Getting a girlfriend

[yggdrasil]

Hi, this is my first post here, and I wanted to ask advice on what would be the best way to increase my chances of getting a girlfriend.

I'm nineteen, a university student, and have not had one before. However, I live at home and the lectures don't really give much chance for interaction.

I've heard people suggest classes, but the thing is most classes don't really interest me. I'm already teaching myself a language and there's no classes for it in my city, and it would be confusing to learn two languages at once.

I don't really like clubs or drinking either, so that's not a possibility either.

I go to the gym quite a lot and there are girls there, but I've heard mixed thoughts on approaching girls at the gym.

So what sort of activities would people recommend? Any advice would be appreciated.

[d0nnivain]

It's easy to find love on campus. If you see a pretty girl in class ask to study together or at least see her notes. It's a great non threatening opening line. If you see an attractive girl walking across campus smile. Next time you see her say hi.

 

 

Get involved with on campus organizations that interest you. Play a co-ed sport. Volunteer somewhere.

 

 

Study in public -- the library, the student union, the quad etc. & every so often pick your head out of the book & look around.

 

 

Go to on campus events, rallies, movies, bon fires, ice cream socials.

[tetrahedral]

Hi, this is my first post here, and I wanted to ask advice on what would be the best way to increase my chances of getting a girlfriend.

I'm nineteen, a university student, and have not had one before. However, I live at home and the lectures don't really give much chance for interaction.

I've heard people suggest classes, but the thing is most classes don't really interest me. I'm already teaching myself a language and there's no classes for it in my city, and it would be confusing to learn two languages at once.

I don't really like clubs or drinking either, so that's not a possibility either.

I go to the gym quite a lot and there are girls there, but I've heard mixed thoughts on approaching girls at the gym.

So what sort of activities would people recommend? Any advice would be appreciated.

 

That's how most people your age socialize. So maybe you need to step out of your comfort zone.

[yggdrasil]

I understand what you mean,but I don't really want to get into bad habits over it. Plus, none of my current friends really drink either.

[yggdrasil]

It's easy to find love on campus. If you see a pretty girl in class ask to study together or at least see her notes. It's a great non threatening opening line. If you see an attractive girl walking across campus smile. Next time you see her say hi.

 

 

Get involved with on campus organizations that interest you. Play a co-ed sport. Volunteer somewhere.

 

 

Study in public -- the library, the student union, the quad etc. & every so often pick your head out of the book & look around.

 

 

Go to on campus events, rallies, movies, bon fires, ice cream socials.

 

Sorry, I should have mentioned I'm from the UK. I don't know how different it is to America, but It's kind of hard ti find people who are studying the same course in the library.

[d0nnivain]

Sorry, I should have mentioned I'm from the UK. I don't know how different it is to America, but It's kind of hard ti find people who are studying the same course in the library.

 

 

Doesn't matter. You do your real studying in isolation but do your class reading or something that doesn't require your most intense focus in public so you can check out the people in the library. You're there to study the opposite sex for 2-3 hours not just your course of study. Do get some work done but you have to be visible to others if you would like to date.

[yggdrasil]

So what is the best way to approach? I'd feel kind of weird just going up to them without good reason.

[preraph]

I recommend just making a habit of sitting outside on the campus lawn where you're visible or other places where students are just gathering. Make a routine of going there and you'll maybe start having people who also go there or go past there recognize you. Also, when walking around campus, just keep your head up and your face open and nod and say hi to people (all people, not just girls you like) so you are perceived as friendly and approachable. Remember if you made one friend, they will have other friend to get to know and that's how you make more friends and meet people. If you won't look up or only look at your phone or you don't ever smile or nod friendly, no one will want to talk to you.

[d0nnivain]

Just say hi. If they smile & say hi back, ask about something going on at school; talk about the weather; use the classic cliché -- what's your major? It doesn't have to Shakespeare or innovative. Just talk to them.

[whatnot]

Hi, this is my first post here, and I wanted to ask advice on what would be the best way to increase my chances of getting a girlfriend.

I'm nineteen, a university student, and have not had one before. However, I live at home and the lectures don't really give much chance for interaction.

I've heard people suggest classes, but the thing is most classes don't really interest me. I'm already teaching myself a language and there's no classes for it in my city, and it would be confusing to learn two languages at once.

I don't really like clubs or drinking either, so that's not a possibility either.

I go to the gym quite a lot and there are girls there, but I've heard mixed thoughts on approaching girls at the gym.

So what sort of activities would people recommend? Any advice would be appreciated.

I'll leave it to others to tell you what you should do to get a girlfriend because, what I'm about to tell won't make you feel good about it.

 

The best way for you to get a girlfriend is to keep doing what you are doing. Teaching yourself a new language. Going to classes. Keeping yourself in good physical, mental and emotional shape. Continuing to better yourself. (which you are doing, I know 'em when I see 'em)....and so will she. She's gonna find you.

 

Guys like you don't grow on trees. Some woman's gonna take notice. Trust me on that one friend. lol She's coming...and she's coming for a guy...just like yourself.

