactly be welcomed.

 

In my case, I was one among many for him. I am sure she is still hurt by me. I will never be able make it up to her. But I hope for her sake that she is able to shed that dead-weight of a man and make a far better life for herself. I really hope she can figure it out.

 

As for me and how I feel...I would NEVER want to have any part in hurting her ever again.

[MainB]

I end up vacillating between being incredibly angry with her for her continued irritating behavior, and feeling bad for her as someone who would let a three week long fling continue to affect her in this way might well have some mental health issues.

 

That makes me pity her, as I wouldn't wish that on anyone. She's her own worst enemy. I mean, she's attractive, from what I can tell has a pleasant personality around men, and she's even married now with a new baby herself ( or so she told me not long ago- not sure why she thought I would care) and yet she still won't let it go.

 

I can't understand why she fixated on me. I'm hardly the only bs she has had dealings with, their relationship wasn't long at all ( she was posted in to where he worked at the time, they met, started chatting online and had the PA, broke up and he was deployed, all in less than three months time). Why is she still fixating on me? I didn't think I was all that interesting:p

 

 

I'm going thru something similar. It's been over a year and that psycho junkie still won't accept that he wants nothing to do with her. Personally, if they ended up finding her in a ditch, I'd set up a reward for the person responsible do I could personally thank them.

 

 

It's to the point that I'd rather she have him and find someone that's on her level of ghetto Backpage drama to annoy from a distance. She knows not to come near me. He wants to reconcile and is trying but I'm over it. Twenty years and three kids...been thru hell.

 

 

What I want to know is, why do they affair down ? You gotta be on some serious dope to put a backpage junkie over your family.

[wmacbride]

You know... Some women just get obsessed with a man, I think for no particular reason. I am sure men do it to.

 

I have had more than one women (some AP's) do this with me. I have had to get really rude with some of them before.

 

And frankly, some have scared me. That is just one reason that I am stopping all of my shenanigans and trying to slow down.

 

Hell, I am 52 and I don't want to get shot by some crazy Ex GF. I have found a really nice girl and if she turns out not to be crazy, I am staying put...

 

It's weird because, since a big fiasco some years ago, she never contact my spouse, just me.

 

If she is coping with mental illness, I feel really bad for her. It's not easy when your worst enemy is your own mind.

[LivingWaterPlease]

wmacbride, why haven't you gotten a restraining order and had her arrested for breaking it? It's pretty easy to do.

[wmacbride]

Totally agree with Jenkins.

 

I can't even imagine still trying to make contact after so long. In fact, I can't imagine trying to contact the BW at all!!!

 

I have been thinking about her perspective a lot lately. I've put myself in her shoes and tried to imagine what it must feel like...infuriating for one. Like, who does this wench think she is, inserting herself into my family? Where is her compassion, her empathy, her BRAINS? And, hellooooo, I'm here, back the f*ck up!

 

THAT perspective is just one side of it. It's not even the really hurt one.

 

I almost feel like it would be easier to be super angry with the AP if your spouse had just one affair. Even though we all know your spouse is the one who made vows to you, you could be more likely to view the AP as the villain in that scenario. My xMM has had multiple affairs. I'm not even sure how many at this point. The last I heard, he and his wife were starting the divorce process and she was fighting it. I'm thinking, why?? Get this pig out of your life! There have been times I've wanted to send her helpful information or something...but I know it wouldn't exactly be welcomed.

 

In my case, I was one among many for him. I am sure she is still hurt by me. I will never be able make it up to her. But I hope for her sake that she is able to shed that dead-weight of a man and make a far better life for herself. I really hope she can figure it out.

 

As for me and how I feel...I would NEVER want to have any part in hurting her ever again.

 

in the situation you have described, it would almost be a "public service" to tell her what he's been doing, but I agree with you that there is a good chance who wouldn't listen.

 

In a situation like yours, I would walk away. You have a big heart for wanting to reach out to her. I just hope he didn't hurt you too badly, as he sounds like a real lech.

 

I can understand how affairs can happen, but I sure don;t condone them. A serial cheater like the one you were involved with is a different kettle of fish. I guess the bright side for you is that you realize who and what he was and got away.

 

You're a smart woman for doing so.

[wmacbride]

I'm going thru something similar. It's been over a year and that psycho junkie still won't accept that he wants nothing to do with her. Personally, if they ended up finding her in a ditch, I'd set up a reward for the person responsible do I could personally thank them.

 

 

It's to the point that I'd rather she have him and find someone that's on her level of ghetto Backpage drama to annoy from a distance. She knows not to come near me. He wants to reconcile and is trying but I'm over it. Twenty years and three kids...been thru hell.

 

 

What I want to know is, why do they affair down ? You gotta be on some serious dope to put a backpage junkie over your family.

 

The ow in my situation isn't a junkie or anything kike tat. She's just fixated.

 

One thing someone told me once is that she is an "emotional bully". She loves the drama of it all, and has cast herself in the role of being this poor, misunderstood little thing. She'll use other people's good nature and caring instinct to get her own way.

 

My husband was coping with mental illness ( combat PTSD ) at the time, as was getting ready to go on another deployment to Kandahar. He was in a really bad place at the time. I sometimes wonder if they both saw something in each other that was "broken". I don't know, and the odd thing is, even my husband can't explain it, which is annoying to me. Looking back, I think I would rather have him have some sort of explanation.

 

I guess emotions don't work that way.

[wmacbride]

wmacbride, why haven't you gotten a restraining order and had her arrested for breaking it? It's pretty easy to do.

 

We did.

 

Being demoted didn't work, Being hauled in front of their warrant officer to be yelled at didn't work, She has even spent a bit of time in the lovely Hotel Edmonton and it still didn't work. Having the military police show up at her door didn't work.

 

She knows the system, and she plays it well.

 

As a public service announcement...if you are a bs, ow/om or ws, once the affair is over, leave the other parties alone. If you feel the need to contact them, do it once and then walk away. Don't worry about the fabled "closure" or anything else. Give yourself a huge gift and move on.

[lostgirl87]

Before becoming an OW myself, I have never understood the "i hate the OW/OM for what they did but yeah, I still love and am married to my spouse who is the actual person who owes me anything". Now that I have been/am an OW, my perspective has changed just a little. I still don't agree with the OW/OM getting ALL the hate but they are definitely to blame!

 

Your situation is mind-boggling. I never spoke with, met or had any interaction at all with the wife other than when I told her what had happened and apologized. Her husband continues to reach out to me, claims to be faking a reconciliation with her and we still speak (although there is no sexual component to our relationship. we really just meet for lunch). I have no intention of ever speaking with his W again. As a matter of fact, I am working on myself right now to completely get out of this situation. and it's only been about 3 weeks since Dday. But TEN YEARS?! For a short "affair"? She is clearly mentally unstable and unfortunately, you can't compete with crazy.

 

I wouldn't worry about any negative feelings towards this particular woman. She should have been out of yall's lives years ago. Actually she should have never been in your life in the first place. You are the wife. You are the victim. You have been more than gracious. I would NEVER expect any consideration of my feelings from the wife. And I certainly wouldn't blame her for my hurt feelings since I was the one who got involved in HER marriage. Again, feel free to hate her. Feel free to have whatever negative feelings. But for your sake, don't let it eat at you. Don't allow it to consume you.

 

I am very sorry that you continue to have this crazy woman in your life. And I am sorry you had to deal with this situation at all!