whysotough Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 I know this sounds silly, but I am just curious. I've dated many girls, 4 of which were long relationships (2 years +). I find that I am somewhat different depending on how the relationship was, and depending on how I felt about the girl, and the overall nature of the relationship. With my ex for example, I was extremely extremely romantic, I was EXTREMELY expressive, I always felt like I needed to impress her, I constantly tired myself of trying not to bore her, of always exciting her, etc. With my current girlfriend, I am not as romantic or expressive, but I am fully myself. I am always considerate but I do not act like somebody I am not. I feel extremely secure in the relationship, and I am most certainly much happier than I was in my last relationship. I like to think of it as a more "effortless" relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 I'm always myself but there are subtle differences. One guy was a real outdoors man, huge fisherman, so we did a lot of outdoor stuff. When I dated an actor, things were more dramatic & over the top. DH is a quiet introvert so I learned not to be afraid of silence. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 I think you adapt to differences in new relationships......i think couples are all unique and its the dynamic that builds between two different people is what is beautful....it possible to love different people....and being with different people all it takes is the appreciation of individuality and bring what you have to the table in any relationship you are in...the dynamic adapts to suit....you can have peopel who are the same or peopel who are completely different and they will get on fine..... it is really negative actually to judge or compare an old relationship to a new one ...because the dynamic is new.....the union is unique..i am the same in any relationship...its the relationship and dynamic that is different...because the person i am with wont be the same....so i find that to eb an uplifitng thought.. i dont judge past relationships to new ones...the only thign i can do is keep true to my own behavior......and treat my partner well and with respect show my love and loyalty accept our differences our flaws and our positive traits together....and utmostly be forgiving.... and its all good..hopefully.....deb 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 Your previous one was out of your league. your current one is in the same league or lower league. Hope that explains...The difference between really care and care less... I suppose the ideal match is in the same league. Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 Just like interviews, if I don't care the job much, I usually more relax and be more myself and perform better and in the end I got the job. on the contrary, if it is my dream job, I will be extremely nervous and doubt if I am good enough, and never got the job. Link to post Share on other sites
burnt Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 It is impossible for anyone to be the SAME in every relationship, unless he/she is a robot. We humans, at a very instinctive level, respond to the environment the around us constantly; we are programmed to change as response to the change in the environment. Whether it's obvious or not, everything your partner does or does not do, says or does not say will have some sort of an impact on you, however subtle that impact might be. In case I'm not making much sense, think of couples who have lived together for many years; sharing lives, sharing years, after a while each "absorbs" many traits likes/dislikes of the other--this process happens subconsciously, effortlessly, and often unknowingly. When you love someone, you will by human nature adapt and adopt some of your partners habits, preferences, and life-styles; after a while what you think of your "identify" and your partner's identify get somewhat entwined. So, what I'm saying is, yes you will be somewhat different in every relationship--because (1) every partner will be a different individual and will have a different effect on you, and (2) every relationship dynamic will be different and therefore you will act somewhat differently to adapt to that dynamic. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 Oh, no. I'm different in every relationship. I'm different about just about everything except my core focus or interests. I would be real romantic with one and real just sexy with another, buddies with another, and there was one I even had trouble forming the word "no" with, which isn't like me. Link to post Share on other sites
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