somuchfortheone Posted May 3, 2017 Share Posted May 3, 2017 Do you think two workaholics would make a good match? Part of me says yes, because they'll understand how they both prioritize work so strongly...but the other part of me says eventually that lack of time together will eat away at the intimacy...and they'll drift apart... thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted May 3, 2017 Share Posted May 3, 2017 Agree with both but less time together is worrisome and ultimately not good for relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 3, 2017 Share Posted May 3, 2017 Workaholics put time & energy into work because it matters to them. If they both also value their relationships, they will make time for each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted May 3, 2017 Share Posted May 3, 2017 ...but the other part of me says eventually that lack of time together will eat away at the intimacy...and they'll drift apart... thoughts? In this regard, doesn't really matter if they're both workaholics - if one is the net effect on time apart is the same whether the partner is equally busy or home alone. I undermined my first marriage (though in truth, it was a team effort) with a Type A, all-in approach to my career. I was going to get ahead at all costs, not understanding - or caring, truth be told - the effect on a spouse who felt minimized and unimportant. So with two equally driven people, danger definitely lurks... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted May 3, 2017 Share Posted May 3, 2017 Thing is, people change over time. One may always be a workaholic, but the other might one day prioritize family and kids over work which causes a conflict when the workaholic is never home for the family even though that's what they've always done. Just an example. I think it could work short term but if the relationship is going to move to long term and marriage then serious talks about priorities and expectations etc will need to be had so you aren't going into a marriage blind 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Thisguy21 Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 I don't think workaholics are marriage material. Look at the workaholics divorce rate. Look at the kids who are now adults that deal with abandonment issue due to their workaholic parent or parents. If you are married to your job, then you are already married. Every workaholic I've ever known is divorced or has been divorced. Even two couples where both were DMs from large companies. So I've seen first hand two couples where both parties were workaholics. Both divorced now. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 Some people are workaholics because they work long hours because their boss or customers demand it and they must do that in order to keep their job, but, and this is the most important part, they would rather NOT be working that much and would rather be spending that time with their mate. Other workaholics are self-imposed workaholics and make their highest priority their work because they WANT to. Work is simply what means the most in life to them and what gives them the most fulfillment. They will work even when they don't need to and lie and say that they have to. These are the types of workaholics that end up divorced or can't get into a good relationship. As for two workaholics being together, it's the same as if one is a workaholic and the other is not. It will work if they both place more value in their work (or something else) and just want to have being in a relationship/marriage checked on their resume. They will stay together and for many that equals success. So basically if they are on the same page as far as the importance of the relationship in relation to work, then it will work out. It's when they start differing that it won't work out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Thisguy21 Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 As for two workaholics being together, it's the same as if one is a workaholic and the other is not. It will work if they both place more value in their work (or something else) and just want to have being in a relationship/marriage checked on their resume. They will stay together and for many that equals success. So basically if they are on the same page as far as the importance of the relationship in relation to work, then it will work out. It's when they start differing that it won't work out. That example right there is prime suspect for a life altering mid life crisis. The guy/gal who sees life as a sort of check list to happiness and ultimate success. Then they wake up one day with their checklist all filled out and realize they still aren't happy, nor feel fulfillment for all the work they've put in. Next thing you know the person you thought you married does a 180 and becomes someone completely different... Then you divorce. Lol. Workaholics aren't marriage material. Certainly not for me anyway. But I don't think it's a wise choice to be a workaholic and get married. By all means though, keep chasing that nonsensical check list. When you have it all checked off and still don't have any fulfillment in your life, well, you can always buy that Corvette you always wanted, and go to clubs at 50 years old and dress like you're in your 20s again. Maybe go to the salon and get a nice bubblegum pink hairdo you wanted 30 years ago when Greece was your favorite movie.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
georgia girl Posted May 6, 2017 Share Posted May 6, 2017 Workaholics can come in many shapes and sizes. Is someone a workaholic because they are self-absorbed and only what they are doing matters to them? If so, not great marriage material but likely not because he/she is a workaholic but because they are self-absorbed. Conversely is someone a workaholic because they are taking responsibilities seriously and holding themselves self-accountable for outcomes? Likely good marriage material because he/she will use those characteristics of self-accountabilty to work on the marriage So, for me the upshot isn't whether or not the person is a workaholic. (Self-confessed responsibility junkie and recovering workaholic here.) The upshot for me is why someone is a workaholic and also where they prioritize marriage in terms of life and work. Plus, there is no substitute for honest conversation and self-reflection. To me, if you are unwilling to compromise, you need to tell your partner that and they need to not lie to themselves and say it's okay, that they can change you. My husband and I are both responsibility junkies but we are our marriage our first priority. Sometimes, our jobs have to come first as others rely on us. But we are honest about it, explain it to our partners, do it less often all of the time and make up for it when it's over. Just my thoughts... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 Do you think two workaholics would make a good match? Part of me says yes, because they'll understand how they both prioritize work so strongly...but the other part of me says eventually that lack of time together will eat away at the intimacy...and they'll drift apart... thoughts? If children are in the eventual plans, something would have to change. And if only one parent adjusts and backs off the focus on career, it tends to cause resentment over the unbalanced roles. There certainly are dangers... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 I don't know about you, but in a life partner I want someone that values me more than their job. In a fwb not so much. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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