ruby31 Posted May 6, 2017 Share Posted May 6, 2017 My husband of 2 years recently made it clear he would like to start hanging out with his guys friends ( all whom are unmarried and disrespectful) for the past five yrs of our relationship he had always put me first, now I feel like I've been put on the back burner and feel broken hearted and upset at these friends for taking him away from me ( I know childish right). Through the years of our relationship I lost ties too all of my friends, and all concept of who I used to before him, i just feel lost now. all i do is work and cater to my husband. How do I start having a social life again? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 6, 2017 Share Posted May 6, 2017 (edited) You sign up for a class and go do something that you enjoy. With any luck, you will meet a new friend. Or, you ask some coworkers to join you for drinks or a movie one night. There are many things that you can do that are fun and will introduce you to a whole new group of friends. I understand the desire to spend all your time with your significant other, but it's really not healthy to let go of your own interests, friends and family, to invest so heavily in that one relationship. You have put all your eggs in one basket, so to speak, and that's not a good thing. I think he is correct, your relationship may just improve if you have some time away from each other to make some new friends/explore other interests. He may feel a lot of pressure, if your world really does revolve around him and he doesn't have any time to do his own thing. I would just be cautious with the fact that he wants to spend more time with his buddies who are all single and maybe, not the best influence on a married man... There is potential for this plan to go bad... Best wishes. Edited May 6, 2017 by BaileyB 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 6, 2017 Share Posted May 6, 2017 Hey Ruby, Just looking back over your other posts and it would seem that you have much bigger issues in your marriage than your husband wanting to spend more time with his friends. It would seem, that he doesn't really want to be there anymore, based on your complaints that you argue all the time and he has no desire for sex. I would be very concerned about the fact that he wants to spend more time going out with his single friends... If he wants to invest in the marriage, I would suggest counselling. But, I'm not sure based on what you have written that he would be interested in counselling. You should maybe think about whether you want to stay involved with this man... It doesn't sound like your relationship has been particularly happy or healthy since the day you were married. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/605575-lost 2 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted May 6, 2017 Share Posted May 6, 2017 This has been going downhill since you said, "I do." My suggestion is get with an MC and present this in a manner that will make clear how dissatisfied you are if he won't do that and you two can find an acceptable common ground, then start getting your affairs in order and building a life for yourself for your post-divorce life. As others have indicated throughout your other posts, there is a chance that if you develop a good life on your own, that may take some of the pressure off of your marriage and off of him to make you feel fulfilled and that may fix some things. The fact that he is wanting to spend all his time with single dudes is troubling however. A person is the average of the 5 people they spend the most time with. If the 5 people he spends the most time with are single guys partying and picking up chicks........... Link to post Share on other sites
Telemachus Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 Your social life should involve your husband, and his social life should involve you. Connect with an old friend who's married, and invite your husband to join in going out to dinner with them. Another commenter on your posting indicated that you indicate in other postings that you and your husband argue. I'm not sure how you put active open conflict into the category of catering to him. If all you do is work and cater to him, then there's no time left for arguing. It takes two to argue. You may not be catering to him as much as you claim. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 Your social life should involve your husband, and his social life should involve you. . I don't think that being married means you don't socialise with anyone without your spouse. It would get very stifling if that was the case. It just sounds from what others have said that your marriage has other issues. Link to post Share on other sites
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