Do "things" attract people/start conversations

[Mysterio]

For me. Any time I seem to attract a woman romantically. Its never when I am in the mindset to do so. Never when I care. Its when I don't care is when I get interest.

 

I don't know why that is. When I do show interest. I am respectful and I am not over bareing. I ask them out and I go out with them. I don't try to do anything physical with the women or come off as super strong. Its like going out with a female friend, except there is the ambiguous attraction that shuold come out. Where my female friends. There is no big Romantic vibe between is.

[preraph]

I want to mention that most women I know are leery of men who go overboard with the big screen tvs and having to buy every new tech thing or expensive toy. Which is because most of the women I know realize those men can't really afford that and are just piling up debt. Also, women don't always like a lot of electronics dominating the decor.

[Imported]

This is passive and nothing wrong with that, it's just that for the most part, even when some women are highly attracted to you, they will not start a conversation. If you want to talk to a woman, go up and start talking to her. Things might be useful after the fact though.

 

Cars, I love cars. I usually just get a performance oriented sedan with a nice interior that can be opted for manual, leather and in a subdued color. Other than high school, not sure I ever got a girl to go out with me because of a car. Usually when they see my car, we're already going out. It helps though when women like the smell of leather, the sounds of a performance exhaust (JDM fart rockets, gtfo) and down shifts. Don't care if autos are faster now lol. I think it sets the mood and really helps with how things go.

 

What will help you a lot is being fit and trim. So "things" like running shoes, swim goggles and heavy ass weights can be useful for attraction.

[RecentChange]

I wear quirky glasses.

 

I can't tell you how many people use them as an excuse to start up a conversation. There are certain things that are good ice breakers.

 

As for the fancy cars. I like cars, my dad built and raced them, but for the most part if I see a guy in a showy car, I am not going to approach at all - for fear of appearing like a gold digger, or giving him attention that I precieved that he is trying to obtain with the car!

[elaine567]

I want to mention that most women I know are leery of men who go overboard with the big screen tvs and having to buy every new tech thing or expensive toy. Which is because most of the women I know realize those men can't really afford that and are just piling up debt. Also, women don't always like a lot of electronics dominating the decor.

 

Agreed, lofts and outhouses and skips full of discarded, outdated gadgets and "toys" and no money in the bank...

[ZA Dater]

Its good to know my thinking isn't completely wrong on this one.

[Cookiesandough]

^ I think if a woman is really into cars and not just the money to buy them, she will have at some point owned a nice car of her own. My interest in cars isn't monetary, for instance. My dad was a car nut. He bought cars that had been wrecked and fixing them up to resell was his hobby. We had '59 Cadillacs and well, just about every year Cadillac one time or another because he loved driving them, and we had a '66 Jaguar XKE, an Avante (loved how it looked), a '30s Cord, Mustang, T-Birds, just about everything over the years. I came from the best era for cars, so together with having exposure to so many nice ones, it's just natural for me to love the cars, but I have never restricted my dating to guys with money at all, in fact, just the opposite.

 

So as Carhill said, people like them for all different reasons. I like them because I like them, not because they spell money. I get chills when I hear the rumble of a late '60s Charger, and I can hear one coming. One time I was at the casino with my sister and we were just parking and I heard that rumble, looked around and saw the high tailfin of a Dodge Daytona behind me. I had never seen one in person before, even though they were from my era because they were a special racing package. Then there was another and another, and turns out it was a car show and people arriving.

 

Another time I was in a wave pool and real relaxed almost dreaming and I realized I heard that engine. When I left, there was a Dodge club gathering behind the pool in the park.

 

I love the sound of fighter jets, too, having grown up under a base. But I don't expect my date to have one, though one of my dates did. I was too unconventional for him though. But nice wings.

 

 

Yea this is totally different. You can tell when someone are really into cars as a hobby /creativity vs. just to show off their "things". I really have bad associations with the latter group. They've usually very haughty

[preraph]

Yea this is totally different. You can tell when someone are really into cars as a hobby /creativity vs. just to show off their "things". I really have bad associations with the latter group. They've usually very haughty

 

Yes, I agree. I've never been into conventional status symbol type things or designer clothes or any of that.

 

And sadly the day is past when I could hope to fit my fat butt into a Lambo, though it wouldn't stop me from trying! Electric blue, please!

[thefooloftheyear]

I don't do anything with the motivation to attract women...Never....ever...but i'd be lying if I said some of those things don't attract some women...

 

I'm very fit and heavily muscled because I like to train and be strong and fit.....I don't ever do what the chicken legged peckerhead guys do that only train arms and walk around in tight t shirts and flaring arms out like they are carrying luggage:rolleyes:, ...But I am a pretty big guy, with a mesomorph physique that shows in all clothes..They do notice and I get randomly complimented at times..I have also noticed that some women, say a cashier, or a customer, will fixate on my shoulders, and not make eye contact, I guess its the same when guys stare at women with big tits....

