Tips for LDR in different countries

[bt_way]

I am currently in a long distance relationship and we are in different countries. I am in London doing gradschool studied and my other half is in California working hard. This was my choice to come to the UK for 1.5 years so I definately feel more emotional because of the whole new life transitioning aspect of it. Surprisingly the 8-hour time difference is not as difficult as I thought it would be because we have had a serious talk about understanding this time difference and our communication is so so good.

 

We used to see eachother 4x times a week at least and now we see eachother once for 1 week every 3-4 months. He can only visit for 1 when he does because his job is demanding. We do video chat about 1 time in every 2 weeks. We are going 2 years strong.

 

 

If you had asked me 2 years ago if i would ever do long distance, I would tell you "no way". But because I am in such an emotionally supportive relationship.. I dont regret a single day. I also have a mini project that helps me a bit to feel more connected:

https://www.instagram.com/bt_way/.

 

However, The mornings are the hardest for me. Sometimes its super hard for me to get up and feel motivated. Since I am in a new place, theres no one to wake me up or judge how productive in a day I have been. Sometimes I shut down.. meaning I feel like I cant even function and I feel overwhelmed and hibernate. The next time I will see him is in 4 months.

 

Does anyone have tips to combat long distance across countries?

 

Thank you xx

[d0nnivain]

I was in an LDR years ago before cellphones, Skype, e-mail & all the of the myriad of ways we now have to keep in touch.

 

 

We wrote daily snail mail letters that crossed in the mail and had 1 weekly phone call on Wednesday nights after 11 p.m. EST to save on costs.

 

 

I encourage you to use snail mail too. Having that piece of paper -- more so then a text or e-mail -- is tangible & it helps.

 

 

We also had a deal that when one of us did something unusual, the other got a trinket that costs < $5. I lived outside of NY & he lived near Disney in California. So when friends were in town who wanted to go to those places, the other got something. I had lots of Disney stuff & he had a collection of I love NY pencils & t-shirts. We'd send "free stuff too" like beach sand when I went down the shore or he went surfing in San Diego. It was just little ways to brighten the other's day since we couldn't take the other person on these day trips.

[blenkins90]

Good suggestions from d0nnivain above. Little surprises like getting a snail mail letter in the mail, or small gifts that show that you're thinking of the other person when they're not around go a long way.

 

I'm also 6hrs from my significant other of 8 months, on different continents (although I'm changing that in a few days by moving to her). And to be honest, I find that there are a lot of things that improve (mostly communication which you said was already great) when apart.

 

One other thing that I'll suggest: plan a 3 day weekend getaway somewhere inbetween for the two of you. Play a little airplane roulette, book a hotel and get lost in a new city together even if it's just a short time.

 

Even though it's expensive, this can go a long way to break up the distance and the time between seeing each other.

 

If you've been together for 2 years, and it's a great relationship, seems like the money would definitely be worth it to keep it going!

[Gr8fuln2020]

@bt_way. Some nice suggestions, but both are either making moves to be with one another in the short-term OR access to one another would not have been prohibitive if some regularity was desired. That is, a flight to NY/LA is do-able at least month to month.

 

If you two have been dating for 2-years and the relationship is strong, what is the plan to bridge the gap? I was in a LDR and the PLAN to be together was most hopeful and helpful.