[whatnot]

And stay out of bars. The kind of woman who's looking for a guy like you, aren't hanging out in bars. You're doing every right.

Edited May 5, 2017 by whatnot

[oldshirt]

So what is the best way to approach? I'd feel kind of weird just going up to them without good reason.

 

wanting to meet them and get to know them on an interpersonal basis is a good reason.

[yggdrasil]

Thanks for all the help everyone. Something else I wanted to ask about was the importance of being funny. I've heard that it's one of the most important things, but it doesn't come easily to me. I can make a good joke in the right circumstances, but not normally off the top of my head.

Also there seems to have been a misunderstanding. I'm not taking classes, unless you count uni lectures. I'm teaching myself Norwegian at home, there are no classes for it available near me.

Edited May 6, 2017 by yggdrasil

[d0nnivain]

Also there seems to have been a misunderstanding. I'm not taking classes, unless you count uni lectures.

 

 

We understand that you are taking uni lectures. We are calling those classes & we are suggesting that you meet women in those classes.

 

 

Being funny is good but you don't have to be the class clown or a stand up comedian. It's more about putting people at ease.

[elaine567]

As you live at home it is easy for you to show up for lectures and other scheduled events and then toddle off home again so you meet no-one new.

 

You need to hang about more, go for coffee, have lunch in studenty places, go to the library. Find out about study groups.

Be aware of student social events, not all will involve clubs and drinking, movie nights, live music, comedy events, debating groups etc.

Join some student sports, interest or hobby clubs.

Get involved.

University is a great place to meet all sorts of different people and you need to take all that it has to offer, you will never be in that place again.

 

The world of work is often isolating and it can be difficult to meet new people, so get out there and enjoy yourself at university.

[whatnot]

Thanks for all the help everyone. Something else I wanted to ask about was the importance of being funny. I've heard that it's one of the most important things, but it doesn't come easily to me. I can make a good joke in the right circumstances, but not normally off the top of my head.

Also there seems to have been a misunderstanding. I'm not taking classes, unless you count uni lectures. I'm teaching myself Norwegian at home, there are no classes for it available near me.

You're inquisitiveness is a part of your charm. You're gonna do fine.

[yggdrasil]

Thanks for the advice, I'll give it a try.

[blenkins90]

 

Be social. I mean, really social. Talk to the cashier at the convenience store. Talk to the girl who makes your sandwiches at the deli. Talk to the girl who runs the register at Walmart. Talk to eeeeveryone. Be friendly, happy, and if you can manage it, witty. Not only will this build your social skills, but you might be surprised how many women you will meet just living your life, if you pay attention to them.

 

 

 

 

This advice is pure gold. Do this, and get yourself out into the world in places you like hanging out doing things that make you feel alive.

[yggdrasil]

In regards to studying in the library, the only thing putting me off is the idea that i'd just be disturbing her. How do I know when interaction is welcome?

Also, about the gym. I use my university's gym, so there are a lot of people my age there. They have this small room for the barbells, boxing bag, etc., where only a few people care allowed in at a time. Girls come in there often, but again it's hard to tell if I'd be viewed as a disturbance.

[d0nnivain]

If her head is in a book & she's alone in a study carol, leave her alone. If she's at a big table, looking around more then reading, she's open to having a conversation.

[yggdrasil]

There is a girl who often sits in the library when I am there. She is often on her phone and by herself, but she doesn't really look about or anything. The thing is there are loads of tables about and I can't think of way of approaching and sitting on the same table when there's a lot with nobody on them and each table is really small.

[d0nnivain]

Just pull out the chair, smile & say is this seat taken. If she glares at you, sit elsewhere. If you get a puzzled look she's not sure if you don't understand social norms or if you are hitting on her. If she smiles, you're in.

[yggdrasil]

Yes it's my university library. I normally study at home but recently started doing it at the library instead.

[spiderowl]

Thanks for all the help everyone. Something else I wanted to ask about was the importance of being funny. I've heard that it's one of the most important things, but it doesn't come easily to me. I can make a good joke in the right circumstances, but not normally off the top of my head.

Also there seems to have been a misunderstanding. I'm not taking classes, unless you count uni lectures. I'm teaching myself Norwegian at home, there are no classes for it available near me.

 

Actually, this is not really about being funny. Humour is good because it breaks up the tension of any meeting. Where people are feeling uncertain, humour can trigger laughter and the tension disperses. But you don't have to be funny, just light-hearted and friendly. Little actions can also disperse tension in any social setting. A friend of mine turns up at the table with bags of crisps, opens them and puts them in the middle to share. Everyone immediately joins in, thanks him and smiles. It is an uplifting gesture. Getting someone a chair, offering people a scrapbook or photos to look at, generally sharing in a relaxed way. All these things can reduce tension and bring people together. Asking someone's opinion on something, books, gadgets, music, all these things help.

[Cookiesandough]

It's important to me a guy be funny/witty to me. Tried dating a guy who had a different brand of humor than mine, perhaps (he just wasn't funny to me), and it gets boring fast. I feel humor is like one of the most important things a couple can share. When you get old and things go south you can laugh about it together

Edited May 11, 2017 by Cookiesandough