 

I have a fair amount of ink that I did because I wanted it...Its often brought up by women, but then again, if I was just a typical poorly groomed, fat beer gut slob with tatts, maybe I wouldn't hear anything...Who knows??

 

I like to smell good, because I am a bit of a neat freak, and fussy about odors...I go to the men's fragrance counter and spend a bunch of time selecting just the right fragrance, and never too heavy...I am almost like a woman in that regard...I like my cars/trucks, home, self, to smell good at all times...I don't care what women think of it, if they like it, good I guess(shrug)...

 

I hear people(usually women) giving advice to some people that they need to be more talkative, more gregarious...While its not bad advice and may actually work in some cases, for someone like me, who barely talks to anyone randomly, it would be a colossal flop...

 

At the end of the day, though, its never advisable to do something that you wouldn't just ordinarily do in your daily life, in the hopes of attracting an opposite sex person...Man or woman...If you do, it won't work......I get the point that some women that are unhappy with their breasts get a boob job, but if its just to attract men, and not to correct a personal issue, or lack of confidence, then its unlikely that you will be satisfied in the end...I hear guys all the time(even on here), talking about working out or bodybuilding in the hopes of being more attractive to the opposite sex..If you do it solely for that reason, then it usually becomes a let down..Don't believe it? Take a look at the hottest women you see on the street and see who they are with...Rarely are they with the gym nut with the 21" arms and 20" neck...Most often its the skinny type or even the pudgy guy with the charming personality..

 

 

If its not something that comes naturally or without perhaps frivolous external motivation factors, then its not who you really are as a person..

 

TFY

Edited May 11, 2017 by thefooloftheyear

[preraph]

But if you can't think of anything you can do or thing you can have to attract people to talk to you, then that is your problem right there: You don't have enough interests to be interesting. So you better branch out.

 

Carry a book. whatever.

[basil67]

Interesting view points all. Some fine tastes in cars too!

 

 

My point really is, if one is shy perhaps things can boost confidence and give an in to a conversation at least.

 

 

This weekend I had think about this, if you have something interesting people will, well some will gravitate towards that which can be a conversation starter.

 

 

Yes, the object shouldn't be how you are defined but if you are a person who isn't really having much luck at dating them maybe a something is just what you need to start conversations. Be it a puppy or dare I say it a nice car.

 

 

One can stick ones head in the sand and say "oh well its superficial and materialistic" but as I am fast learning much about dating is those things.

 

I see where you're going here, but I think you've got it backwards. It's better to notice other people's things and create a conversation geared towards them than have your own things and *hope* someone talks to you about them.

[preraph]

Why not do both? I have two incredibly cute puppies and a sexy car. If I take one or both of those puppies out for a walk, I can guarantee I will be approached by attractive women. Never fails. If I take my car to the car wash, put the convertible top down, and go for a ride on a nice day, there is a good chance I will have attractive women talking to me. If I wanna pull out the big guns, I will take the convertible out for a spin with a puppy sitting next to me. Women cannot contain themselves. Now, I can look around for a girl that has something interesting with her that works as an ice breaker, but most have their heads in their phones. Not worth it. Easy enough to create my own luck and let them come to me. Gives me the upper hand.

 

Okay, Enigma32, now you're just not playing fair and taking unfair advantage of our sweet natures and materialistic little hearts.

[ZA Dater]

I see where you're going here, but I think you've got it backwards. It's better to notice other people's things and create a conversation geared towards them than have your own things and *hope* someone talks to you about them.

 

Yes that's pretty much where I am going. Me, I have resorted to simply buying things I like because buying things I think other people might like has lead to me having loads of clothes I never wear because I don't like the style.

 

 

Had a really down week dating wise/loneliness wise so re reading through this thread did make me smile a bit.

 

 

I do think that things could help one expand ones social circles if you can tie them in with a hobby as a way of meeting people.

[Timshel]

ZA, as long as the 'things' are a genuine reflection of who you are and not a 'put on' (Eminence Front ) it's all good.

[Chilli]

Weird though , l've actually found at my most comfortable times in life when ;l've had plenty of money of a very cool car , l get less of the type of attention l like.

 

l've never used that stuff nor believe in it but they were just things l noticed.

would've thought l'd be on easy street buttttt, not so. not with th type l like anyway.

[GorillaTheater]

I don't know what the single guys would say about this, but one place that strikes me as a great place to meet women is the wine aisle of a store. My wife enjoys a good bottle of wine, and on more than one occasion I found myself discussing the merits of such-and-such brand with a woman.

 

 

Now, I made no bones about the fact that I was buying the bottle for my wife, so maybe they figured I was "safe" and maybe that made a difference, but it certainly seemed like a great ice-breaker.