I am kind of lost and in need of direction

[Jester282]

So ill try and sum up whats happening. Back in November I came home from work and found my wife's facebook open to a conversation with Friend "L", which had screen shots of a conversation she was having with her ex. So I did something I had never considered doing before, I snooped her phone. On her phone I saw the conversation with her ex, which unto itself was fairly benign and more of a how are you doing(I was upset however she never mentioned to me she had talked to him), and I read further into her conversations with friend "L". This was where I learned she was saving up for a divorce and planning on filing when our lease was up in 4 months, as well as she had been saying some incredibly nasty things about me for awhile.

Months before she had voiced concerns that my life wasn't having the momentum it needed for what she wanted in the future, and she was right it wasn't. My job doesn't pay the best but it was solid as a rock and allowed me to stay at home during the day with our son and take care of him saving us on child care. When she first voiced concern I applied to a few places but didn't see many opportunities. Then I missed a deadline to register for school and had to settle for a later semester. All this was prior to November but I was slowly starting to get my life moving in a direction I thought would make her happy. So the conversation with "L" was heart shattering, and we had a huge emotional conversation over it. She agreed to work it out, that she was "easy to forgive" but she had grown bitter to me over the years.We started our first attempt at marriage counseling, but due to the holidays and the fact we only went to 3 sessions before she wanted to stop we never really did anything more than scratch the surface. So January rolls around and I start classes, things seem still shaky and then one snowy Saturday she announces she wants a divorce again. Once again we have another emotional conversation and she agrees to work on things.

Things seem OK for about another week, then slowly begin to slide again. In February days after my birthday she wants to separate, and we did for a week. I will not lie i was distraught, I sent her horrible sappy text messages begging her to reconsider and to think of our son. I wanted to try more marriage counseling or for her to give me more time while I continued to work towards what I promised her I would do. After a few days I stumbled upon the 180 plan, and began to follow that. A week after the initial separation she told me to come home and we would work on it. But since then things have just been flat lined. She says she wants to work on things, but is distant and withdrawn. Due to all the ups and downs of the past 7 months my doctor says I now have anxiety and he is right. I tried to get her in with another MC and she blew that off. I tried to show her the love busters stuff, she said she would look at it and never did. When we are alone she spends all her time on facebook (she isnt cheating), just basically avoiding all contact with me. I am not perfect and I want to change the things about myself I need to do so I can be there for my son, regardless of whether we work out or not. But how long should I wait? Is it normal for this to keep happening. Should I just give up and jump off this ship??

[Simple Logic]

Your marriage resembles a patient with terminal cancer.

[Marc878]

Never cry, beg and plead. It's unnattractive and lowers your status.

 

Never ever leave your home!!! If she wants to separate let her leave.

 

You can't make her want you. You need to fix your needy, clingy ways

 

Check your phone bill. Facebook is called ****book for a reason.

 

She's talking to an X about you're shortcomings it's at least an emotional affair

 

Ignorance is bliss until it isn't