HermitLover Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 Broke up at the end of 2015. She contacts march 2016 I hesitate but then set up dates for may, we plan a date at my place later in the months. She can't make it. June 8 when she cancelled the bonfire she said. A night next week will be good! Then I never heard from her again. Recently got facebook as one of my friends said they lost my number. So i decided to get it but not post anything just use it as messenger basically Out of the blue I see a friend request from my ex last week. I am stunned as I still am having difficulties moving on. I know I am probably overthinking this. But does this mean anything? Or just another tick on the friend counter? My friend posted one pic of me and I have lost some weight I hope she doe sent look at that and think wow he is not who he used to be and ****. Any help appreciated Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 Since you are having trouble moving on, deny the friend request. There is nothing to gain by doing that and it will make it impossible for you to move on. You're not ready to just be her friend and that appears to be where she is at. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Spice Girl Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 Curiosity, boredom, looking for an ego boost or a rebound, clicked on 'add friend' by accident, etc... Probably not what you're hoping for in any case (sorry). Unless she comes up with the clear intention of starting anew (and even then act with caution), it's probably best to do nothing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HermitLover Posted May 5, 2017 Author Share Posted May 5, 2017 Since you are having trouble moving on, deny the friend request. There is nothing to gain by doing that and it will make it impossible for you to move on. You're not ready to just be her friend and that appears to be where she is at. I wish I didn't then... Should I remove facebook again? Or just delete her? Won't that show I havent moved on to her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HermitLover Posted May 5, 2017 Author Share Posted May 5, 2017 Curiosity, boredom, looking for an ego boost or a rebound, clicked on 'add friend' by accident, etc... Probably not what you're hoping for in any case (sorry). Unless she comes up with the clear intention of starting anew (and even then act with caution), it's probably best to do nothing. Danm wish I hadent excepted it. Should I de friend her? Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 Yes unfriend her. It means nothing she added you other than she wants to be nosey. If she wanted you back she would message you such. Delete her or better yet block her and move on. Having her on yours analyzing every single status and like will drive you mental. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 Yes unfriend her. Don't care what she thinks. Care about you and your well being. That's what matters. Ex's need to communicate their desire with at least a "let's talk" or something fairly clear that they are interested. Social media is the worst when it comes to getting over a break up. Let her call you or text you directly with something meaningful before you ever think of responding or acting in anyway on what might be a meaningless breadcrumb. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HermitLover Posted May 5, 2017 Author Share Posted May 5, 2017 Yes unfriend her. Don't care what she thinks. Care about you and your well being. That's what matters. Ex's need to communicate their desire with at least a "let's talk" or something fairly clear that they are interested. Social media is the worst when it comes to getting over a break up. Let her call you or text you directly with something meaningful before you ever think of responding or acting in anyway on what might be a meaningless breadcrumb. Thank you everyone for the replies! Yes breadcrumbs they were and I wont let my mind lie to me otherwise.... It feels like a tug of war... Oh maybe she will text now that you unfriended her! Ugh. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 If she wanted to see you she would. Stay dark. She played you before. Nothing more to this either 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SpecialJ Posted May 6, 2017 Share Posted May 6, 2017 I don't think you should unfriend her unless you can't fight the temptation to check her profile. You can set your settings so that she can't actually see much about you and so she is hidden from your view. If you've already unfriended her or you know you'll keep looking at her profile then that's fine, but since you already accepted I'd just set it to silent, leave it, and ignore her. Maybe unfriend her several months from now if she's never reached out again, and then it won't be a big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HermitLover Posted May 7, 2017 Author Share Posted May 7, 2017 I don't think you should unfriend her unless you can't fight the temptation to check her profile. You can set your settings so that she can't actually see much about you and so she is hidden from your view. If you've already unfriended her or you know you'll keep looking at her profile then that's fine, but since you already accepted I'd just set it to silent, leave it, and ignore her. Maybe unfriend her several months from now if she's never reached out again, and then it won't be a big deal. Ahh I just deleted the bloody garbage. Nothing good ever came out of my facebook now that I think about it. Just a bunch of friendship cards with friends I never really had.... If she was really interested she wouldn't let me go so easily 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HermitLover Posted June 8, 2017 Author Share Posted June 8, 2017 We went out for awhile. I got needy and pushed her away. I went no contact January of last year. She contacted March I hesitated but finally agreed to meet around the end of May. We agreed to a bonfire but she said she was busy at the last minute. I had developed panic disorder and couldn't pick her up and I doubt she could get a car either. I never told her the truth about my illness. I heard from my dad she went to school out east. She is back for the holidays I assume and was wondering if it is a good Idea to reach out its been a year since the planned date and she never got back to me She did send a friend request to me last month but I had to delete Facebook because I couldn't take the emotions I felt seeing her. Wondering if She'll be receptive or maybe too much time has past. Why would she reach out on FB? Anyways getting swept by emotions and wanted a calm review of the situation . Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 Unless your panic disorder has been addressed & you won't have a similar freak out your time would be better spend addressing your issue then chasing after her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HermitLover Posted June 8, 2017 Author Share Posted June 8, 2017 Unless your panic disorder has been addressed & you won't have a similar freak out your time would be better spend addressing your issue then chasing after her. Your absolutly right man, I dont know what has gotten into me these days. Alot of emotions I suppose Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 You're still too emotional to contact her. Link to post Share on other sites
middy Posted June 12, 2017 Share Posted June 12, 2017 It's called fishing. She's throwing the line out to you to see if you bite. My STBXW and I completely blocked each other from social media. But she'll probably check my page through my son's just because she's a nosy, control freak. I know it's hard especially when you invested so much into someone but sometimes you just need to get away and be single. I'll rather live out of my truck and be at peace than live in a house with her and be at war. Link to post Share on other sites
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